Post-op sex life

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Gerbe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 1/8/2009 10:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I've barely started, but I had a few questions about post-op sex life:
(1)  Does erection become separated from orgasm?  Seems like I can have an erection, but that may fade and orgasm may come later.  Could it be that groups of nerves have literally become separated, no longer acting in concert? What is the impact of that?
(2)  Is frequency still related to horniness?  Before, my desire to have sex was related to how often I had it.  When my 'strategic reserves' were down, I was not horny, but if time passed I became horny.  Since I no longer have 'strategic reserves', is frequency a factor or does one have a steady-state desire?
(3)  In general, I hear and I believe I am experiencing, the need for more stimulation.  What experiences do people have with how that affects love play with partner, for good or bad?
(4)  I also noticed that my 'card deck' became confused.  How does one still maintain the strong primal urge towards intercourse when 'the goods' will not be delivered (procreation drive)?  The cards in my deck have all switched to pity sex, the naughty nymph mode is gone.
 
What tricks, tips and ways to mentally buff up does anyone suggest? 
 
Any meaningful citations out there?
 
Thanks one and all.

This moment, here and now, is nothing less than the totality of existence.
I can't control my life, but I can influence this moment.


Age 59
PSAs 1.6, 1.8, 2.0 at yearly intervals, mild DRE finding (hindsight unrelated) lead to biopsy
3/08 1st biopsy, 18 core. Pathologist 1, HPIN and ASAP, 0.5mm 1 core. Pathologist 2, carcinoma
7/08 2nd biopsy, 16 core. Pathologist 1, 1 core carcinoma. Pathologist 3, 3 cores carcinoma
Urologist retired. Referred to another Dr in same practice, not experienced enough.
12/22/08, robotic davinci at U of Washington Med Center, Dr. William Ellis. 6 hr procedure. Both nerves spared.
12/31/08 catheter out 
Final path report:
79 g prostate gland
1.5 cm^3 cancerous (<5%), bilateral, T2c, Gleason 3+4
Margins clear, seminal vessels clear, 14 lymph nodes negative
Aftermath notes:
Dry immediately after catheter out.
ED - some nocturnal erections even with catheter.
1st orgasm at two week mark. 50% erect, BJ w/o the mustard.
Needs more stimulation, orgasm ok, but my 'card deck' is confused, need to reprogram what this is for. 
 


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 1/8/2009 11:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Your surgery is barely over (congratulations on a great outcome so far). Be patient a bit longer as some of what you are experiencing is related to localized surgical truama. The male orgasm is seperate (physically) from an erection by the way.

Swim
 


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25382
   Posted 1/8/2009 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Gerbe, what did you mean when you postd "w/o the mustard", I didn't get that at all. Sounds like you are doing amazingly well, your cath has only been out for 8 days and you are dry and attempting sex? You sound like superman!

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX
PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, ranging from 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery  November 14, 2008 at St. Francis Hospital, Greenville, SC, Dr. Ronald Smith - Surgeon, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days in hospital, staples removed 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8 on day 32.  Day 33, urine stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08.  After 7 hours, complete stoppage again, emergency room put in Catheter #3 early evening of day 45, still 12/29/08. 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, further tests/treatments 1/9/8.
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:
Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c pN0 pMx, Prostate 42 grams, tumor 20% cancer
Contained in capsular, neg. margins apex, bladder neck, right lobe, neg. in seminal vessels and lymph nodes.
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


Gerbe
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 1/8/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Mustard was just my obscure phrase for what used to come out.

This moment, here and now, is nothing less than the totality of existence.
I can't control my life, but I can influence this moment.


Age 59
PSAs 1.6, 1.8, 2.0 at yearly intervals, mild DRE finding (hindsight unrelated) lead to biopsy
3/08 1st biopsy, 18 core. Pathologist 1, HPIN and ASAP, 0.5mm 1 core. Pathologist 2, carcinoma
7/08 2nd biopsy, 16 core. Pathologist 1, 1 core carcinoma. Pathologist 3, 3 cores carcinoma
Urologist retired. Referred to another Dr in same practice, not experienced enough.
12/22/08, robotic davinci at U of Washington Med Center, Dr. William Ellis. 6 hr procedure. Both nerves spared.
12/31/08 catheter out 
Final path report:
79 g prostate gland
1.5 cm^3 cancerous (<5%), bilateral, T2c, Gleason 3+4
Margins clear, seminal vessels clear, 14 lymph nodes negative
Aftermath notes:
Dry immediately after catheter out.
ED - some nocturnal erections even with catheter.
1st orgasm at two week mark. 50% erect, BJ w/o the mustard.
Needs more stimulation, orgasm ok, but my 'card deck' is confused, need to reprogram what this is for. 
 


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25382
   Posted 1/8/2009 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
oops (blush), I don't always get the obvious lol.
Age 56, 56 at DX
PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, ranging from 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery  November 14, 2008 at St. Francis Hospital, Greenville, SC, Dr. Ronald Smith - Surgeon, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days in hospital, staples removed 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8 on day 32.  Day 33, urine stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08.  After 7 hours, complete stoppage again, emergency room put in Catheter #3 early evening of day 45, still 12/29/08. 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, further tests/treatments 1/9/8.
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:
Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c pN0 pMx, Prostate 42 grams, tumor 20% cancer
Contained in capsular, neg. margins apex, bladder neck, right lobe, neg. in seminal vessels and lymph nodes.
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


alex1
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 1/8/2009 12:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Gerbe:

Congratulations on a successfull phase I. As you can see from my signature, our cases are fairly similar except that I'm ten months ahead of you. For me, orgasm and erection are pretty much separate-I could (and did) enjoy orgasm long before reasonable erections came back. Don't worry about the "primal urge" disappearing-that hasn't been a problem-the only issue is what to do about it. As to stimulation-yes, much more manual (and other) stimulation is necessary to achieve a satisfactory erection. Everybody's different, but in my case at ten months out, I am just beginning to have reasonable erections without additional medical help. Simply put, the advice given by others on this site remains: if your surgeon did his job right, just be patient-you'll very likely get back to a very enjoyable sex life.
58-year old attorney, no family history of PCa
Biopsy 12/29/2007 with 1 of thirteen samples positive; estimated 5% involvement
3+3=6 Gleason
TR2C Stage
RRLP on 2/21/2008 with excellent prognosis (no evidence;margins and other tissue clear) on cancer clearance and sparing of both nerve bundles
Post-OP:Actual involvement 15%, one lobe only; PCa fully contained in prostate-no involvement with other tissues and margins clear
Catheter out on 3/2/2008; fully continent by 3/31/2008
Undetectable PSA on 3/31/2008
Working on ED: 20MG Levitra every other day; Vacuum pump almost daily; some improvement, but not there yet. Started using MUSE with some success, 11/1/2008
2d undectable PSA on 7/21/2008
3d undectable PSA on 10/30/2008

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