New here, Hubby had prostatectomy 3 weeks ago

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/14/2008 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all, I am new here. I hope i can navigate this forum corectly. Hubby had first orgasm this morning after surgery, with my help. at first he was afraid to allow himself to orgasm, tho it was feeling good at the time(gently HJ with oil). but he allowed himself to try. He said it felt fine, but hurt for awhile afterwards, dull ache where prostate used to be and a few zingers. We have since read that is normal. Of coures, penis wasnt fully hard. Wondering how long that generally takes? He is 52, nerve bundles were preserved, dont know his gleason scores, but very sexually active before surgery, which i hear is good. All ccncer was contained within prostate, lymph nodes clear. He was reading on here earlier and seemed to feel better that all he was experiencing after first orgasm sounded normal. Any info would help. Thanks so much.

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/14/2008 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
You go my husband is still a bit incontinent ( 3 pads a day) just three and a half weeks from his daVinci surgery....we were kind of waiting but will try a little stimulation if there is hope this others am I  setting my goal too high too fast?  nono Heard that it can take MONTHS....not weeks.....

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/14/2008 2:48 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks for the reply. my husband wears a pad only during the day and has had very few leaks, and has always been highly sexed(Lord have mercy) so he has been urging me to participate in "therapy" even before he had the cath out! If your hubby is willing to try, you might as well.  Good luck to you.

Mike A
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 213
   Posted 9/14/2008 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi forumjunkie,
Maybe that's my problem. I wasn't smart enough to refer to it as "therapy." If he is even partially or mostly hard at this point it is a very good sign of things to come! Glad things are progressing so well for you.
June 2005 - Age 53 PSA 4.8 at regular physical
October 2005 - After several rounds of anti-biotics, PSA 5.2 at Urlogist November 2005 - Biopsy negative
July 2006 - PSA 5.9 at regular Physical October 2006 - After several more rounds of anti-biotics PSA 8.1 November 2006 - Second biopsy - Positive December 2006 - Gleason (3+4=7), Tumor T1c, CT Scan and Bone Scan Negative
January 2, 2007 Robotic Prostatectomy, University of Rochester Medical Center - Tumor confined but larger than thought, only one partial nerve able to be spared. Margins clear.
February 2007 - Three to four pads a day, no erection with viagara.
April 2007 - First Post-Surgical PSA 0.02. Down to one pad a day.
July, 2007 - Six Month Post-op: PSA 0.04 No change in ED.
October, 2007 - Nine Month Post-op: PSA back down to 0.02! Almost totally dry! Only slight improvement in ED - Will try injections if not improved by next appointment.
January 2008: One Year Post-OP PSA 0.02 still dripping, but improving. Tried 500 dose of MUSE for ED, no luck. Will try 1000.
July, 2008 PSA 0.04 again, will recheck in October. Use .15cc Trimix injections, partial success. Will try .20cc.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 276
   Posted 9/15/2008 5:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Time varies, 12 mos for me, some spontaneous activity but only with extended manual stimulation, meds help. Might help to realign priorities, some take 18 months or longer, even with nerve bundles spared. Even with meds, not the same quality as pre-surgery. At the end of the day though, I would personally rather be alive and cancer free while hoping for a return of adequate function spontaneously, I dislike meds and although the injections work great, utilizing them removes all spontaneity from the experience. Good Luck.
46 you when diagnosed, now 47
Pre-Op PSA 9.9
1 of 12 cores positive, Gleason 3+3
DaVinci on 9/5/2007
Post-Op Gleason 3+6, Negative Nodes and Margins
Less than 1% of prostate involved with CA
3 Month PSA 0.01, 6 Month PSA 0.01, 9 Month PSA 0.01
Incontinence resolved 9/15/2007, one day after cath removal
ED showing significant improvement.
Cialis 5 mg every night.
Success with BiMix

Roger G
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 9/15/2008 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   

I agree whole hardly with you. It is much better to be alive..... but I do miss the physical part of our relationship. We celebrated our 21st anniversary this past weeking, with a nice dinner btw.

Age: 43 (2008)
DRE Small Ridge on prostate, PSA 1.5
07/2007: Diagnosed cancer, T2c, Gleason 3+4=7
09/2007: Laparoscopic prostectomy @ Hamilton General, 4 hrs.
              Both nerve bundles spared
              Pathology Report: Tumor confined w/in prostate
              T2c, Gleason is 3+3=6
              Went home with JP drain
10/2007: Made return trip to hospital.  All urine was comming out JP drain.
10/2007: Catheter removed. Next to no leakage
11/2007: 1st PSA <.003 :)
              ED: Started Viagra, no response yet.
12/2007: Had confidence to go padless!!!!!
12/2007: ED:  Stopped Viagra as it's causing hemroid problems.
01/2008: 2nd PSA <.003 :)
              ED: next to no response.
04/2008: 3nd PSA <.003 :)
              ED: next to no response.  Changed the Viagra prescription.
07/2008: 4nd PSA <.003 :)
              ED: Still NADA.  Changing to Cialis.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/15/2008 9:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear still no luckin the response department. you r a young guy too. Were you able to get and sustain erections before and were you very sexually active? We were told that those things make a difference in recovery after. Do you men do things sexually for your wives even tho you have ED? wouldnt that be good for closeness physically? Just wondering because just because you cant have/keep an erection or orgasm yourself doesnt mean you cant get the closeness you desire with your spouses by satisfying them in some way, even if its just a nice massage.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 9/15/2008 11:19 AM (GMT -6)   

I am now 4 weeks post LRP and I too am experimenting with the big O. I was having erections almost immediately even while the catheter was still in. I have orgasm now but it feels different. I feel a dull ache at the surgery area which I assume will get better with time. Also there is no ejaculation. ( I apoligize if this is too graphic for this site.) It feels different because it seems much quicker. My advice is to take it slow and enjoy the ride.

