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Are you a man or woman?

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Prostate Cancer
Are you the guy? Are you the gal/partner?
Man with prostate cancer. - 81.4% - 35 votes
Woman/Partner posting for a man with prostate cancer. - 18.6% - 8 votes
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Posted 11/11/2008 9:17 AM (GMT -8)
I guess I'm looking to see how many women/partners post for their guys here.  Livinadream posted a thread about getting the word out about prostate cancer and I was curious if I ran this what the percentage would be?  But really I am looking for both.  Simply put I am curious about the balance of who is posting here.  Comment if you like but check the box is even better...

It is my contention that nearly as many women talk about prostate cancer than men.  In fact I have met more men in Las Vegas through their ladies.  Seems wrong.

Tony

Posted 11/11/2008 10:08 AM (GMT -8)
This is interesting Tony, I will be following this as well, kinda got my curiosity up.

I am a male

peace to you
Dale
Posted 11/11/2008 10:45 AM (GMT -8)
Tony...don't forget we have several forum members that both the man and the wife contribute under the same screen name and should have pointed that out on your poll instead of just one or the other.
Posted 11/11/2008 11:01 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks LV,
But that would be a vote in both columns, would it not?  Unfortunately, you can only vote once, but if you can say which way you voted, or even which way the login is used most, that is helpful.

Tony
Posted 11/11/2008 11:38 AM (GMT -8)
Here Ya go Tony.... Try to figure this one out!!!... I was a man before the Doctor started messin with me but I was given a girls name at birth! I'm married to a woman but she does not post here! I'm not sure which block to vote in?!?!?!?!?!
hehehehe
Keep up the Great Work,
Your Friend, Kelly!!!!
Posted 11/11/2008 12:16 PM (GMT -8)
KW..you are such a funny guy tongue
Posted 11/11/2008 1:20 PM (GMT -8)
I am a male. I apoligize, but yes, indeed I am a male. Yup, the Doctor and Da Robot confirmed it. Did their very best to change it, but , still a male.

Very interesting post Tony good luck with what you find.

LOL :) :)

Frank
Posted 11/11/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -8)
There are many women posting here I know. That's due to a few factors one women are more likely for the most to post in such forums. Secondly many men are lazy and if their wife can post here instead of them for info well go ahead and do it honey. That said I still hold the many of the same views as before which got me into trouble with the cadre here then. They were for the most much more conservative and religious than we have now. This is a male disease. Talks about male sexuality should never again be tempered because someones 15 year old granddaughter may be reading posts in here. The fact that no one currently tells men to take ED discussions elsewhere is the way it should be. Before when in a PCa forum members were told to take it elsewhere was ludicrous. I did say at one time there shouldn't be any female moderators I'll take that back because they are needed for wives I'll admit and their reactions to their spouses disease. But I still don't care personally to hear from a women about a disease she can never get or identify truly what it does to the male psyche. Nor do I think a man should be a moderator in a cervical cancer forum. I know Tony your mom died of that and my condolences but that still doesn't change my opinion. To sum it up the actual people with the disease posts should take priority of any second hand posts. If pushed some nonposting men may post here and get more out of it than filtered through their wives/girlfriends/ daughters.. Now do I get banished again?

BTW I went to my 6 months PSA testing yesterday. I'll be posting the new psa soon as I get it. I've been told there's no need to come in at 9 months everything looks so well. For one thing the uroflow machine indicates I'm pissing like a 25 year old again. Thus my next appointment will be a normal biopsy April 6 to confirm the absence of PCa a year after the clinical study procedure.
Posted 11/11/2008 4:21 PM (GMT -8)
Rick,
I will respond part of your post. I hope that your tests come out well. All of us here are all in this together. I wish for peace and healing here.

