Tough Call ~ But I am stepping back!

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Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 7/3/2008 2:18 PM (GMT -6)   
mad
Stepping Back.
When I came here, I seriously believe that this site prepared me, and pulled me through the toughest time of my life, and it still is pulling.  I continue to benefit from the caring and loving support of so many members.  As a member, things are great here.  As a Moderator they haven't always worked out quite as well.  In light of the fact that so many of you are my friends, and that so many of you I have experience to help with, I have requested to be simply a member.  As long as I carry the Forum Moderator tag I am finding it increasingly difficult to maintain the support that I need as a man with advanced prostate cancer.  There are many times as Moderator that I have felt anguish and discontent directed at me, and many times I tried to let it go.  But it's time for me to move on now.  I've had to hang in the balance my dedication to be fair to all here against my friendships in the membership.  As a member, I don't have to do that.  Quite frankly, it brings a tear to my eyes, that I somehow have brought this on myself.  Please don't hold any members in any way responsible for my decision.  It is my own and I have felt this way for some time. 
 
I have a request though.
The Moderators here have a very difficult job to do.  I highly believe that unless you've tried it, you don't understand what they feel.  They are members just like you and me.  They can't do this job to everyones satisfaction.  That's not even possible.  If I ever made a statement that violated a rule, it should be brought to my attention, and if I didn't fix it, the Mods should excercise the rules.  The best tool a moderator has is your email addresses.  It provides an opportunity to take the discussion offline and present the possibility for reconsideration from the poster.  In any case, I have listed the rules link below.  If you haven't already, please read them, and don't be upset when a moderator simply has to apply them.  The Mods are people, and they may try to overlook them from time to time.  There are allowable exceptions.  And there is human error.  It's always a tough call, and it affects the moderator many times personally.  So along with your feelings, please consider what they feel, too.
 
Forum Rules
 
A Very Big Thank You.
You are my friends and I really may need you in the future.  I hope I can just be a member with you all again.
 
Tony
Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
And at:
 
STAY POSITIVE!
 
Prostate Cancer Forum Moderator


Roger G
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 7/3/2008 4:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony,

Sorry to hear you a taking off the moderators hat. Wether a moderator, or a simple member like the rest of us you will always have our support.

Roger
Age: 43 (2008)
DRE Small Ridge on prostate, PSA 1.5
07/2007: Diagnosed cancer, T2c, Gleason 3+4=7
09/2007: Laparoscopic prostectomy @ Hamilton General, 4 hrs.
              Both nerve bundles spared
              Pathology Report: Tumor confined w/in prostate
              T2c, Gleason is 3+3=6
              Went home with JP drain
10/2007: Made return trip to hospital.  All urine was comming out JP drain.
10/2007: Catheter removed. Next to no leakage
11/2007: 1st PSA <.003 :)
              ED: Started Viagra, no response yet.
12/2007: Had confidence to go padless!!!!!
12/2007: ED:  Stopped Viagra as it's causing hemroid problems.
01/2008: 2nd PSA <.003 :)
              ED: next to no response.
04/2008: 3nd PSA <.003 :)
              ED: next to no response.  Changed the Viagra prescription.
 


jetguy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 741
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:12 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Tony,

I am sorry that you will no longer be a moderator, but I can't say that I blame you.  Since I joined this site in the second half of 2006, this place has grown more volatile and aggressive.  I attribute much of that to more guys with aggressive disease and more side effects from their treatment.  It is natural that less happy outcomes would cause more sharp reactions to other sharp posts.  I also have other opinions as to cause, but they are not relevant to here.

Keep Your Mach Up and please, please don't leave us.  Your value as only (only?) a member is considerable.

Regards,

Bill


August of 2006, PSA up to 4.2 from 2.7 one year ago. 
October free and total PSA 12% free and 5.0 total.
A month, or so later, 4.7.
Late in the year decide on Image Guided IMRT.
Begin 43 treatments on January 23, 2007 and finish on March 23.
Four month post treatment PSA is 1.9.
Seven month PSA is 0.8.


BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony,
I am sorry to hear that you are stepping down from your moderators position.............you have handled what is usually a thankless task with fairness and compassion. There will always be the occasional flare-up, that is human nature, and as others have said may be due in part to the stress or side effects of a members current treatment or misdirected anger. Often being in the middle of two members with opposing points of view is a no-win situation no matter how fair you try to be. I have always found your posts as both a member and a moderator exceedingly helpful and thoughtful. A very big "THANK YOU"
Bill
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07----4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.1 undetectable


soxfans4life
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony, oooooh wow. We are fairly new here and always felt like we could trust and look forward to your thoughts. We understand how hard this all must be, just thank you so much and know that our thoughts and prayers are with you every day. Sometimes we don't know what to ask or say in this forum because everyone has such different problems; but somehow we are not so separated in our needs. Thank you again for making each day of the last 2 months so much easier. Looking forward to hearing how you are doing. We do care, Rod & Annie
dx. 3-08  @ age 63. gleason 6 . 1 out of 12 cores positive. 4th biopsy in 8 years. previous 3 negative. followed closely due to family hx.grandfather, father and 2 uncles dx. with prostate cancer. dre negative, cat and bone scan negative. davinci scheduled for may 27, 2008. 2 daughters, retired hospital administration, air force family years ago. Davinci on May28,2008, both nerves spared. Catheter removed in 8 days, pathology report revealed precancerous lesions. Presurgical psa was 5.9, 1st  psa scheduled for August.


DanielleS
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 7/3/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony, I will miss you as moderator but can completely understand your position.  I hope you will continue to be a very active member.  We want to be here for you as you have been for so many of us. 

livinadream
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 7/3/2008 7:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Great decision Tony, glad to have you back as a member. I think you were a great moderator, however I believe your worth to us here is as a member. You have so much love, compassion, heart and soul, and now it can come out. Healing Well is blessed to have had you as a moderator and now as a member. I look forward to reading your post. Lets fight this metastatic demon together.

peace and much love
Dale
My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 46 (current)
My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
Casodex
Currently on Lupron
I go to The Cancer Treatment Center of America
Married with two kids
latest PSA 5-27-08 0.11
cancer in 4 of 6 cores
92%
80%
37%
28%
 


Magaboo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 1211
   Posted 7/3/2008 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tony,

I'm sorry to read that you will no longer be our moderator. I have always thought that you did a wonderful job and I know that your replacement will have a tough job following in your footsteps.
I just wanted to thank you for handling the job so well for us for so long - Thank you.
At least we will still have you as a valuable member that can give guidance and advise when called up on.
I'm wishing you well in your battle with this disease and I know that you will win in the end

Magaboo
Born Sept., 1936
PSA 7.9
Stage T1C
-ve DRE
Gleason's Score 3+4=7
2 of 8 positive
open RP 28 Nov 06
Post op staging T3a
Gleasons still 3+4=7
Seminal vesicles and lymph nodes clear
Catheter out 15 Dec 06
Dry since 11 Feb 07
All PSA tests in 2007 (4) <.04
PSA tests in 2008: Mar.=.04; Jun.=.05


smilingoldcoot
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 338
   Posted 7/3/2008 8:23 PM (GMT -6)   

Tony my Brother

You were, you are, and will be a member here as long as you so choose.  Being a moderator is not an easy task in any forum.  Being a moderator when you are also affected by the subject matter makes it more difficult.  I think no less of you today than I ever did.  I cherrish your friendship and respect your decisions. 

Hold you head high.

God Bless

Richard yeah tongue yeah


Retired USAF Richard & Debbie on The Shores of Toledo Bend Lake Louisiana
Biospy 1/10/08 Gleason 10, Stage T1C  8 of 12 samples positive all Less Than 5% 
Jan & Feb & Mar all tests clear
MD Anderson = No surgery and No Proton only Hormone and IMRT
Contacted with Loma Linda and UFPTI in FL
Started Treatment at the U of Florida Proton Therapy Institute in April 2008
May 2, 2008 LUPRON & Casodex
IMRT to started  5/27/2008 Will get 42 treatments 25 IMRT and then 17 Proton
Turn Stumbling Blocks into Steping Stones and Keep Smiling
Our Journey is on WWW.GLEASON10.COM
 


hopemylove
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 7/3/2008 8:42 PM (GMT -6)   

I agree completely with Dale and will continue to keep you in my prayers as you continue to fight this disease. You are an important voice in this forum, as well as others, for getting the word out about this cancer and for the support and compassion you give to all. You are of great value in any role you feel is in your best interest--moderator or member.

