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I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/11/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I am here to help support and understand my father's diagnose. We share a house and we spend alot of time together along with my 3 daughters and there spouses / boyfriends.  My dad is very private when it comes to health issues.  I found out over the weekend that he has prostate cancer and has known for about 2-3 months.  He is taking Casedox (sp?) and starting hormone therapy.  I have been reading some very unsettling side effects regarding this type of treatment.  I don't know the extent of his illness or what "stage". I am in sad / scared stage and any information would be helpful.  Thank you.

Bootheel
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 300
   Posted 8/11/2008 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I would first start out by talking to your Dad's Urologist. I'm sure he did a biopsy to determine what stage, tumor volume and Gleason score. Your Dad's age will have a lot to do with what course of treatment he receives. Casodex is used in Hormone blockade therapy. I'm just a prostate cancer survivor, not a doctor but I am sure you will get the information you need from the knowledgeable people here on the forum
Age 65
Diagnosed 10/12/07
PSA 6.3
Biopsy 18 core samples, 2 positive <5%
Stage T1a Gleason 6 (3+3)
LRP  1/29/08
Post-op
Gleason 7 (3+4)
1 positive margin (.3cm)
T2C 
5/15/08- 1st Post-Op PSA 0.07 Undetectable


RBinCountry
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 270
   Posted 8/11/2008 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been on Lupron for 4 months and yes it has side effects but is liveable for most.  People around me would not know or see any difference.  The side effects are mostly manageable.  Harmones are used to control testesterone as PC cancer feeds on testerone.  It will not cure the cancer but will control it from growing and spreading.
 
The doctor may have recommended it as a part of his treatment.  That was the situation with me.  You are at the right place to have many of your questions answered.  There are many ways to approach PC, and several successful ways to cure or prolong life.  The initial fear from hearing about it is often more overwhelming than the actual circumstances.  I certainly hope that is the case - blessings. 
 
RB
_______________________________________________
 
Age 61
Original data - pre-operation
PSA: 5.1
T1C clinical diagnosis, Needle biopsy - 10 cores, Gleason 7 = 3+4 in 1 core (40%), 7 cores Gleason 6 = 3+3 ranging from 5% to 12%
All scans negative
Lupron administered 4/9/2008 for 4 months (with idea I would undergo external beam radiation followed by seed implants - then I changed my mind).
Robotic DiVinci surgery - Dr. Fagin (Austin) May 19th
Post operative - pathology
pT2c NX MX
Gleason 3+4
Margins - negative
Extraprostatic extension - negative
seminal vesicle invasion - uninvolved
1st Post PSA .04

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 8/11/2008 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, 'father's daughter',
If you look under what we post, we include as much information as possible about our disease. Knowing what these things are will take some of the mystery out of prostate cancer for you. Then knowing what your dad's numbers are will help you understand your fathers case better. He does seem quite silent on it but that isn't too unusual. Sometimes men don't talk about it because they don't understand it, and sometimes men just don't talk about it. For me talking about it helps a great deal. I know where I am and know I can cope with it. There is life with cancer. Talking with his urologist may be a good way to start as long as the urologist will talk about it. But your father needs to open up a bit, too. He has to remember that this isn't just HIS disease. In time you will get the imformation from him, but maybe until then, learn about what a Gleason is, the treatment options, and how to help him. This site can help with all of this and more.

BTW, I have been on Lupron and Casodex for over a year. Your father likely had a shot of an LHRH agonist like Lupron, Eligard, Zoladex, or Trelstar. That is usually prescribed with Casodex in the beginning. He will likely be on a two year stint with it. The side effects are real for me, but I tolerate them well. You might ask, has it spread to the bone or other areas? If so he will likiely be on this treatment for a longer period.

Tony


Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
And at:
 
STAY POSITIVE!
 
 


Doting Daughter
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1064
   Posted 8/11/2008 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome! I am sorry to hear about your father's dx. As you can see from my "name", I too have a father that was diagnosed with PCa. In my experience, it has been really important to get as much information as possible from my father. I went to his appointments with him and obviously left the room when necessary, but it is really important to give him support, even if he thinks he doesn't need it :) My father only tends to hear and remember things he wants too :) Therefore, it is important to get educated on the disease state, treatment options and try to get your father to let you help in the process. We have all changed our diets and encouraged him to do the same. You have found an incredible source of information and support at HW. I hope you stick around!
Father's Age 62 (now 63)
Original Gleason 3+4=7, Post-Op Gleason- 4+3=7,
DaVinci Surgery Aug 31, 2007
Focally Positive Right Margin, One positive node. T3a N1 M0.
Bone Scan/CT Negative (Sept. 10, 2007)
Oct. 17 PSA 0.07
Nov. 13 PSA 0.05
Casodex adm. Nov 07, Lupron beg. Dec 03, 2007 2 yrs
Radiation March 03-April 22, 2008- 8 weeks 5x a week
July 2, 08 PSA <.02
Praying for a cured dad.

