post-op pain, issues with partner understanding

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64dragon
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/4/2008 6:23 AM (GMT -6)   
I just had a prostatectomy along with an umbiliical hernia repair on 11/05/08. We are very pleased that I am clear of cancer at this point, no circulatory or lymph metastisis found on path. report. I had a very painful recovery process after my surgery with some horrible bladder spasms as soon as I woke up from surgery and through the next day or two, along with some serious gas pain.  I had to have a lot of morphine injections during the first two days.  I got off of those quickly so that I could give my colon a chance to wake up, and also off of the suppositories and as much as possible the detrol l.a. and decreased the oral ms contin I was taking as well.  I did a lot of walking and everything I could to recover faster, but it took four and a half days before my ileum woke up enough to pass any gas at all.  Six days and on the sixth night I was discharged, but I have continued to have pain at the astamosis site, and feel pain a lot in the testicles as well.  It seems I have had some bladder infection continuing also, and even after two rounds of antibiotics, I will soon be taking a third.  Complicating my issues further, I was in a bad auto accident day before yesterday, in which my car was hit hard from the side, and spun it around 360 plus degrees.  I was able to get out of my truck but really felt my guts slam around a lot. The hospital said that there was no internal damage after theh cat scan was checked.  Mostly the same pains down low continue, and I feel that my girlfriend doesn't understand.  She has blogs and posts where people recovered faster, and I think she feels like im being a baby, and yet I have already returned to work a couple of days. I have no way to drive a car now though, as it was probably totaled, this after a bad flip over wreck when she was driving my truck last summer.  I also feel that she is somewhat uncomfortable being in bed with me as I have a slight amount of urine leakage if we try anything manually, and on only one night I had incontinence on the bed which i think was caused by ambien, since I had no urine on my clothing but all over the bed!  Luckily she wasn't sleeping in it.  Please advise on how I can help her to understand my pain better.  Also, I am nearly completely continent just a few small leaks now and then, using only one pad a day, if even that.  Female pantiliners seem more appropriate given the small dribbles. I have stopped kegels for now as my P.T. said don't do them with pain.  I did them pre surgery which helped a lot I believe. 

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4835
   Posted 12/4/2008 7:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Have your girlfriend spend a few hours reading through this forum.
 
Point out that you're Both LUCKY that you're alive eyes
 
Tell her she shouldn't do any complaining for at least the first YEAR.
 
Ask her when was the last time she had a mommogram or a pap smear.....
Age 53   - 5'11"   205lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Gleason - 6
(biopsy done March 4, 2008-> 2 of 12)
 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
10/03/08 - 1st Quarter PSA -> less then .01
 

Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Las Colinas and Plano Offices

 


divo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 12/4/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Dragon, First of all....I would lose that girlfriend.....With friends like her, you won't recover as well.......Next, and more importantly, because you probably wont follow my first advice....... (although you should), With all of the antibiotics you have been taking, your intestines probably dont have the good bacteria that they need to work well. Your colon needs the good bacteria. Get some Probiotics 10 from the health food store. You will be surprised within a few days, your gut will calm down, and that will give you much relief.

You have been through major surgery.....you need to realize it takes almost a year to get back to normal after surgery. Little by little you will be getting and feeling better....Pat yourself on the back. Congratulations on your strength and also being free of the cancer... and...think about my first sentence......Diane
Husband Pete
dx Jan 2001 age 67 gleason 4 + 3 PSA 16.5
seed implant and conformal radiation Lupron from Jan 2001 to Jan2002
2005 Dec PSA began to rise from .5 to 8 within 6 months
Salvage surgery at MSK 9/06
Fistula operation 2/07 MSK
Many cystoscopies and ER visits with strictures
catheter for one year....Catheter taken out Sept 07..
Total Incontinence since then....
PSA .52 3/07
AUS Operation at MSK Sept 8. Dr. Sandhu
Activated Oct 28th Dr. Sandhu..MSK
Some difficulty with AUS arising Nov 10 2008


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 12/4/2008 8:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Gee, that was a little quick to say lose the girlfriend. The girlfirend is probably just as worried. Not everyone experiences pain or expresses worry the same way. I've heard but one side here and only a "feeling", not anything she's said or done. Perhaps those blogs were meant to be encouraging. I hope they were.