May God bless you and yours,

Karen eyes


Karen--New York
Husbands Info:
Age of diagnosis--62
2/28/08--PSA 279   DRE--positive/rock hard
Flomax and Casadex started
Biopsy--3/7/08--187cc--Gleason 10--12 of 12 positive--Perineural and LV invasion identified
T4 bone met.--hydroureteronephrosis/right kidney
3/28/08--Lupron Inj. started
4/7/08--Zometa IV started
5/15/08--PSA 12
5/20/08--Tubes placed in kidneys (through back)
5/21/08--diagnosed Neuro Endocrine Prostate carcinoma
5/28-30/08--1st round Chemo
6/18-20/08--2nd round Chemo
 
 
 


VaFan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 203
   Posted 7/3/2008 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony,
Most of the time I don't pay much attention to some of the "problems" on the forum because I know I am not responsible. I can't imagine going thru what you are and having to moderate too. It must be so frustrating. You need to take some time to step back and think about you and your family and what you need. Take a break. Breathe. And thank you for all of your help and support. You have always, ALWAYS been there for us and we thank you so much
Cindy
Age 51 Kent Cindy 49
January 08 PSA 5.2 round of antibiotics went to 4.3
February 08 another round of antibiotics went to 4.2
March 17,08 had biopsy, 2 days later told cancer was on
one entire side of prostate.
Gleason 3+3
Doctor thinks its best to get the whole prostate with Perineal  Prostatectomy.
Surgery scheduled for this Thursday April 10th. Only took 1 1/2 hours. In recovery 1 hour.  Both nerves were spared.
Home 4-11. Cath out 4-22. Incision looks completly healed on the outside by 4-25.  Incontinence "a thing of the past" as of 5-28
lst PSA 0.04 June 3. YAY!!!
viagra up to 100 a day and feeling some change. Keep our fingers crossed.


kw
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 883
   Posted 7/3/2008 10:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Tony... Don't feel bad. I just resigned from the president of our HOA after 6 years. Jobs like that are mostly thankless. We look forward to seeing you here as a member.

hang in there.

KW
    43 at Dx and Surgery
    PSA 5.7, Biopsy 3 of 12 positive (up to 75%) all on left side of prostate, Gleason 7
    RRP on Oct. 17, 2006 - Nerves on right side saved. All Lab's clear. 
    Cathiter in for 28 days due to complications in healing. Removed Nov. 9, 2006
    First Post op PSA on Dec. 11, 2006  Undetectable 0.00.
    ED workable and usable with Viagra.
    Feb. 20th, 2007 - Feb. 4th, 2008  Cystoscope, Two Collagen injections,Second Opinion Consultation for Incontinance at OU Medical Center, Bio-Feedback training, Chiropractic, Accupuncture  to try to resolve ongoing incontinance (4-6 pads a day)  All PSA's 0.00.
    Feb. 22nd, 2008 - Surgery to install the AMS AdVance Male Sling.
    March 27th, 2008 - Sling not working, Little or no improvement.
    April 18, 2008 - Collagen injection.  Back to using 4-6 full pads a day within a week.
    May 14, 2008 - Another collagen injection to try to Band-Aid the leaking for our June cruise.  Will start making conusultation appiontments for AUS after we return.
 
     


Paul1959
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 598
   Posted 7/3/2008 11:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Yahoo - Tony. Great call. Thanks for being a great example of taking care of yourself in all this. It's great to give, but not at your own expense. Glad you did it before you got burned out by the site entirely. You deserve (and your family deserves) your primary goal to be your own healing. You have god given wisdom, Thanks for using it.
Paul
47 at Diagnosis.
Father died of Pca 4/07 at 86.
1/06 PSA 3.15
1/07 PSA 4.6      (Biopsy 3/07 just suspicious)
10/07 PSA 5.06   (Biopsy 11/07  1 of 12 with 8% involvment) (1mm)
Da Vinci surgery Jan 5, '08 at Mt. Sinai Hosp. NYC  www.roboticoncology.com
Saved both nerve bundles.
Path Report:  Stage T2cNxMx
-Gleason (3+3)6
-totally contained to prostate,
-10% involvement in L & R Mid lobes
PSA 0 at six weeks
Pad free on March 14 - (10 weeks.)
ED - Take 100mg viagra every night.
Totally usable erections at 10 weeks.
 
