Question bout Prostate Problems

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/21/2008 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Im new here I am posting for my Husband who is currently at work. He has a Problem w/ keeping a Erection during sex and sometimes possibly even getting one. During Foreplay it can take upwards of 1-hr to get him remotely close to a erection when used to about a yr ago take 5 mins. From the transition to intercourse he looses his Erection and goes limp and have to start all over. When he finally gets another Erection and inserts it after bout 20 mins he looses it again and cannot Ejaculate it is very discouraging for him. I hate to see him go thru so much at a young age I am 22 and he is 26 we have 4 wonderful children and I dont want to see our Sex life go down cause of this. What is ur recommendation to do or idea We have no insurance and cannot see a doctor;;

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 847
   Posted 6/21/2008 7:21 PM (GMT -6)   
The good news is that given his age of 26, it is most unlikely your hubby has prostate cancer. Nor do the symptoms you describe indicate a prostate problem. (Caution, I am not a doctor!)
What he has is Erectile Dysfunction, (ED) a quite common problem that has various forms. Unfortunately, though most of us here have ED, the forum rules prevent us discussing it in any detail.
There are many general purpose ED forums where you may get a better response to your question. Two that I hang out on are:

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 211
   Posted 6/21/2008 7:33 PM (GMT -6)   

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry overly about this aspect because if you put too much stress on yourselves it will only exasperate your situation.

Most men experience erection problems at some stage of their life and often it's a temporary thing with no obvious cause:

Don't have any expectations or put any more pressure on him to perform, tell him you feel happy to have a nice hug and try to feel more relaxed about your intimacy without necessarily worrying about ejaculation.

If it's a usual temporary situation, this approach could help, &/or you could also try viagra or similar (small amount at first) to help get things going again.

There are a number of other factors that can contribute to erection problems: stress (relationship, family, work etc),  and physical problems like weight gain, diabities, lifestyle, poor circulation, smoking, alcohol causing "brewers' droop".

Most stress and health issues can be assisted by lifestyle changes, diet, moderate exercise etc.

Especially if there's potential for any underlying physical problem, you will need to obtain medical advice.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 6/22/2008 12:54 AM (GMT -6)   
It is not unusual when this happens for even a young man to become fixed on his mechanical workings rather than the mood once he has had the experience of not gaining or losing an erection before or during sex. Once this occurs he may become a little obsessed with waiting and watching for a physical response and that is self defeating and the cycle may continue and be self fulfilling. Rather than having his mind on the fun of the foreplay he may be concentrating on the effect the foreplay should be having on him and this is a recipe for failure. Once he can break the cycle and thoughts of what may or may not happen he will be up and away again. First step though is to get checked by a medico as it may really undermine his confidence.
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07----4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.1 undetectable

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/22/2008 4:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the responses. When this all started I told him Sex isnt everything and not to worry about if he doesnt keep his erection or ejaculate. I told him their is other ways of pleasure and more to our marriage we can focus on than just those things. I will look into the ED forums. I have been trying to talk to him about looking into other things for this to try to help but he just wont have it. I understand his discomfort w/ it cause it makes him feel he cannot please me. He isnt a Drinker or a smoker he hasnt gained no weight Our life is Mostly stress free and nothing in our lives has changed so i dont understand why all of a sudden it came up;;

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 176
   Posted 6/23/2008 10:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Hmmmmmm. Just some observations. In your last post you say " Our life is Mostly stress free and nothing in our lives has changed so i dont understand why all of a sudden it came up" but you also indicate in your first post that you are 22 yo with 4 children.  So I might suggest that lots has changed in the last 5 years of your life and that maybe you are underestimating the stress in yours and your husband's life.  If your numbers are not typos and your concern is real, be aware that 4 children at your young age is a lot to manage for both of you. 

42 yo. now
5/07 PSA 4.65 at routine physical
6/07 biopsy positive for cancer...Gleason 3+4...diagnosed at 41 y.o.
6/07-9/07 manic research and interviews with physicians across the country in search of the "right" decision.  I went to Mass General in Boston, Loma Linda, University of Chicago and Northwestern.
9/17/07 - Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy Surgery at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago by Dr. William Catalona.  Thankful the father of the PSA test was right here in Chicago.
Post op pathology was Gleason 3+4 with negative margins, no seminal vesicale involvement, no lymphatic or vascular invasion, bladder and urethral free and tumor volume was 5% of 27.3g.  
9/27/07 - Catheter removal...let the games begin...
12/07 - Threw out the pads.  I only had to use 1 pad per day for protection against minor drips. 
I started Trimix 8 weeks after surgery with success.
I hope someday I won't need injections, but I hope more that my PSA stays at 0 forever.

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