How did I miss this post?
When your life winds up totally different than you imagined it would...well...it can be tough to deal with in many ways.
We went into this thinking (pre-Healing Well) once he recovered from surgery our lives would get back to normal. Continence was not a problem within 8 weeks and sex, well, it was more work but we could make it happen. I have to say it was a frightening time seeing my strong, healthy man go through this ordeal. But the hard part was to come. A PSA of 11.8 AFTER surgery, of course is failure. HT was started and though it does what it's supposed to, it certainly is not without cost. From what his doctors say there will be no break, no respite from HT - we'll go to failure. And it has changed my husband - in the way he thinks of himself, in his confidence, in his physical abilities. Of course, that hurts me for him. Just as the other wonderful women have said, to me he's no less a man, more I would say, than he ever was. But I say that from a female point of view, I KNOW what he feels but I cannot really know, anymore than if it were the other way around. Yes, we both miss the intimacy and the physical closeness but those are things that, wonderful as they are, aren't what make me love him or stay with him. Simply put, it's how wonderful a husband, father and grandfather he is, I admire and love him. It is till death us do part.
Thanks for this post and to all of you who let themselves be so vulnerable. It meant so much to me to see inside other relationships - you give me courage.
Husband Diagnosed 11/17/05 Age: 63 PSA: 7.96 No Symptoms
2/09/06: LRP - Post Pathology - Gleason 4+3 Stage T2b NO MX
3 mo. PSA: 11.8 Stage T3a
6 mo. PSA: 18.8 Stage IV Systemic w/ distant lymph node involvement
Start HT - Lupron 3 mo. shots
12/06/06: PSA 0.8
03/07/07: PSA 0.3PSA - Undetectable since 6/07/07
Link to journey:www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=826731