Sorry about the accident Dragon. It had to be frustrating and a little painful...ouch! Sounds like you're okay, which is encouraging. In fact, it does sound like your recovery is coming along pretty well. Pain tollerence is so person to person. I see people who should be screaming, calm as a cucumber and people who feel pain 10 out of 10 and it just doesn't fit the average pattern. By the way...Bladder spasms are the worst thing I personally have ever felt and wouldn't wish those on anyone. Believe me, my pain tollerence is very high! Hang in there, communicate and know that these things don't last forever. Good luck to you.

Swim
 


divo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 12/4/2008 9:34 AM (GMT -6)   
You are right swimmom....I went for a walk and thought it was a little harsh! Sorry Dragon... you have been through a lot...The accident was the worst. Things will get better....Diane
Husband Pete
dx Jan 2001 age 67 gleason 4 + 3 PSA 16.5
seed implant and conformal radiation Lupron from Jan 2001 to Jan2002
2005 Dec PSA began to rise from .5 to 8 within 6 months
Salvage surgery at MSK 9/06
Fistula operation 2/07 MSK
Many cystoscopies and ER visits with strictures
catheter for one year....Catheter taken out Sept 07..
Total Incontinence since then....
PSA .52 3/07
AUS Operation at MSK Sept 8. Dr. Sandhu
Activated Oct 28th Dr. Sandhu..MSK
Some difficulty with AUS arising Nov 10 2008


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 12/4/2008 9:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Dragon, you have been through a lot, a whole lot, and it sounds like you are really pushing things a bit on the fast side. I am at the 3 week mark from my surgery, and I am still having big problems with bladder spasams. Had to call my doctor yesterday about that to get put on a new med to help. That pain can be a 10 of 10, as it feels your bladder will explode inside, as the urine is fighting to pass through your penis instead of the cath tube. Your accident made my incision hurt just reading about it, I am so tender, I am mostly afraid to be outside or in a car for the very reason you wrote.

Good luck on your healing, good luck on your future. As far as your GF, she does need to spend time here reading the trials and tribuations of every brave man and their other halves, in this terrible and very vicisios fight against the horrors of Prostate Cancer. There is no one way, one method, one recovery, etc, we are all different, and each react differently in our paths. You will make it brother, just dont beat yourself up to much, you are doing great so far.

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX
 
PSA 2007 5.8
PSA 7-2008 12.3
PSA 9-2008 14.9
 
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive
7 of 7 cores positive, ranging from 40 - 90%
2 tumours noted, Gleason 4+3 and 3+4
Periunual Invasion noted & High Grade PIN noted
 
Open RP surgery completed on Friday, November 14, 2008 at
St. Francis Hospital, Greenville, SC, Dr. Ronald Smith - Surgeon,
Nerve bundles not able to be spared, awaiting pathology report, Cath scheduled to be removed on 12-15-2008, staples removed 11-24-8


maldugs
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 789
   Posted 12/4/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Dragon, the issues that we all have post op can be difficult emotionally and physically, it takes the body a long time to settle down, the relationship with your partner will also settle I think, she is also in unfamiliar territory, it is difficult to cope with life changes that have occurred as a result of the surgery. It has been 17months since my surgery, in that time I have wet the bed 3 times in the middle of the night, which was hard on my wife having to wake up and change the bed, all sorts of things have happened, bowel probs, etc etc.

It takes a long time to start feeling more like your old self, which is where I am now, thankfully, so be patient my friend, after a period of time I am sure you also will reach that place.

