When the wife wants a little

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Todd1963
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3257
   Posted 1/22/2009 8:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Today my wonderful wife sent me a text message. "make me feel like a woman tonight" Oh boy I can hardly wait. What does she expect me to do. Oh sure I will pop a little blue pill and make it work but I dont even care about sex anymore. I dont desire it I dont need it I really dont want it. My wife does though and there lies the problem. My sweetheart tolerates my pca. She has put up with so much and given up even more. Lupron took away my libido and pca took away my ability to have normal orgasms. She will never have a normal intimate relationship with a man. At least not until I die. So tonight before she gets home I will shower, build a fire, have dinner ready and wine chilled, and be a good husband and take my pill and endure a 4 hour headache to make my wife remember that there is still a portion of the man she married inside this body that probably wont last too many years. I think this is the worst part of pca. It steals the intimacy that a husband and wife share. It steals masculinity. I dont worry too much that I may only live a few more years. I worry that when I do die my wife is going to be alone and wondering why she wasted her best years and got nothing in return. Todd
dx:06/03/06
Age at dx: 42 age now 45
Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.
Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 
Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung
P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14
Began lupron and casodex
Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.
Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area
Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7
P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09
Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months
Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal
Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!!


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 1/22/2009 8:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd, I think you captured the entire escence of that subject in your post beautifully. It literally made a tear or two reading it. Way to go brother!!

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8. Stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. Emergency room put in Catheter # day 45, 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, 1/19/9 -out
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grams, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


Amy41
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 1/22/2009 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Tony - you aint gone yet - she will not think her time was wasted.
This is a learning life experience that I didn't want to have - but I'm having it now and will survive it and come out okay on the other side - which I don't want to come anytime soon.
 
Yep I'm missing that part of our relationship and hoping some of it comes back - maybe a imitrix chaser after the little blue bill to get those brain blood vessels flowing again or a little canadian pill of caffeine codiene and asprin can kill those headaches
 
Am I sad that part is gone - yes - I'm more sad that my hubbys cancer like yours was not caught sooner and that we aren't going to grow old together.  Now that his bone mets have healed up - and he is feeling better we will investigate getting him some little blue pills - but you know closeness and kindness count for alot.
 
 
 
 
 

smc64
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 1/22/2009 8:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd,

I don't think you really believe your wife would ever wonder that. You're at a place most of us could never understand...don't know what to say other than, hang in there.

best wishes
Age 44, DX 12/08
Psa 2.6 free 11%
One of twelve cores pos. with 5% pc Gleason 6 3+3


Todd1963
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3257
   Posted 1/22/2009 8:51 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you David, Amy, and Andrew. "haw haw, sounds like a country band" thank you as well smc64. I dont know that Amanda will ever say think that but I know she wanted more children and I have heard her cry herself to sleep at night and I know its because she feels unattractive. I feel as though she is wasting her best years even though she may not. I wish she would leave and I pray that she never does. I need her and I love her. I just wish I could make her smile that naughty little smile that use to mean so much that words were never needed.

dx:06/03/06
Age at dx: 42 age now 45
Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.
Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 
Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung
P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14
Began lupron and casodex
Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.
Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area
Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7
P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09
Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months
Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal
Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!!


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd, you know already that true love overcomes all the bad in life and in this world, and from the months I have gotten to know you here, I feel confident that you two are the real thing together. My wife of almost 35 years has been so wonderful to me and for me through all my ordeal of PC, she has never complained to me or anyone else in the family. She a wonderful, loving wife, and a wonderful and caring nurse by profession, what a combination. I know that her patients get the best of care. Without my wife be there for me all the way, not sure I would doing even as well as I have. Perhaps there are other ways you two can still be naughty together. Best to you brother.

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8. Stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. Emergency room put in Catheter # day 45, 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, 1/19/9 -out
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grams, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey living1963,
Let's reverse the situation and put yourself in her place. And by that I mean assume she is the one with a cancer................at what point would you think the time with her was wasted. There's your answer right there, at no time. I don't doubt that as you surely do, she counts every single moment as precious. Her "slap and tickle" invitation shows you how much you mean to her. Way to go mate!
Bill
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07
4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
PSA August 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
Post-op pathology rechecked by new lab:
Gleason downgraded to 4+3=7
Focal extension comprised of grade 3 cells
PSA September 08 <0.01 (new lab)


DJBearGuy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 818
   Posted 1/22/2009 9:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd,

You are a poet and you moved me. But that doesn't solve your problem.
For various reasons, including being a bit older than you, my wife and I have some time ago given higher priority to other kinds of intimacy. Can it work for you? It's a personal journey. I can say from experience that there are therapists who are actually good at working with couples on these kinds of things. But they can be hard to find. In the meantime, you have us here on the forum. I'm hoping that some of the more (sorry amy41, missed you the first time) wives on board will chime in.

