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My Sincerist Apologies to the Forum

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Posted 5/29/2008 10:59 PM (GMT -8)
Being a Moderator here requires restraint.  Fairness.  Patience.  Lot's of time.  And it also requires tolerance.  This week I got only one right.  Lot's of time ~ spent avoiding the other four.  I have to respect those of all beliefs, but still be committed to the rules of the forum and walk the fine line of enforcing them.   

Being a Christian requires requires the same from me for my brothers ~ all of them ~ at a higher level, and the ability to turn the other cheek.  It's hard to control emotions when those I Love are hurt by others I Love.  My original post "Attention Forum Members ~ Like Now!" called out a brother.  I may never see eye to eye with the individual I offended.  My anger allowed me to avoid my religious responsibilities and my common sense.  I have always said I am never more than a student in life.  No matter what I know there is always something to learn that will make me a wiser man. 

My sincerest apologies to my brethren here.  I ask and give forgiveness.

Tony

 

Posted 5/30/2008 12:35 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Tony,

Now that.... is a coincidence. I just flicked off an email to you and now reading your post now, all I can say as one of those longer term members, is that I feel you have nothing to apologise for at all. My husband and I have the greatest admiration for how you handled on-line a very difficult situation recently, and we feel you handled it with (as I said in my private email) dignity and strength. Sometimes, it is good to reflect on how we might have handed things differently - we (CJ and I) do this constantly - but in our opinion Tony - you have nothing to apologise for right now. Your best is your best, and in this instance in the last week - it has been truly appreciated by us as two long term (can I say that now although limited posts in 17 months??) members.

We do not post to others forums as a rule (although I have posted one well received and answered, informative question on the breast ca forum) so we really rely on this one, and all its members on a daily basis. We reckon you have done just great - in every way...

PS. Our 12 month appointment yesterday for CJ was "all clear" - Specialist was pleased with 12 montly progress all around - now 6 monthly  PSA's for next 12 months then annual - Specialist does not expect reoccurance - we are pleased. Lets get back to the real point of the forum as Walt said recently. THIS IS OUR GOOD NEWS for today.

 

Thanks Tony for all you do. You have nothing to apologise for and everything to be thanked for,  in our opinions. Take good care of you.     :-) Lana & CJ

Posted 5/30/2008 1:58 AM (GMT -8)

Thank you Lana & CJ,
Walt (War-eagle) made a truly great point.  (please see his post).  This whole thing is trivial in the course of things, and it required consideration of every perspective.  I have my side of my story, I stand unwaivered in it, but I let it go, I have to.  This caused a disruption, and I needed to handle it with less drama.  These people are special to my heart. I don't think anybody wanted this escalated the way it was.  Right or wrong, I was a part of that. 

Tony

Posted 5/30/2008 2:10 AM (GMT -8)
I am not sure what happened, but I will say I am proud of you Tony.
I stand firm by my christian beliefs even though someone here in the forum thanks otherwise and that is ok, we should and do respect all of our brothers and sisters.

peace and love
Dale
Posted 5/30/2008 6:44 AM (GMT -8)
Tony

No need to apologize you and the other moderators do a wonderful job on a wonderful site, sure things come up that can and do hit a nerve on occasion with some but for the most part it's miminal and I think everyone here is trying to add support and information for those of us affected by Pca. If we all follow the golden rule of treat others as you would like to be treated we will all be fine. I don't take things personal and let water run off a ducks back so as to speak.
Keep up the good work you along with so many others provide, you all are a big reason this site is so good.

Norskie
Posted 5/30/2008 8:56 AM (GMT -8)

Hi Tony,

I just read the post in question, and I don't see a need for you to apologize. Sometimes people need that little "slap on the wrist" to remind them what this forum is about. 

Because of the nature of this specific forum, it can at times be challenging to ensure that the contents are always "family-oriented". However, if anyone is defaming another member, well that shouldn't be tolerated.

Although this is a wonderful forum, let's face it - we really don't want to be here. We're here because we have one thing in common in our lives - PCA. But fortunately, it has led us here with wonderful members who are willing to share their feelings and experiences. 

"Keep the faith, brother"

Phillysub

Posted 5/30/2008 10:07 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Tony,

I'm proud of you! It takes a big man to be able to look past ones own believes and convictions to see the other persons point of view and acknowledge it's validity.
Thank you for being willing to be the Moderator for our forum. I know it can be a difficult job at times, but you seam to be able to handle it well.

All the best to you.

Magaboo
Posted 5/30/2008 1:38 PM (GMT -8)
Tony,

This type of thing is going to happen.  Look at the ingredients of this forum, anger, fear, faith, religion, science, hope, dispair and the over powering desire of all of us to help others through our own experiences.  We will not always agree with each other in the things we say, we are only human.  But all of us know very well that with out rules this wonderful site will fail and all of us now and those that follow will be thrust into darkness.  I have visited several other sites.  This is by far, by far the most helpful to me.

My secret to life is having the wisdom and common sense to know the Difference between Chicken Sh_t and Chicken Salad.  When we forget this basic difference, all is soon to be lost.