Co-Moderator Prostate Cancer Forum


I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for replying.  I have never been on a site like this before so I am not sure how it all works.  Am I replying to all that responded to me?  If so thank you so much for the welcome and good information.  My dad and I talked today and he cried so hard when I hugged him....he said "I am not alone?"  He has always been very independent.  Never been to a doctor or taken medications.  He is 72 and works as a server in a very demanding resteraunt.  He is retired from Insurance.  Work as always been his life. I said no....never. He doesn't want anyone to know. I asked to go to appts. with him but he doesn't want me to.  I really do want to speak with his urologist.  My dad thinks if you talk about medical stuff it is negative...he only wants to hear of positive...he is a tough one. Thank you.

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
If it were me I'd stay the course. He will accept your help when the time is right. If you still need to know more, then ask him if he can let you see his pathology report. Let him know also that the mystery may be hard on others he loves.

Knowledge can be a strain, but in the long run I find it easier to know everything. I fully understand his wish for positive thinking. After all look at the last line of my signature.

Tony
Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
And at:
 
STAY POSITIVE!
 
 


I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Tony...

I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Tony...

BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 8/11/2008 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I am my father's daughter,
See if you can convince him to visit this site and just read some of the different posts here on the site from members having widely different stages of disease and different treatments. He will see that there are many with exactly the same problem he has who have run the full gamut of emotions he has gone through, shock, anger, sadness ......... followed by a decision to fight back. He is not alone...........any questions he may have will be answered here by people with exactly the same problem. Information will do much to ease his mind. We are all shocked when we get the news but understanding prostate cancer can help immensely in dealing with it. Visit also www.yananow.net and check out the treatment charts there with members sorted by PSA or age or Gleason score or year of diagnosis. He needs to understand he has a problem but is far from being at the end of the line. Information is the key.
Bill
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07----4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.001 undetectable
PSA August 08 <.001 undetectable


Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the human race.
H.G.Wells

Post Edited (BillyMac) : 8/11/2008 8:24:51 PM (GMT-6)


James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 8/11/2008 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
                                                         tongue    Hi ~Daughter and Loved Ones,

 

Welcome   to  ~ HealingWell ~ 

and 

A   Special Warm Welcome  to  You !

 

Knowledge gives us POWER.  POWER takes away the fear. 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~

  Click  on  link  below for important information that will help you ~ help us!!

                                                                   >>  Welcome New Members ~ to HealingWell 

The information (link) listed above is to help you get around the forum!   

This is a journey best traveled with friends.   

Welcome ~ New Friend from all the members here... on HealingWell.com 

 

Forum Moderators

v      IdahoSurvivor ~  Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1160/1313099593_9f819e3ff8.jpg 

v      Doting Daughter ~  Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum 

v      James C ~  Moderator for Prostate Cancer Forum


don826
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1010
   Posted 8/12/2008 7:08 AM (GMT -7)   

Father's Daughter,

Sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. He sounds a bit like me. I too kept it to myself as I am a fairly private person. I did let one close friend know and she counseled me to let others know. As a result I did open up a bit more and let others know. I also posted on this website and another called prostatepointers.org. Best think I ever did. The expression of support and well wishes was overwhelming. It came from close associates as well as strangers with big hearts. The notes from others who have had the same experience were both disconcerting and comforting in terms of what to expect in the coming months. Fear is generally a product of ignorance. Knowledge will give your father hope and comfort.

You need to get your dad to allow you to speak with the urologists. That darn HIPPA thing may get in the way if he does not specifically allow this. Once you get a better idea of the situation post again and you will get a flood of new insights. As suggested have your father read some of the posts as well.

Good luck to you and your father. Many have beaten this disease or at least held it at bay for a number of years.

Don


Diagnosed 04/10/08
Age 58
PSA 21.5 (first and only test resulted from follow up visit to emergency room for kidney stone. first time for kidney stone too)
Gleason 4 + 3
DRE palpable tumor on left side
100% of 12 cores positive for PCa range 35% to 85%
Bone scan clear
Chest x ray clear
CT scan shows potential lymph node involvement in pelvic region
Started Casodex on May 2 and stopped on June 1, 2008
Lupron injection on May 15 and every four months for next two years
Started IMRT/IGRT on July 10, 2008. 45 treatments scheduled
First 25 to be full pelvic for a total dose of 45 Gray to lymph nodes.
Last 20 to prostate only. Total dose to prostate 81 Gray.
 
 


I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/12/2008 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the reply. This morning I asked my dad if I could go with him to at least one medical appt. I explained it would help me get a better understanding of his situation. He didn't have to be in the room if he didnt' want to. He gently refused and said he didn't want to talk about it. I think I will ask him to grant me perssion to speak with the urologist on my own....I don't know what to think...he worries me so.
 


Valentine08
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 8/13/2008 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Daughter,

If you haven't already, you should tell your father that lots of families get involved with the patients with prostate cancer.  It is natural to be concerned with the health of someone living with you and also a person really needs a second set of ears at many appointments.  And it is natural of him to feel very, very disinclined to want to share his health problem with others.  I think he would gain much from reading through this site to see the range of issues covered and the interest of wives, daughters, sons, and significant others in learning and helping.  He is carrying too large a load all alone.   This forum is a blessing and he could really benefit by spending private time reading back through the posts.  Good luck to you and him.  The private parts makes privacy a toughter issue.  Father-daughter relationship also makes that tough.  We understand.  My dad had PC too, first diagnosed at a metastatic bone level.  He lived 12 more years, following a variety of treatments.  Not without some side effects, but he was as active as ever.  There is hope. 