DJ
Diagnosis at age 53. PSA 2007 about 2; PSA 2008 4.3
Biopsy September 2008: 6 of 12 cores positive; Gleason 4+3 = 7
CT and Bone scan negative
Da Vinci surgery at City of Hope December 8, 2008
Radical prostatectomy and lymph node dissection
Catheter out on 7th day, replaced on 8th day, out again 14th day following negative cystogram
pT2c; lymph nodes negative; microscopic margins
PSA 1/22/08 non-detectable! 8-)

Post Edited (DJBearGuy) : 1/23/2009 7:52:11 AM (GMT-7)


Bluenose
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 260
   Posted 1/22/2009 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   

 

    "...wasted her best years and got nothing in return..."  ????????  Sorry brother, this ain't poetry, it's self pity.......pull yourself up out of that ditch and be the man you are....be the man she married, suck it up!.......Good luck brother...


 
  age: 53  Pre-op PSA Feb 08' 5.0, April 08' 4.1
  Biopsy 5.1.08, 5 of 15 cores postive, T2a, Gleason 3+4=7
  DaVinci performed 7.29.08
  Bladder sling installed, umbilical hernia repaired during surgery.
  Path report, "cancer fully contained, margins clear".
  Cath removed 8.8.08, ED therapy begins 8.9.08
  100mg Viagra three times a week, pump for ten minutes daily
  and hold for ten minutes.
  8.16.08 switched to Levitra 20mg, immediate results
  9.15.08 Pad free at night, one thin (light) pad during the day
  9.18.08 1st Post-op PSA Undetectable Zero's....Yes!
  12.22.08 2nd Post-op PSA  Zero's still...
  Pads gone 1.3.09, finally found the courage...Thanks ya'll
          ".....tryin' to reason with hurricane season...."
       


divo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 1/22/2009 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh dear Todd, Some time ago I downloaded one of my favorite songs....by the Eagles...."I can't tell you why"....I listen to it a lot.. My dear husband, Pete, and I have not had intercourse for almost eight years.....But he is still MY MAN....He has been there for me for almost forty years...since I was nineteen....We have three grown children, and he is in bed now as I write this...I have tears for you....and for me and for Pete and for lots of others who have this kind of illness thrust on all of us. Believe me, your wife is feeling the same as you are....but even more helpless. We dont even know how to make you feel better. You are amazing... Just believe that your wife loves YOU...not your appendage.....YOU are the wonderful man that wrote that post and has the deep feelings for your wife. I will read your letter to Pete tomorrow and he will understand your letter, and I will explain to him my feelings. Thank you for your truly honest posting.....You have helped many by your honesty. xxDiane
Husband Pete
dx Jan 2001 gleason 4 + 3 PSA 16.5
Seed implant and conformal radiation and Lupron from Jan 2001 to Jan2002
2005 Dec PSA began to rise from .5 to 8 within 6 months
Salvage surgery at MSK 9/06 Dr. Eastham
Fistula operation 2/07 MSK Dr. Wong
Many cystoscopies and ER visits with strictures
Catheter for one year....Catheter taken out Sept 07..
Total Incontinence since then....
PSA .52 3/08
AUS Operation at MSK Sept 8 2008 Dr. Sandhu
Activated Oct 28th Dr. Sandhu..MSK
Some difficulty with AUS arising Nov 10 2008
Meeting with Dr. Sandhu to discuss AUS problems and new PSA test Dec 11, 2008
PSA .6 12/08
AUS improving..only 2 pads a day and one at night
Complete hip replacement surgery Dr. Waters Gainesville, FL 1/9/09
Forging ahead to health!


Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 1/22/2009 11:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd,
Sorry I didn't call you back today. I would in a few but I am not going to interupt. I fully understand your thoughts. I wrote something similar two years ago. Ruthie and I lost a baby in 1998, the same day we lost my step father to cancer. We agreed to try again, but we waited a while. I was dealing with slight ED when I went in for a check up, our goal was to get the pills and even though we were in or close to our forties, we wanted a baby. Instead we found my cancer. I don't know what to make of these things, but I know this much. As much as I feel deprived of my sex life, I feel the warmth of her love in every other possible way. But inside me, instead of that hoped for one year old baby here today, I still have a bit of a broken heart...

