I'm in much the same boat as you, including stage and age. I had my robotic last December and am still not pad free, but what they call "socially continent" in that I wear one thin pad a day mainly as a security blanket. I wanted to get the continence as close to 100% before really tackling the ED, but now at 6 months out with no additional improvement towards incontinence (ie: completely pad free), I became worried that if I didn't aggressively tackle it now it might be too late.
I've been on both Cialis and Viagra for about
three months with little or no result. I bought the pump and tried it a few times as a therapeutic aid, but with two young kids I had little or no time during the day, and pretty much fall into bed at night and have no motivation, so it became a paper weight. I finally was able to get an appointment with an ED "specialist" urologist who last week did a "doppler" study confirming that there was no vascular damage, and the surface nerves were OK. Part of the study involved injecting me with the "bi-mix" (forget the technical name), and shazam...flag pole action. I was barely able to waddle to the car and it lasted nearly three hours. The only "downside" was that needles really freak me out, and man...did it hurt. My next visit I am supposed to do the deed, and it will be interesting to see if I can overcome my phobia and actually jam that BIG (although very fine) needle in that nerve-rich environment. I was also lectured to use the pump at least 10 minutes a day, so I guess I have a new hobby.
Beyond the seemingly endless clinical aspects of the PC variety show, the spontaneity aspect is pretty huge. Even though she gets it, the wife's motivation (although already GREATLY diminished over the years) will be tested, perhaps too much. The whole thing is a pretty big downer, and has me fondly remembering better....far better days.