This is a serious forum but I notice that every now and then there is some humor mixed in. KW's got to be the best with it. Now I'll try my hand at it.
Try to put yourself in my place.
Those who have had the AUS and the IPP know that they take both take some getting used to. For example, the AUS takes about a minute to close after an implantee like me urinates. You have to stand there shaking and milking to try to get the last drop out instead of in your pants. It really takes time and patience. Also, those who receive an IPP get a mixed-blessing. "It" looks fuller. You know... "it". The "thingy". Where once it could be described as a turtle wanting back in its shell, it sort of (pardon the expression) all hangs out after implant surgery, even when it's not excited. So some implantees, like me, are somewhat modest, not really wanting others to see it. I really think I may be too modest, but don't want anyone in the restroom getting the wrong idea.
So last week the wife and I were in one of those very busy resturants. I needed to urinate so proceeded to the mens room. I always go into a stall and shut the door and lock it so no other man would get scarred by what he thinks he sees: A man standing at the urinal too long, obviously doing something that is not normally done in the men's room. So I avoid urinals in public restrooms.
OK. I go in this mens room, try stall #1. Occupied. Try stall #2, the last one in the restroom. Occupied. Insteading of waiting outside a stall, which I didn't think would look too good, I decide to use the available urinal, taking great care to bow my knees outward so that my pants would not fall to my ankles (another reason I like the stalls...never have mooned anyone and not ready to start. So far I have not learned just to unzipp my slacks, as I did pre-prostectatomy. There's this little pump we AUS implantees must squeeze to let the water flow. So it takes two hands and that's more than what a simple open fly will allow. I release the valve and urinate freely, first a full stream, then down to a trickle, then to a drop. I wait. I wait some more as another drop appears and leaves. I then shake it again and again. Then I milk it...and milk it. I repeat this routine for about a minute, which can seem like hours. Then I shake it and shake it some more until I think they are all gone. I place it back where it belongs, drip one more time just for fun, flush the urnial, zipp up, and turn to leave and suddenly... I am face to face with two big Texans. They are waiting in line, right behind me. They both have this frown on their faces. I read their minds. I really do. They were both thinking, "So this is what a pervert does in the rest room! I'll just...". I know I turned a bright, bright red! I didn't take the time to say, "Howdy". I am out of there!
It was not funny then, but the wife and I got a good laugh from the experience as I related it to her. I can only hope you HW friends do too. As we all know, this road can be long and hard. Need to laugh a little.
PC diagnosed 12-06 @ age 63