Best regards Mal.


age 67 PSA 5.8 DRE slightly firm Rt
Biopsy 2nd July 07 5 out of 12 positive
Gleason 3+4=7  right side tumour adenocarcinoma stage T2a
RP on 30th July,
Post op Pathology, tumour stage T3a 4+3=7, microcsopic evidence of capsular penetration, seminal vessels, bladder neck, free of tumour, lymph nodes clear, no evidence of metastatic malignancy, tumour does not extend to the apical margins.
 
Post op PSA 0.5 26th Sept.
PSA 23rd Oct.0.5 seeing Radiation Onocologist 31st Oct.
Started radiation treatment on 5th Dec, to continue until 24 Jan. 08.
Finished treatment, next PSA on 30th April.
PSA 30th April 0.4
PSA 30th July 0.5
PSA 27th Oct 0.4 (I am now 68)


VaFan
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 203
   Posted 12/4/2008 8:53 PM (GMT -6)   

Dragon,

I think you are doing well. One Month out? Look, I always thought of myself as a fast healer and this, after hearing all the "well, if you gotta have cancer, this is the one to get" crap really had me down for a while, then I remembered to trust myself, listen to my body and know that I will heal in good time. Affects everyone differently and too many variables to make much sense out of comparisons, just stick to it and be positive you will be fine.

 Now I know why my Doctor wanted me to stay out of my MG though!!


Age 51 Kent Cindy 49
January 08 PSA 5.2 round of antibiotics went to 4.3
February 08 another round of antibiotics went to 4.2
March 17,08 had biopsy, 2 days later told cancer was on
one entire side of prostate.
Gleason 3+3
Doctor thinks its best to get the whole prostate with Perineal  Prostatectomy.
Surgery scheduled for this Thursday April 10th. Only took 1 1/2 hours. In recovery 1 hour.  Both nerves were spared.
Home 4-11. Cath out 4-22. Incision looks completly healed on the outside by 4-25.  Incontinence "a thing of the past" as of 5-28
lst PSA 0.04 June 3. YAY!!!
July 08 (3mths post op) Cialis 10 mg every other day. Right now, things are not looking so good in that department. Back on Viagra and ordered the pump 11-08
Aug 08 PSA 0.04 Yay Again!!
Nov 08 PSA 0


64dragon
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/4/2008 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to all of you that replied to my post.  I appreciate very much all that was said and the encouragement you gave me, Diane's included.  It takes a lot from a couple to get through these times, I went through a girlfriend having a female cancer in her early thirties before, which happened about thirteen years ago.  I am doing the best I can, and sometimes doing the best you can doesn't seem to be enough.  I am out of money and can't get work at the hospital where I make most of my money until I am completely off of light duty, which will be in a few weeks hopefully. No income from the month of November except for about 80 bucks for one shift worked at a sub job.  I will be working overnight tonight at a blind school, where I have to take every shift I can.  I do hope I can work without overdoing it, but I have little choice in the matter.  Having fibromaylgia, back and neck and related pain from that doesn't help any, and probably is causing further pain related to my bladder.  Also I already take ms contin for my chronic pain, which can contribute to more constipation.  I only take one third or two thirds at the most of what my pain management doc told me to take post surgery, as otherwise I am afraid I will go the unfortunate way of the late Great Elvis.  I seriously misread the sunny forecasts that many gave me, this was very intense surgery for me, perhaps having very painful bilateral inguinal hernia repairs in the past should have been the best indicator, and in fact that one may have added to the pain I have now, from previous scar tissue, etc.  I will try that probiotic, Diane, great idea.  I think maybe its a good idea to advise others to drive as little as possible after surgery, its just difficult and I started driving after a week and a half, just out of necessity.  I do try to be a good patient, honest!  I wondered, someone said something in a post about avoiding erections for a while, is this something that should be avoided for a certain number of weeks?  I know that intercourse should be until six weeks or later, but im not sure about the other stuff.  I want to do whatever is best for the long term lack of ED outcomes.  Thanks again, you all are great! cool
Diagnosed with Prostate cancer at age 43, September 05, 3008.
Prostatectomy with umbilical hernia repair on November 05, 2008.
Original PSA of 3.2 found on routine physical, biopsy revealed cancer in one of twelve sites, precancerous cells in two others. 
Radical prostatectomy with DaVinci robotic. Surgery performed by Dr. Peter Ruff.  Hospital:  St. David's North Austin Medical Center.  Fantastic Doctor and wonderful hospital staff...superb nurses.
Cancer was contained within prostate, found in 5% of prostate.  No metastis found in circulatory or lympatic systems. No cancer found post surgery.
Very few leaks since catheter removed on the eigth day, only use one pad per day, on average for minor leakage. 
Taking cialis for rehab. 
 
