My Sincerist Apologies to the Forum

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Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 5/30/2008 1:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Being a Moderator here requires restraint.  Fairness.  Patience.  Lot's of time.  And it also requires tolerance.  This week I got only one right.  Lot's of time ~ spent avoiding the other four.  I have to respect those of all beliefs, but still be committed to the rules of the forum and walk the fine line of enforcing them.   
Being a Christian requires requires the same from me for my brothers ~ all of them ~ at a higher level, and the ability to turn the other cheek.  It's hard to control emotions when those I Love are hurt by others I Love.  My original post "Attention Forum Members ~ Like Now!" called out a brother.  I may never see eye to eye with the individual I offended.  My anger allowed me to avoid my religious responsibilities and my common sense.  I have always said I am never more than a student in life.  No matter what I know there is always something to learn that will make me a wiser man. 
My sincerest apologies to my brethren here.  I ask and give forgiveness.

Age 45 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
Prostate Cancer Forum Moderator

Post Edited (TC-LasVegas) : 5/30/2008 3:37:18 AM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 762
   Posted 5/30/2008 3:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tony,
Now that.... is a coincidence. I just flicked off an email to you and now reading your post now, all I can say as one of those longer term members, is that I feel you have nothing to apologise for at all. My husband and I have the greatest admiration for how you handled on-line a very difficult situation recently, and we feel you handled it with (as I said in my private email) dignity and strength. Sometimes, it is good to reflect on how we might have handed things differently - we (CJ and I) do this constantly - but in our opinion Tony - you have nothing to apologise for right now. Your best is your best, and in this instance in the last week - it has been truly appreciated by us as two long term (can I say that now although limited posts in 17 months??) members.
We do not post to others forums as a rule (although I have posted one well received and answered, informative question on the breast ca forum) so we really rely on this one, and all its members on a daily basis. We reckon you have done just great - in every way...
PS. Our 12 month appointment yesterday for CJ was "all clear" - Specialist was pleased with 12 montly progress all around - now 6 monthly  PSA's for next 12 months then annual - Specialist does not expect reoccurance - we are pleased. Lets get back to the real point of the forum as Walt said recently. THIS IS OUR GOOD NEWS for today.
Thanks Tony for all you do. You have nothing to apologise for and everything to be thanked for,  in our opinions. Take good care of you.     :-) Lana & CJ
Creed_three (Lana & CJ)
Husband CJ aged 50 yrs (49 years at diagnosis and surgery)
PSA (2002) 2.1.  PSA (2006) 3.5.  1 x (5%) core of 12 positive at biopsy. 11 cores negative. Open Radical Prostatectomy with nerve sparing, on 17th April 2007 (Sydney, Australia).
Gleeson 3 + 4 = 7.   
Fortunate to have three (3) "undetectable" PSAs since surgery 1 yr ago.  June 2007: PSA 0.01; Oct 2007:PSA 0.02; April 2008:PSA 0.02.

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 5/30/2008 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   

Thank you Lana & CJ,
Walt (War-eagle) made a truly great point.  (please see his post).  This whole thing is trivial in the course of things, and it required consideration of every perspective.  I have my side of my story, I stand unwaivered in it, but I let it go, I have to.  This caused a disruption, and I needed to handle it with less drama.  These people are special to my heart. I don't think anybody wanted this escalated the way it was.  Right or wrong, I was a part of that


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 5/30/2008 5:10 AM (GMT -6)   
I am not sure what happened, but I will say I am proud of you Tony.
I stand firm by my christian beliefs even though someone here in the forum thanks otherwise and that is ok, we should and do respect all of our brothers and sisters.

peace and love
My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 46 (current)
My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
Currently on Lupron
I go to The Cancer Treatment Center of America
Married with two kids
latest PSA 5-27-08 0.11
cancer in 4 of 6 cores

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 5/30/2008 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   

No need to apologize you and the other moderators do a wonderful job on a wonderful site, sure things come up that can and do hit a nerve on occasion with some but for the most part it's miminal and I think everyone here is trying to add support and information for those of us affected by Pca. If we all follow the golden rule of treat others as you would like to be treated we will all be fine. I don't take things personal and let water run off a ducks back so as to speak.
Keep up the good work you along with so many others provide, you all are a big reason this site is so good.

Age 49, PSA 6.22 on 9-26-06
Biopsy 11-01-06, 2 of 13 cores 10% cancer, 2 other cores abnormal Up-dated 20% prostate cancerous
Gleason score 3+3=6 After Surgery Pathology report 4+3=7 a couple agressive Grade 5 cells found
Da Vinci surgery 01-09-07 UW Madison
Pathology Report- cancer 100 % capsual contained 1-18-07
1st & 2nd Post PSA Blood Test .1 and less - Undetectable
3nd Post PSA Blood Test 01-17-07 .3
March 27th PSA .4 Begin Salvage Radiation April, 14 2008
Incontenence-Pad free since end of May 07 4 1/2 months post surgery 
ED back to 95% prior to surgery - no medication required.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 5/30/2008 11:56 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Tony,

I just read the post in question, and I don't see a need for you to apologize. Sometimes people need that little "slap on the wrist" to remind them what this forum is about

Because of the nature of this specific forum, it can at times be challenging to ensure that the contents are always "family-oriented". However, if anyone is defaming another member, well that shouldn't be tolerated.