God bless you,

Tony
Posted 11/11/2008 4:47 PM (GMT -8)
Welll.....I am a wife....but, that said...I LOVE MY HUSBAND....and HE doesn't want to go on line and post.......He knows that I do, and he likes that, and I learn from others...Every couple has their own way to communicate and learn. Prostate cancer is one of the most devastating diseases, because it hits a man where he lives...We have been very happily married many many years...we have had really great sex for many years, and when we thought it might be "stopped" for awhile.., while there was a "cure going on: , well, we understood, and that was OK...WELL, it has been over eight years, and we do (and I do!) understand...It is very sad, because Pete (husband), is depressed and anxious and not accepting..( not just no sex, but the pain in his hip from the lupron shots from before, and just in general his ongoing pain and incontinence, and the AUS now that is not really what he thought it would be.......
..He is still angry...at life, at doctors, at polititions, at anybody that will listen...He won't have the news on, or gets mad when the phone rings, and in general is very sad and unhappy...I am an artist and try to keep my spirits up and paint, and try to keep him happy. The one thing that has made a tremendous difference is....we rescued a dog...That has been an angel in our lives....Pete just loves the dog, and the dog (Donny, aka Don Juan), loves him and ME too...!! Life can be good. we just have to look for the good... Diane
Posted 11/11/2008 5:08 PM (GMT -8)

Diane,
We did the same thing and rescued a dog just four days before my last radiation therapy.  Ruth and I never owned a dog after 14 years together, she was a cat person.  My last Austrailian Shepard was stolen while I was at work just week before I met Ruth.  I have always loved dogs and she knew that, and that is why we were at the animal shelter that day, because she wanted to keep my spirits up.  It was cool because she never had a dog and now she loves him so much.  Life is good. 

As a man, It doesn't take a degree to know that my cancer affects everybody in our lives particularly our spouses.  I am so thankful that my wife understands me for who I am, not what I am after all we have done to my body.  And so did my mother.  She was and will always be in my heart.  And I do miss her very much.  I would go to any board and do anything I could to have helped her not die the way she did.  I would even moderate a board for cervical cancer to keep the peace among it's members if I had learned enough about the disease, but she died so suddenly.  It was just a terrible day.

What a wonderful post Diane.  God bless you!

Tony


Post Edited (TC-LasVegas) : 11/11/2008 6:17:08 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/11/2008 6:35 PM (GMT -8)
I must be the only gal that voted, but from this post alone, there are at least three of us, not to mention a bunch of comedians.  tongue
Posted 11/11/2008 6:39 PM (GMT -8)
I'm a male....
Posted 11/12/2008 3:47 AM (GMT -8)

Hi all,

I am a MAN now and thats for SURE! But I wasn't when I started posting here due to 3 years of hypogonadizm post RP open surgery. My boobs were getting huge, I was moody & depressed all the time w/ hot flshes and crying spells. My penis was shrinking away to nothing due to atrofy and lack of use. My wife just didn't understand and either did I. We were both going through metapause together and that just wasn't cool at all!

Diane, I can relate to Pete SO MUCH! I think I know just how he feels as I'm sure many others here do. I too have a rescue dog after telling my wife for over 20 years "NO DOG." Then my wife called me one deay from the barn where she kept her horses. two German Shepards had been playing catch w/ a 3 week old mut puppy which had wandered into their yard next to the barn. It had puncture wounds in it's stomac and it's rear legs were paralized. The owners who had way too many dogs around their house didn't want it or to help it. We took it to an ER for animals and $850.00 later we had a pupy at home. Rose grew up to be the nices little pup, she is a dear and I don't know how I lived w/o her! She is a cross between a cocker spaniel mom & blue tick coon hound dad but she is a short hair black dog who everyone thinks is a lab puppy! So cute at 3 years old, she even gets along w/ my parots! All for now, work ya know!

Your friend,

Pete 

 

Posted 11/12/2008 5:41 AM (GMT -8)
realziggy, your position on the subject of women not relating to a mans disease is well known by anyone but the new folks. This subject is a hot button topic and creates many more arguments and problems than it solves. I ask that you let the past stay there and let's just move on forward.

To the rest of you guys and the new folks, this subject has been fought furiously and resulted in several hurt feelings and people leaving the group, so I ask that you not continue the argument by replying to the topic that realziggy mentions, concerning the role of women in the Forum. I know some may have strong opinions and want to give them, but let's let sleeping dogs lie, ok?
Posted 11/12/2008 8:41 AM (GMT -8)

James C. said...
realziggy, your position on the subject of women not relating to a mans disease is well known by anyone but the new folks. This subject is a hot button topic and creates many more arguments and problems than it solves. I ask that you let the past stay there and let's just move on forward.

To the rest of you guys and the new folks, this subject has been fought furiously and resulted in several hurt feelings and people leaving the group, so I ask that you not continue the argument by replying to the topic. I know some may have strong opinions and want to give them, but let's let sleeping dogs lie, ok?

