Todd, the feelings you just expressed were so very accurate, and I sense that many if not most men here have felt at one time or the other, even if they don't want to admit it. I sometimes keep looking for the rewind button to take me back to the bliss before I got my pc dx back in Sept of last year, and sometimes, I even blame myself for being diligant about having regular psa tests, for being so d**** compliant. It's a cruel mind game sometimes, because the longer I didn't know about it, the worse it would become, at least my dr has/had me convinced of that point. I worry about my wife, without me working rightnow, I know she's working way too many hours making up for it, I feel guilty that I can't do all the things for her that i could before, etc, etc. I too had a bummed out day on my own today, but trying to snap out of it, trying to focus on what you were saying in your post, to get out of the funk. You are a great guy fighting a hell of a fight, and now I feel bad because I know you bear must worse burdens because of PC than I am. Perhaps we all need a good cheering up. May only the best happen for you.
David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX
PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, ranging from 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery November 14, 2008 at St. Francis Hospital, Greenville, SC, Dr. Ronald Smith - Surgeon, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days in hospital, staples removed 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8 on day 32. Day 33, urine stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. After 7 hours, complete stoppage again, emergency room put in Catheter #3 early evening of day 45, still 12/29/08. 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - Had operation St. Francis - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, suppose to be removed 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:
Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c pN0 pMx, Prostate 42 grams, tumor 20% cancer
Contained in capsular, neg. margins apex, bladder neck, right lobe, neg. in seminal vessels and lymph nodes.
First PSA Post Surgery Scheduled now for 2/9/9