Thank you very much for that beautiful post. I do get it.

Peace and Love to you, Todd. And may God bless you, too.

Tony
Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8 : Surgery at The City of Hope on February 15, 2007
Geason 4+3=7, Stage pT3b, N0, Mx
Positive Margins (PM), Extra Prostatic Extension (EPE) : Bilateral Seminal vesicle invasion (SVI)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg (2 Year ADT)
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (January 13, 2009): <0.1
 
My Journal is at Tony's Blog  
 
STAY POSITIVE!


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 1/23/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Diane - your sentiments toward Pete are what I expected, made me feel good to read it. My wife and discussed in depth the possibility that I might never have normal intercourse again, we have been married too long to have our relationship defined by me having a working penis or not. And I am not saying that I won't mend in that dept. Way too early for me, haven't even worried about that once. She had just turned 18 when we got married, me, not long out of the Navy, been together ever since. When your other half is also your best friend, nothing physical is going to get in the way. But then, you already know that. Give my best to the sleeping Pete, tell him take another walk around the block for me
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8. Stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. Emergency room put in Catheter # day 45, 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, 1/19/9 -out
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grams, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


DJBearGuy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 818
   Posted 1/23/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Todd,

I hope the discussion is starting to help you. And you know, you get credit for bringing up the topic, and starting the discussion that I feel is helping a lot of us. Folks who have been here a long time are (I think) saying some things for the first time. It all seems supportive, but is it helping you? You are a little younger than a lot of us.

DJ
Diagnosis at age 53. PSA 2007 about 2; PSA 2008 4.3
Biopsy September 2008: 6 of 12 cores positive; Gleason 4+3 = 7
CT and Bone scan negative
Da Vinci surgery at City of Hope December 8, 2008
Radical prostatectomy and lymph node dissection
Catheter out on 7th day, replaced on 8th day, out again 14th day following negative cystogram
pT2c; lymph nodes negative; microscopic margins
PSA 1/22/08 non-detectable! 8-)


Todd1963
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3257
   Posted 1/23/2009 10:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Last night It didnt happen. We had the wine the dinner the candles the fire and we fell asleep on the chase lounge wrapped up under a blanket. Is it feeling self pity. My wife and I had both been married before. We knew each other 3 yrs and were married 6 months before my dx. We are truly best friends and share everything in our lives together. I must give her a lot of credit. She hasn't left me nor will she but it is tremendously hard on her. She is younger than I am. She can still have children and her "clock" is ticking. I see the hurt in her eyes. I feel her body tremble as she weeps. I hold her close and caress her but that isnt always enough. Sometimes I do believe she should leave me. I know she wont. She is remarkable in many ways. Todd

dx:06/03/06
Age at dx: 42 age now 45
Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.
Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 
Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung
P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14
Began lupron and casodex
Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.
Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area
Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7
P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09
Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months
Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal
Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!!


Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 1/23/2009 10:44 AM (GMT -6)   
You too, Todd,
Answer the phone!

Tony
Age 46 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8 : Surgery at The City of Hope on February 15, 2007
Geason 4+3=7, Stage pT3b, N0, Mx
Positive Margins (PM), Extra Prostatic Extension (EPE) : Bilateral Seminal vesicle invasion (SVI)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg (2 Year ADT)
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (January 13, 2009): <0.1
 
My Journal is at Tony's Blog  
 
STAY POSITIVE!


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 1/23/2009 10:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Todd, my wife and I would still consider your evening last night a great evening. Glad you still had a special time together. The things you just said about your marriage, I understand where your heart is at, and that is what counts the most. The grief you two share about such personal matters can be felt by others. You are still living, and still loving one another. Anything else is just extras. Everyman here with PCa has had their previous life and reality changed forever, by one degree or the other, and nobody likes that part, it isn't fair, probably isn't just from our point of view, but as my ex-boss use to say constantly, "it is what it is". Keep on fighting, all the way.
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8. Stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. Emergency room put in Catheter # day 45, 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, 1/19/9 -out
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grams, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


Todd1963
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3257
   Posted 1/23/2009 12:41 PM (GMT -6)   
David, You are correct. It was a very nice evening. We have many of those and I am greatful for them. Sometimes we simply have too many of them though. Tonight we may try again. I am not sure at this point however because we have to leave the house @ 5:45 and head to the Mt. Adams gifford pinchot national forest to ride snowmobiles with about 10 other couples.. I try to explain to Amanda that I do want to be with her but I get up at 5:30 every morning and by the time we have dinner clean up and put the daughter to bed it is 9pm and I am exhausted. We need to get away for a weekend and devote the entire time to each other and intimacy. That would be my biggest mistake. Not making time for us time. It was easy when I had testosterone and love making was all I ever thought of but now it is not something I think about and She wonders if I am gay. Too funny in a sick sort of way. Todd
dx:06/03/06
Age at dx: 42 age now 45
Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.
Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 
Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung
P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14
Began lupron and casodex
Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.
Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area
Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7
P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09
Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months
Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal
Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!!