 


anniea
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 234
   Posted 7/3/2008 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Tony,

I knew that you were a moderator, however you and I talked before and during the time you were a moderator and truthfully, I always thought of you as a caring friend. I know its not easy to be in a position like that and I must say I admire people who have the ability to step up to those positions. Thank you for all the support you give to this site as a member and as a moderator. You will always be Tony a friend at HW.

 

Love

Diana


Rick & Diana
Age 68/ 67@ Dx
6-30-06  PSA 2.54
1-22-07  PSA 4.98
1-26-07  PSA 5.09
Diag: 2-14-07 Gleason 8 Stage T1c PSA 5.09
Bone Scan 3-1-07 Clear
3-6-07 Triple Spinal Fusion (due to old back injury)
Radical retropubic surgery 4-2-07  Post surgery Gleason 9 Stage T3a Positive margins
4-29-07 PSA 0.02
6-9-07   PSA 0.02
7-6-07   PSA 0.03
8-1-07   CT Scan & Chest X-Ray   Clean
9-26-2007 PSA 0.07
11/1/07 PSA 0.1
11/30/07 PSA 0.12
01/31/2008 PSA 0.3
03/01/2008 PSA 0.3
04/28/08 PSA 0.6
06/18/2008 PSA 0.74
06/24/08 45 mg Eligard 6 mo shot


Dutch
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 400
   Posted 7/4/2008 12:08 AM (GMT -6)   

Tony:

Good decision - you are more valuable to this forum as a member.  Your positive attitude and caring manner can now shine through.  Take care.

Dutch


Diagnosed Feb 2001  (Age 65)  Currently 72
PSA 4.8      Gleason 3+3=6      Stage   T2b
Completed Proton Therapy @ Loma Linda - 2001 - No side effects.  My journey is at: http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=727565
7yr PSA - 0.2
Our responsibility now is to educate men about Pca, PSA and the importance of early detection. 
 
 
 


Tim G
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2366
   Posted 7/4/2008 12:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Tony--As forum moderator you are sometimes between a rock and a hard place.  And as Abe Lincoln put it so concisely:  'You can please some of the people all of the time and you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time. '
 
You've done a terrific job as moderator, Tony, and my hat is off to you!

rob2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/4/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   
i've only been a member of this site for a short time. i have appreciated your comments and words of wisdom. thanks for everything!
 
Age 48
occupation accountant
PSA increased from 2.6 to 3.5 in one year
biopsy march 2008 - cancer present gleason 7
decision - surgery (robotic)
surgery may 9, 2008 - houston, tx
pathology report -gleason 8
margins clear
4 week and 6 week PSA .04 (undetectible)
continence ok during day - 1 pad
night time different story
kegel's twice a day 20 reps


CPA
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 655
   Posted 7/4/2008 8:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for a great job Tony.  We look forward to your continued, caring posts as we fight this battle together.  David

Age 55
Diagnosed Dec 2007 during annual routine physical
PSA doubled from previous year from 1.5 to 3.2
12 biopsies - 2 positive with 2 marginal
Gleason 3 + 3 = 6
RRP 4 Feb 08
Both nerves spared
Good pathology - no margins - all encapsulated - Gleason 4 + 3 = 7
Catheter out Feb 13 - wore pad for couple of days - pad free Feb 16
Great wife and family who take very good care of me


myman
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1219
   Posted 7/4/2008 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony,

In whatever capacity, I'm just glad you're here. We need you & you need us.