Age 59
PSA ; PSA 9/07=3.4; '06=3.2 DRE Negative; '05=2.4; '04=1.7
Biopsy 11/07 =  Stage T1c, 12 cores, 2 positive
Gleason score= 3+3=6
DaVinci Robotic RP surgery: 2/14/08
Path report: Gleason= 3+4=7; Stage T2c


I am my father's daughter
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/14/2008 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Valentine,
I will continue to take the wise advice of those on this site.  I hope to slowly but surely let my Dad know it is ok to talk about his condition.  I think he is in shock and scared.  He has never been sick, taken medication or even gone to the doctor.  He is strong mentally and physically and the thought of losing any type of independece is frightening.  Thank you for taking the time to write.  You are right, being a father/daughter relationship, we don't talk much about bodily functions or" body parts." The information about your dad was comforting.  I am new to all of this and what all the info at the bottom of each persons response means.  Thanks again.  I best get back to work...have a great day. 

smilingoldcoot
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 338
   Posted 8/15/2008 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Daughter

email me and I will give you my phone number if you or your father needs an ear.

My website and my information is listed below in my signature.
 
Richard
Retired USAF Richard & Debbie on The Shores of Toledo Bend Lake Louisiana
Biospy 1/10/08 Gleason 10, Stage T1C  8 of 12 samples positive all Less Than 5% 
Suspected lymph node involvement
Lupron & Casodek May 08 for 2 years
Completed 25 IMRT and 17 PBRT U of Florida Proton Therapy Institute 7/24/08
PSA .21, free PSA .08, Percent free PSA 38.1, testosterone 14.6
Turn Stumbling Blocks into Steping Stones and Keep Smiling
Our Journey is on WWW.GLEASON10.COM
 


mlbsm
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 8/17/2008 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Daughter,

Your Dad sounds exactly like me, and I'm sure like more than a few of my fellow big, strong, fearless, independent and brave fellow members of this forum who came to be members from their wives, daughters, sisters, Aunts, and even Grandmothers.

We don't ask for directions while lost in the car, so it's unreasonable for you to expect us to ask for assistance or information for something REALLY serious.

In my case, my wife was conversing with people on this site for weeks before I would sit down and start reading,
and once I figured out my worst fear wasn't going to be going through the check out counter at the supermarket with some large boxes of Pampers, I relaxed and eventually even started posting on my own.

I think if you ask him to do you a favor and read this thread from the top to the bottom, and then make sure he knows how to access the board, he'll quickly become an information junkie like the rest of us.

To begin, get his signature either from him or from his Doctor (With permission) and post it. Then when you come on . or he does, he can compare his journey with the rest of us, and will probably realize he's luckier than some, less fortunate than others, but we're all carrying the same weight, and we can always get our wives or our daughters to go to the supermarket for us.

If your Dad is smart, he's inquisitive. Knowing HIS STORY is on this board will make him want to know others story.

The unknown is what is scaring your Father the most. Being alone is the last thing he wants to do right now and an empty chair in front of a computer screen is all the incentive he'll need to find out how other people are coping with a pretty scary situation, and he doesn't have to "meet" anybody he doesn't want to.

My best,

Billy
DIAG. 2/08
DRE POSITIVE
PSA 6.8
CONTAINED, LEFT SIDE, GLEASON 9
LUPRON, (3 MO.) 2/28
SURG, SCHED. 3/26/08
RRP, 3/26, HOME 3/31
BIOPSY REPORT:
GLEASON SCORE, 3+4
TUMOR CONFINED TO THE PROSTATE, INKED EXTERNAL SURFACE FREE OF INVOLVEMENT.
VD AND SV CLEAR AS WELL AS LYMPH NODES AND A BLADDER SECTION.
INCONTINENCE EBBING FAST
ED, FLAT TIRE. MAYBE LUPRON?
PSA 5/21 O.O1 UND
PSA 6/30 O.OI UND
TEST. 10 SHREDDED TIRE STILL LUPRON
INCON. HISTORY
PSA 9/30


Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 8/17/2008 9:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi father's daughter,
Billy ~ mlbsm, has just posted some excellent advice.  And his great point of view is why you stay the course of trying to encourage him to allow someone to be on this journey with him.  Re-iterating what I posted in your other thread, amost always, the patients feelings or point of view changes once they become familiar with this disease and have lived with it for a while.  The sooner the better.  But if he remains resistant, you can remain interested to his eyes.  I have seen this here and other sites before quite a few times.  Hope to see you again soon!  And maybe even "I'm my daughters father". turn

Peace,

Tony



Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007 @ The City of Hope
Post-Op Pathology: Gleason 4+3=7, positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 9 '08): <0.1
I will continue HT until May '09. 
Years in Remission (3/23/07): 1
Visit my Journey at:
And at:
 
STAY POSITIVE!
 
 

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