 


Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4835
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:31 AM (GMT -6)   

I've had two surgeries in my life..umbiliical hernia repair two years ago and the prostatectomy five months ago. It HURTS just thinking about doing em at the same time.

The hernia repair was a piece of cake compared to the PC surgery...But as you know, one little cough to clear your throat will bring tears to your eyes.

Are you taking stool softeners and or laxatives to help with the constipation?

 

 


Age 53   - 5'11"   205lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Gleason - 6
(biopsy done March 4, 2008-> 2 of 12)
 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
10/03/08 - 1st Quarter PSA -> less then .01
 

Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Las Colinas and Plano Offices

 


Lungman
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 276
   Posted 12/5/2008 8:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Dragon, this is no easy thing we have been through. The surgery itself is major, along with that the jolt from the accident, no wonder you are sore and having pain. It takes a tremendous amount of perseverance to get through this, esp as a couple. My wife was an angel, very understanding and patient. Recovery from the surgery takes different amounts of time for all of us, don't rush it, and don't feel like you are being a baby, these are major issues you are dealing with, but for the most part will pass in time. Please use this board to learn from, share with others your concerns, and help you find ways to deal with issues as they arise. Nothing is too small or insignificant to seek guidance for, we have all been there. I find great solace here, and chances are any problem you encounter, someone here has dealt with that also. Good Luck, you will get through this, it will test you in many ways, and your partner will have to understand that this is not something we chose to have, but you are still the same person, just with some temporary issues.

Randy
46 you when diagnosed, now 48
Pre-Op PSA 9.9
1 of 12 cores positive, Gleason 3+3
DaVinci on 9/5/2007
Post-Op Gleason 3+6, Negative Nodes and Margins
Less than 1% of prostate involved with CA
3 Month PSA 0.01, 6 Month PSA 0.01, 9 Month PSA 0.01
One Year PSA 0.01
Incontinence resolved 9/15/2007, one day after cath removal
ED showing significant improvement.
Occasional Success with Oral Meds
Success with BiMix


divo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 12/5/2008 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Dragon64, I think by signature, you were born in 1964. We were married in 1964.....So maybe that is why I connected with you. You are young and have a very good prognosis, you will be better and better each day, until you fully recover...Don't rush your recovery. The body knows what it needs.... I do think that couples are with each other for a reason, a season, or for life......My very best wishes for a happy and very healthy New Year.....Diane
Husband Pete
dx Jan 2001 age 67 gleason 4 + 3 PSA 16.5
seed implant and conformal radiation Lupron from Jan 2001 to Jan2002
2005 Dec PSA began to rise from .5 to 8 within 6 months
Salvage surgery at MSK 9/06
Fistula operation 2/07 MSK
Many cystoscopies and ER visits with strictures
catheter for one year....Catheter taken out Sept 07..
Total Incontinence since then....
PSA .52 3/07
AUS Operation at MSK Sept 8. Dr. Sandhu
Activated Oct 28th Dr. Sandhu..MSK
Some difficulty with AUS arising Nov 10 2008

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