Rising PSA 12/06=1.6 12/07=2.1 5/08=2.6
Biopsy 6/4/08 Positive
Diagnose @ Age 51 Gleason 3+3=6
Bone & Cat Scans Normal
Lapro Surgery 8/18/08 at Memorial Sloan Kettering
Catheter removed 8/26 - reinserted 8/29 - removed 9/2

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/15/2008 1:24 PM (GMT -6)   
hi hangin-in, my husband had his first O last night, as i posted in the beginning of this thread. I had been telling him he was going to have to have the first one without me because i didnt want to be responsible for any pain. But as i was giving him his "massage therapy" yesterday morning(he is 3 weeks post op, robotic prostatectomy) he decided to allow himself to relax enough to orgasm. he said it felt about the same, and i witnessed the lack of ejaculate first hand(no pun intended)which was interesting. He also had some discomfort deep inside for awhile. It only lasted about half hr to 45 minutes. His penis wasnt erect tho, kind of semi, which seems strange that everything else felt/seemed the same. It seemed to take awhile but i think it was because he wasnt planning on trying to orgasm at first, we were just "excercising" it. So now if orgasm is his goal, it probably wont take as long.

Bob D
Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 9/15/2008 10:55 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Forumjunkie,

If he is getting even a partial erection this soon, he is well on his way !! I got my first 5 days post op with the catheter still in. Ouch ! But it was great to experience. Now just six months post op, I get an 80% erection naturally and with 10mg Cialis it is 110%. wink My wife and I had a little "therapy" the other night and again the following morning. Yes the Cialis does last very well. I had the slight pain after orgasm at first but it did subside. A lot of trauma down there must heal. Being sexually active pre op really does help. You two keep it up, LOL. smilewinkgrin



Age 59, psa 4.7 in Jan. 08. Biopsy: one positive sample out of 13. 1% of one sample cancer. Prostate removed on 3/5/08. Open Surgery. Northeast Georgia Medical Center, Gainesville Ga. Nerves spared. Cath out 12 days later. Continence good. No pads needed since 6/10/08. First PSA: Less than 0.1 on 6/17/08. First erection five days post op and have been improving well since then. Full erection now possible (less than four months post op) with the assistance of Cialis. I am pleased with the progress so far. Married to same wonderful woman for 39 years.
She is still beautiful and sexy as ever. A great help in my recovery !!

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 9/15/2008 11:48 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome forumjunkie! 


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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 158
   Posted 9/16/2008 11:00 AM (GMT -6)   
hello there  forum your hubby will usually have that ache after sex at about 6 weeks mine went away life is still great after surgery,my wife is highly sexually charged and a just plain great gal.she participates in all our therapy sessions , HUGE diffrence from something like a pump or? ccause all sensation is being met.your hubby is gonna be fine ,we had sex a couple days post cath removal,and literally try everynight (use it or lose it my surgeon said) i have went in 3.5 months from nothing  witout the meds to 80% erection quality with out them 100% with. hers the good stuff,in my case orgasms are indeed 100 % better than pre surgery and hers why or at least how i can best explain ,for one no more mess you have to adjust to it if your a guy and you will,im certain the wives on here like mine think nothing less of you just cause theres no man juice anymore, but before when there was my orgasms would typically last 10 to 12 seconds very average for abny guy as thats approx how long it takes ejaculate to empty, now theres nothing coming out annd  therefore nothing  going to the brain sayin its over ,typically my orgasms are not only as long as a womans but have lasted for as long as 40 seconds and 50 times more intense so its not all bad , i too am young and had NO previous ed  whatsoever and had sex on a VERY regular basis your guy need ya right now and god bless women like you its gonna get real good you watch and see and best of all NO CANCER ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dirt

Diagnosed November 2007   (43 years old )
PSA 3.9 / Gleason 6 / TC1 6 cores 1 shows 25%
Sugery scheduled 5/29/08 - City of Hope - Dr. Mark Kawachi
 "First show of the day"
 and now for the new ive been waiting for
 FINAL PATH REPORT:gleason upgraded to 3+4 T2c bilateral disease,tumor involvment 5%
extra prostatic extention:absent
seminal vesical invasion :absent
pathological staging:pTNM pT2 ORGAN CONFINED
margins free of carcinoma
usable erections ;6-6-08 with little blue pill
continence; 1 pad a day, dry at night

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 9/16/2008 12:49 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi forum junkie,

I think your husband's doing well after 3 weeks. My doc had me on Viagra every day for two weeks starting week three. ( 100mg per day or 50 mg per day for four weeks).He said even if I didn't need it, it helps wake up the muscles and better erections will come sooner.


Ed from Rochester, NY 66 years old
PSA 6/06 1.9
4/06 Biopsy 1 core cancerous Gleason 3 + 3 = 6
8/06 Da Vinci Dr. Joseph, Strong Memorial, Rochester, NY
Gleason 3 + 4 = 7, negative margins
3 month PSA .01
6 month PSA .01
9 month PSA .02
1 yr PSA .01
1 1/2 yr PSA .02
1st collagen 12/07
2nd collagen 3/08
Imiprimine 7/08
still leaking about 120 ml/day 2 - 4 pad
AdVance Male sling procedure 9-05-08

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 9/18/2008 5:12 PM (GMT -6)   
good luck on the therapy good 4 u to be willing to try so early . my surgeon said nothing 4 - 4 to 5weeks  iguess all docs r different . lungman i agree with you to much emphsis put on the erectile part id rather stop leaking and thank god im alive lol smurf
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