Ok I agree James you are a very good moderator. With that said give me a little credit for not jumping in another thread that was recently brought back that had stayed dormant since June. That was the original thread that had Bluebird deleting many guys posts and really started the controversy back then. No I won't say which one it was since it has hopefully faded away for good this time.
Posted 11/12/2008 8:51 AM (GMT -8)
realziggy
Noted and credit given. I held my breath for several days on that one, along with one other that surfaced recently. Forgive me if I pulled the trigger too soon on this one., ok?
Posted 11/12/2008 11:31 AM (GMT -8)
Me a man - err at least I was prior to RRP - now I try to be a man!!!

Age 61 (now 62)
Original data - pre-operation
PSA: 5.1
T1C clinical diagnosis, Needle biopsy - 10 cores, Gleason 7 = 3+4 in 1 core (40%), 7 cores Gleason 6 = 3+3 ranging from 5% to 12%
All scans negative
Lupron administered 4/9/2008 for 4 months (with idea I would undergo external beam radiation followed by seed implants - then I changed my mind).
Robotic DiVinci surgery - Dr. Fagin (Austin) May 19th
Post operative - pathology
pT2c NX MX
Gleason 3+4
Margins - negative
Extraprostatic extension - negative
seminal vesicle invasion - uninvolved
1st Post PSA <.04
2nd Post PSA <.1 10/30/2008
Posted 11/12/2008 10:05 PM (GMT -8)
tongue   tongue tongue I hold my tongue on this one except to say that I don't post for my spouse. He's perfectly capable of holding his own...no pun intended turn

Swim

Posted 11/13/2008 11:22 AM (GMT -8)
Swim - you are too funny!

I am a woman.....
Posted 11/14/2008 5:30 PM (GMT -8)

  On the same topic, I had the consultation with my urologist yesterday and he was expertly explaining all the treatment options I had. Half way through I looked over at my wife and she had tears running down her cheeks.  I felt so bad for her because she felt so bad for me.   I think the more women who get involved with the illness, or the g#$%@&m FR*+"#@ing disease, as my sister-in-law put it, would only help strengthen and encourage those who need to go through it just so we can be with them as long as we can.

    Thanks, Ralph

Posted 11/14/2008 10:35 PM (GMT -8)
My wife is not a forum junkie. Nor was I before I was diagnosed. But now I come here like a moth to the flame whenever I have some spare time. It's an interesting post, but it seemed to me the women who post here for the husbands are pretty open that they are seeking info for them. I tease my wife every now and then about how some "supportive spouses" keep up with the forum for the husbands that they love. Hehe...I couldn't be more sarcastic as it relates to my wife. She is the most amazing and supportive spouse I could hope for, but she's never once logged on here. Oh well. She doesn't know all the "fun" she is missing :)
Posted 11/14/2008 11:49 PM (GMT -8)
Hello everybody, from Zion National Park in southern Utah.  Ruthie and I are here for the weekend and I can't wait for the hiking tomorrow. 

Some great posts here, thank you all.

41diagnosed ~ My Ruthie has never posted per se but she is in this at every level with me ~ no exceptions.  I was 44 when diagnosed, and she was 39...She is better off dodging some of fun here.  I know that I voted "man" but without her I would be half of that.  I believe she understands me better than I do. 

Ralph ~ Great post and welcome to HW.  Thank you for participating in my poll.  You and I have a lot of similarities I gather from your post here and your other posts you started.  Look at my signature.  I didn't luck out in treatment but most will do just fine with these numbers.  You need to post your age if you can.  I am into this a couple years now so if you feel like talking to someone with similar biopsy numbers just contact me through email.  Stay positive!

Swim... shakehead ...Very punny!  Very punny indeed! tongue

Kat ~ Luv ya!  Thank you so much for being here.

You all go and have a nice weekend!   Unfortunately... smilewinkgrin ...I have just got in from having to have to go out and sit by the fire down by the river, and playing my guitars.  My RV is facing the river and about 15' from the sandy banks.  The sky is clear and my favorite RV site is empty!  So will be Zion tomorrow, all to our own!  A beautiful place for sure!

Peace!

Tony

Posted 11/16/2008 6:38 PM (GMT -8)
Hey Tony, you sure you don't want to trade for my 12 x 12 metal booth????
Have a Great Time.
KW
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