In support,

Frank

 

Posted 5/30/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -8)
Forum Friends,   Having been a part of the beginnings of the resent… “issues” ~ I’ve moved my previous posting from 5-22-08….here along with Tony’s…..   For those members who were affected by this.   This was and is for you!       Lee posted this 5-22-08 on a previous thread….   This is one time I do feel strongly that I let my own personal emotions get in the way here.....  I am a member 1st and a moderator 2nd.  I do apologize to all members for not following my own rule of thumb.  As a moderator...Read a post, step back from it and re-visit it in a better frame of mind.  I did not do this.  I also did not read page 1... (another no-no). I send an extra apology to Tony .  Had I read the 1st page and seen Tony's posting... I know for a fact that I would not have posted.   Especially knowing that I was leaving at the end of the month.  Again ~ my mistake.    HealingWell is a great forum and it has great people who give so much!!!     5-30-08 Having decided to leave before any of the "resent issues" made me happy knowing I was leaving on a positive note (song)... chirp~chirp~chirp   Knowing that I was part of the "cause" as I stated in my posting to forum friends in my own apology (re-posted here…above).... it makes me very sad.   Take care one and all ~ as we “all” move to different stepping-stones on the path that we find in Our Journey.   This is closure for me…. Thank you for friendships made ~ along the way…..   In Friendship ~ Lee v        bluebird ~   Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum June 12, 2007 through June 1, 2008 Member since May 2006         For Newbies….      You’ve found a special place with new friends here @ HealingWell.com
Posted 5/30/2008 4:57 PM (GMT -8)
Tony,

Being a moderator is a hard job on any forum. Being a moderator on a forum with such an emotional issue and such personal revelations is doubly difficult, I'm sure. Feathers will be ruffled from time to time, even if you don't moderate anything (someone will complain you're letting posters run amok). So all you can do is your best and your post indicates that exactly what you are doing.

Wayne
Posted 5/30/2008 5:44 PM (GMT -8)

Tony I went through this a couple of months... mabe three now.  I was seeking asnswers about an artificial sphincter when a medical professional came on.  He was a great resource, but his being on the forum broke the rules and then he was gone along with some of the posts which contained questions to him.  I angrily responded and left the foum.  I never hade peace about my outburst... I too am a believer... the Lord would not let me rest.  I still am not certain I apologized correctly, but I attempted.  And again, I re-attempt to apologize to the administration and moderators. 

Especially for those of us whose cancer is advanced and/or those of us who remain incontinent after trying everything we know to do, the issues are extremely emotional and reactionary, even for one who has trusted Christ.  I am trying to go on on this board with information I have now gained, in spite of the fact that other health issues have prevented me from having the surgeries.  Now although many of those who are still severely incontinent after months and months post operation may have left the board. 

It's been my intent to chronicle my journey in receiving the AUS to help others here.  I hope I can help and... again... forgive my outbursts too.  Thanks Tony for your determination to help others and please the Lord.

Gene214

Posted 5/30/2008 5:57 PM (GMT -8)
Tony,

You know how I feel. You're doing a great job.

Susan
Posted 5/30/2008 6:20 PM (GMT -8)

Dear Tony,

You owe no apology.  I admire your personal courage and your devotion to this forum and to those who suffer.  As I write this I am in tears having read Jim's latest post.  You and your fellow moderators are very important.  Please don't be discouraged.

Regards,

Bill

Posted 5/30/2008 8:08 PM (GMT -8)

Dear Tony,

You are a true “gentle”man and it comes through in each post.  A man who cares deeply…  With everything you have on your plate…. We appreciate being a slice of your daily pie.  Your heartfelt words touch our hearts.  Thank you for the gentle push forward onto a new stepping-stone for all of us. 

HealingWell is like a compass…. And you are the gravitational force we need to guide us.  Thanks for keeping us together….with your ~ Fairness.  Patience.  Honesty. & Caring.

In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

Posted 5/30/2008 8:11 PM (GMT -8)

Tony . . all will be fine . . you are doing a great job and are the best.

;o) Linda & Bob

Posted 5/30/2008 9:49 PM (GMT -8)
My heart is warmed by several posts here, but it is a heavy and empty heart. Possible? You all Know why. Biker Jim is my friend and I am speechless in wake of his announcement. There are some posts here that would have put me on cloud 9. From those who were not sure of my honestly sincere intentions. And I will appreciate them. But not tonight.

But we are all together tonight for Jim. I have no speach to give other than my prayers. My motto is stay positive. I will. Suddenly my disease is irrelavant tonight. So I will will all of my Stay Positive power to those with these challenges. To Jim and MaryLu. Our friends.

Sincerely, and in prayer,

Tony
Posted 5/31/2008 3:03 AM (GMT -8)
Tony,
It's a tough job being a moderator, and you did the best you could in trying circumstances. Jim's sad news makes me even more aware of how petty this whole thing has been.

And I apologize too for being one of the trouble-makers.
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