Although this is a wonderful forum, let's face it - we really don't want to be here. We're here because we have one thing in common in our lives - PCA. But fortunately, it has led us here with wonderful members who are willing to share their feelings and experiences. 

"Keep the faith, brother"




Age: 51
Last PSA before diagnosis: 2.9
Diagnosed: Oct 2007
Gleason: 3+3=6
RALP surgery: Jan 23, 2008 (Dr Costas Lallas @ Thomas Jefferson Hospital in Philadelphia)
1st Post-op appt: Feb 1, 2008 (negative margins, cancer contained within the capsule)
1st PSA post-op: May 23, 2008 - <0.1 undetectable

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 1211
   Posted 5/30/2008 1:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tony,

I'm proud of you! It takes a big man to be able to look past ones own believes and convictions to see the other persons point of view and acknowledge it's validity.
Thank you for being willing to be the Moderator for our forum. I know it can be a difficult job at times, but you seam to be able to handle it well.

All the best to you.

Born Sept., 1936
PSA 7.9
Stage T1C
-ve DRE
Gleason's Score 3+4=7
2 of 8 positive
Open RP 28 Nov 06
Post op staging T3
Gleasons still 3+4=7
Seminal vesicles and lymph nodes clear
Catheter out 15 Dec 06
Dry since 11 Feb 07
All PSA tests in 2007 (4) <.04
PSA test Mar., 08 =.04 

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 308
   Posted 5/30/2008 4:38 PM (GMT -6)   
This type of thing is going to happen.  Look at the ingredients of this forum, anger, fear, faith, religion, science, hope, dispair and the over powering desire of all of us to help others through our own experiences.  We will not always agree with each other in the things we say, we are only human.  But all of us know very well that with out rules this wonderful site will fail and all of us now and those that follow will be thrust into darkness.  I have visited several other sites.  This is by far, by far the most helpful to me.
My secret to life is having the wisdom and common sense to know the Difference between Chicken Sh_t and Chicken Salad.  When we forget this basic difference, all is soon to be lost.
In support,
Diagnosed 01-08-08 @ 53 years old 
DRE normal - High PSA for 5 or more years
2004 Biospy negative - 2008 Biopsy positive (01-08-08)
10 cores, 1 positive and at 1% of that one core
Current PSA 6 - Bone and Ct scans negative
clinicalg Staged at T1C - Gleason 3+3 = 6
Robotic Da Vinci performed March 27th, 2008
University of Chicago,5 hour surgery , 3 hour recovery
Unexpected Cardiac issues appear and disappear?
Hospital stay 30 hours - Catheter out in 7 days  normaly expected leakage - Erectile funtion back on line 9 days 
Post Pathology T2C, Gleason 7, 10 % of both portions of prostate, Seminal vessels clear, fat tissue clear,Tumor on top of prostate distal from apex. 1 positve margin at urethra and bladder.
Six week PSA < 0.05 Ya Ba Da Ba Dooooooooooo.  Put a steak on the grill Wilma!!!!
Oncologist to discuss case with Urologist and Radiation Oncologist to consider radiation.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 5/30/2008 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   

Forum Friends,


Having been a part of the beginnings of the resent… “issues” ~ I’ve moved my previous posting from 5-22-08….here along with Tony’s…..


For those members who were affected by this.  This was and is for you!   


Lee posted this 5-22-08 on a previous thread….


This is one time I do feel strongly that I let my own personal emotions get in the way here.....  I am a member 1st and a moderator 2nd.  I do apologize to all members for not following my own rule of thumb.  As a moderator...Read a post, step back from it and re-visit it in a better frame of mind.  I did not do this.  I also did not read page 1... (another no-no). I send an extra apology to Tony.  Had I read the 1st page and seen Tony's posting... I know for a fact that I would not have posted.  Especially knowing that I was leaving at the end of the month.  Again ~ my mistake. 


HealingWell is a great forum and it has great people who give so much!!!




Having decided to leave before any of the "resent issues" made me happy knowing I was leaving on a positive note (song)... chirp~chirp~chirp


Knowing that I was part of the "cause" as I stated in my posting to forum friends in my own apology (re-posted here…above).... it makes me very sad.


Take care one and all ~ as we “all” move to different stepping-stones on the path that we find in Our Journey. 

This is closure for me….

Thank you for friendships made ~ along the way…..


In Friendship ~ Lee

v       bluebird ~  Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum

June 12, 2007 through June 1, 2008

Member since May 2006



  tongue   For Newbies….

