My that man is stubborn. I recognize that trait as it is a familiar one. Sometimes an appeal to logic works on the male of the species. Let him know that his illness effects more than just him and that it would help you to know more about
it. (Emphasis on him helping you) Let him know that you will need to know what to expect in order to assist him better should the need arise. (Emphasis on assisting not taking over) Also let him know that sharing a load makes it easier to bear at times. (Return of the concern and compassion that he has shown for you) Above all let him know that you are not asking to take over but only to share the hardship as much as possible. (Let's him know that you are there for him) It sounds like he already knows this but might be good to put it in so many words.
If he is going to visit a lady friend and you have a good relationship with her see if you can get her to get him to include you in the process. I am not suggesting you get her to rat him out but maybe to suggest that you need to know. I have a lady friend myself that I have told more about
my situation than I have told my family including my daughter. She probably knows more about
how I feel than anyone else. She has been with me at several of the doctor visits including the diagnosis and prognosis meeting. I have not discussed the negative side of my situation with my daughter. Just can't seem to do it and don't want to worry her, so I keep it on the positive side.
FD, I hope that you can eventually get through to your father that it is in his best interest to have you involved and that it ultimately helps you both.
PSA 21.5 (first and only test resulted from follow up visit to emergency room for kidney stone. first time for kidney stone too)
Gleason 4 + 3
DRE palpable tumor on left side
100% of 12 cores positive for PCa range 35% to 85%
Bone scan clear
Chest x ray clear
CT scan shows potential lymph node involvement in pelvic region
Started Casodex on May 2 and stopped on June 1, 2008
Lupron injection on May 15 and every four months for next two years
Started IMRT/IGRT on July 10, 2008. 45 treatments scheduled
First 25 to be full pelvic for a total dose of 45 Gray to lymph nodes.
Last 20 to prostate only. Total dose to prostate 81 Gray.