I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best,
Susan
Husband Diagnosed 11/17/05 Age: 63 PSA: 7.96 No Symptoms
2/09/06: LRP - Post Pathology - Gleason 4+3 Stage T2b NO MX
3 mo. PSA: 11.8 Stage T3a
6 mo. PSA: 18.8 Stage IV Systemic w/ distant lymph node involvement
Start HT - Lupron 3 mo. shots
12/06/06: PSA 0.8
03/07/07: PSA 0.3
PSA - Undetectable since 6/07/07

Link to journey:
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=826731

Post Edited (myman) : 7/4/2008 8:12:35 PM (GMT-6)


hawkfan75
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 165
   Posted 7/4/2008 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   

Tony

It's too bad that as adults we have to have someone so we don't break the rules.  You've done an excellent job, and I look forward to many more posts from you.  We're so similar in this disease we find ourselves in - I appreciate your input. 


Age 57 at diagnosis,  PSA 4.7 (up from 3.2 one year ago)
Biopsy November 8, 2006 1 of 10 cores positive 5% LEFT Side Gleason 3+3
Robotic surgery January 19, 2007
Post Surgery Pathology Stage T3a, Gleason 3+4, positive margins and capsular penetration RIGHT Side
Post Surgery PSA:  March 5:  0.01    5 month PSA  0.08
Adjuvant therapy began June 26 with Zoladex injection
Radiation began August 23, ended October 8
First post radiation PSA, December 18, 2007:  0;  March 2008 - still 0
 
 


M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 7/5/2008 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony, thanks for everything you did as moderator, but welcome back to being "just" a member. now you can be a friend and concentrate on your own healing. take care and God bless, kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old diagnosed July 27, 2006
PSA 6.5, 2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006
pathology report - all clear - cancer gone
1st post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 2nd post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 3rd PSA <0.1
no more pads Oct 12, 2006
first "real" erection with use of pump 12/16/06
3/07 - occasional dribbles and erections with Cialis and pump
8/07 - 1 yr PSA <0.1
9/1/07 - achieved erection with Viagra - no pump!
3/08 - 18 mo PSA <0.1
switched to Levitra - works much better than Viagra & Cialis - fewer side affects


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 7/5/2008 9:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Ditto Tony...now you can hang with us little guys :>)

Swim
 


mvesr
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 823
   Posted 7/6/2008 9:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony

I have been out of town and away from the computer for a few days when I read about your decision. Thanks for being a great moderator and for all you have done. Take care and I'll be looking for your posts.

Mika
age at dx 54 now 56
psa at dx 4.3
got the bad news 1/29/07
open surgery Duke Medical Center 5-29-07
never more than 2 pads
wear one for insurance now
ED still a problem
last PSA undetectable
 


Doting Daughter
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1064
   Posted 7/6/2008 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Do whatcha gotta do Tony! We love you regardless!
Father's Age 62 (now 63)
Original Gleason 3+4=7, Post-Op Gleason- 4+3=7,
DaVinci Surgery Aug 31, 2007
Focally Positive Right Margin, One positive node. T3a N1 M0.
Bone Scan/CT Negative (Sept. 10, 2007)
Oct. 17 PSA 0.07
Nov. 13 PSA 0.05
Casodex adm. Nov 07, Lupron beg. Dec 03, 2007 2 yrs
Radiation March 03-April 22, 2008- 8 weeks 5x a week
Praying for a cured dad. First PSA 3 months!


Co-Moderator Prostate Cancer Forum


IdahoSurvivor
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/7/2008 12:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Tony,
 
What can we say?... But how sincerely grateful we are for your service!
 
You have always been, and will continue to be, a great inspiration to me and to the rest of us foryour courage and your forever positive attitude.
 
Thank you for all that you have done and for being there for all of us, without fail.
 
Take good care of yourself and know of our love and care for you, my friend.
 
In whatever capacity, we'll all be here for each other.
 
Kind regards,

Barry ~ (a.k.a. "Idaho") - Prostate Cancer Forum Moderator

 

Da Vinci Surgery July 31, 2007… 54 on surgery day
PSA 4.3  Gleason 3+3=6  T2a  Confined to Prostate

1st PSA  09/11/2007  <0.04 (undetectable)

2nd PSA 12/10/2007  <0.04

3rd PSA  03/17/2008  <0.04

4th PSA  06/17/2008  <0.04

My web site: http://pca-info.blogspot.com

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