     You’ve found a special place with new friends here @

mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy… from North Carolina


v          We invite you to visit our personal thread:  Click Here:  “Our Journey” ~ Sharing is Caring 

April 3, 2006  53 on surgery day

RRP / Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy

PSA 4.6   Gleason  3+3=6    T2a   Confined to Prostate

4th PSA 2-13-2008 (23 months) Less than 0.1 Non-Detectable :)

Post Edited (bluebird) : 6/7/2008 8:58:54 AM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 5/30/2008 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   

Being a moderator is a hard job on any forum. Being a moderator on a forum with such an emotional issue and such personal revelations is doubly difficult, I'm sure. Feathers will be ruffled from time to time, even if you don't moderate anything (someone will complain you're letting posters run amok). So all you can do is your best and your post indicates that exactly what you are doing.

Age 59 - diagnosed in Jan. 08 after biopsy
da Vinci Robotic Prostatectomy 4/11/08 - both nerves spared
Catheter removed 4/25/08
Prostate Pathology:
Gleason Grade 6 (3+3)
Apex: neg
Base: positive (tumor present at right and left base)
Peripheral Margins: neg
No extra postatic extension seen
Tumor corresponds to a AJCC/pTMN stage II
High-grade HGPIN present
Continence: 1 pad night, 2 during day

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 422
   Posted 5/30/2008 8:44 PM (GMT -6)   

Tony I went through this a couple of months... mabe three now.  I was seeking asnswers about an artificial sphincter when a medical professional came on.  He was a great resource, but his being on the forum broke the rules and then he was gone along with some of the posts which contained questions to him.  I angrily responded and left the foum.  I never hade peace about my outburst... I too am a believer... the Lord would not let me rest.  I still am not certain I apologized correctly, but I attempted.  And again, I re-attempt to apologize to the administration and moderators. 

Especially for those of us whose cancer is advanced and/or those of us who remain incontinent after trying everything we know to do, the issues are extremely emotional and reactionary, even for one who has trusted Christ.  I am trying to go on on this board with information I have now gained, in spite of the fact that other health issues have prevented me from having the surgeries.  Now although many of those who are still severely incontinent after months and months post operation may have left the board. 

It's been my intent to chronicle my journey in receiving the AUS to help others here.  I hope I can help and... again... forgive my outbursts too.  Thanks Tony for your determination to help others and please the Lord.


Radical open removal 2-14-07, Gleason 3+3=6
Removal of stricture 6-07, incontinence continues
Bio-feedback (4) 08-07 (no improvement)
Scheduled for AUS & implant 05-08
Surgeon cancelled one day pre-surgery.
EKG at primary care doctor...he didn't like what he saw
Nuclear stress 5/13/08
Heart cath scheduled for 5/27
63 years old at time of nerve-sparing surgery

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1219
   Posted 5/30/2008 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   

You know how I feel. You're doing a great job.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 741
   Posted 5/30/2008 9:20 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Tony,

You owe no apology.  I admire your personal courage and your devotion to this forum and to those who suffer.  As I write this I am in tears having read Jim's latest post.  You and your fellow moderators are very important.  Please don't be discouraged.



August of 2006, PSA up to 4.2 from 2.7 one year ago. 
October free and total PSA 12% free and 5.0 total.
A month, or so later, 4.7.
Late in the year decide on Image Guided IMRT.
Begin 43 treatments on January 23, 2007 and finish on March 23.
Four month post treatment PSA is 1.9.
Seven month PSA is 0.8.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 5/30/2008 11:08 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Tony,

You are a true “gentle”man and it comes through in each post.  A man who cares deeply…  With everything you have on your plate…. We appreciate being a slice of your daily pie.  Your heartfelt words touch our hearts.  Thank you for the gentle push forward onto a new stepping-stone for all of us. 

HealingWell is like a compass…. And you are the gravitational force we need to guide us.  Thanks for keeping us together….with your ~ Fairness.  Patience.  Honesty. & Caring.

In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 621
   Posted 5/30/2008 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Tony . . all will be fine . . you are doing a great job and are the best.

;o) Linda & Bob

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 5/31/2008 12:49 AM (GMT -6)   
My heart is warmed by several posts here, but it is a heavy and empty heart. Possible? You all Know why. Biker Jim is my friend and I am speechless in wake of his announcement. There are some posts here that would have put me on cloud 9. From those who were not sure of my honestly sincere intentions. And I will appreciate them. But not tonight.

But we are all together tonight for Jim. I have no speach to give other than my prayers. My motto is stay positive. I will. Suddenly my disease is irrelavant tonight. So I will will all of my Stay Positive power to those with these challenges. To Jim and MaryLu. Our friends.

Sincerely, and in prayer,

Age 45 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
Prostate Cancer Forum Moderator

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 847
   Posted 5/31/2008 6:03 AM (GMT -6)   
It's a tough job being a moderator, and you did the best you could in trying circumstances. Jim's sad news makes me even more aware of how petty this whole thing has been.

And I apologize too for being one of the trouble-makers.
Age 63. Other than cancer, in good health; BMI 20
Pre-op: No symptoms; PSA 5.7; Gleason 4+5=9; cancer in 4 of 12 cores
7 March 2008, RRP, non nerve sparing
Two nights in hospital; catheter and staples out after 7 days
Continent, no pads needed from the get-go
Post Op: Stage pT2 M- N-; clear margins and lymph nodes; Gleason 4+4=8; prostate weight: 37gm
6-week PSA: 0 

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