Tony Crispino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 1/23/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd,
The girls keep us strong don't they!  My wife has stood with me through it all incredably.  It makes me think of Tammy Wynettes "Stand by Your Man"...
 
I have linked one of the most impressive performances of that song...But this time it's Carrie Underwood handing out the goosebumps...Turn it up and check it out:
 
 
Peace to you , my Country Music buddy...
 
Tony

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 1/23/2009 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd, we mostly believe you aren't gay. lol. Seriously your post made sense to me, and I am sure you wife understands. My wife hates the winter months, even here in SC, we are going to do a nice couple trip in a week or 2 to Charleston on the coast, about 200 miles from where I live, just for us.
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3, 9/8 14.9, 10/8 16.4
3rd Biopsy 9-2008 Positive 7 of 7 cores positive, 40 - 90%, G 4+3 & 3+4
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, Catheter out on 12/15/8. Stopped flowing, new catheter put in 12/16/08, Catheter out 12/29/08. Emergency room put in Catheter # day 45, 1/5/9 - Cath #3 out, dr. did cycloscope, saw potential blockage, put in Catheter #4, 1/13/9 - removed blockage, put in Cath #5, 1/19/9 -out
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grams, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery  Scheduled now for 2/9/9
 
 


gpg
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 1/23/2009 6:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Todd,

I am just coming on your story tonight.

Vandy has told me many times that if we never.. again she is fine as long as I look at her with desire and hold and touch her. We have been married for 28 years. She marvels that I am willing to inject myself for what she refers to as her pleasure and I dream of our years before the disease.

The orals don't work for me, and when I try them they make me feel crappy. Even though they do work physiologicaly for you you might want to try injecting. I does not have the systemic side effects.

It is very clear you love each other and will always.

Scott
Diagnosed @ 48yo 04/07
focal, low volume tumor gleason 6
RRP 07/30/07
Persistance of PSA
IMRT 11/07-01/08
Emerg, cysto obstructed bladder 01/08
Persistance of PSA
08/08 learned Dr. left significant amount of prostate
12/08 saturation biopsy 36 cores 24 having normal prostate tissue
12/08 referred whole to med malprac attorney


livinadream
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 1/24/2009 10:01 PM (GMT -6)   

It is times like this that I would like to explore our humanness and the grace and love of which we were created. I do however know how that is received here so I will for go it. Todd, just know that I truly feel your emotions and love for your wife. My heart goes out to the both of you. My wife and I are in the same boat and it doesn't get any easier. I will call you early in the week.'

 

Love you my friend

Dale


My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 46 (current)
My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
Casodex
Currently on Lupron
I go to The Cancer Treatment Center of America
Married with two kids
latest PSA 5-27-08 0.11
PSA July 24th, 2008 is 0.04
PSA Dec 16th, 2008 is .06
Testosterone keeps rising, the current number is 156, up from 57 in May
cancer in 4 of 6 cores
92%
80%
37%
28%
 


Bob D
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 1/25/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   

"Today my wonderful wife sent me a text message. "make me feel like a woman tonight" !!! tongue

Wow Todd, do you know how fortunate you are to have such a woman? Many men here would love to hear those words from their lady.

I have the good fortune to have such a woman and she is one of the reasons I have had such a fantastic recovery in especially in the ED department.

No matter what happens please let her know how much she means to you !!

Good luck!!

Bob


    1. Age 59, psa 4.7 in Jan. 08. Biopsy: one positive sample out of 13. 1% of one sample cancer. Prostate removed on 3/5/08. Open Surgery. Northeast Georgia Medical Center, Gainesville Ga. Nerves spared. Cath out 12 days later. Continence good. No pads needed since 6/10/08. First PSA: Less than 0.1 on 6/17/08. First erection five days post op and have been improving well since then. Full erection now possible (less than four months post op) with the assistance of Cialis.  Post Op Biopsy : No malignant cells in lymph node. Gleason 3=4=7. Tumor on both lobes. Urethral margins/apex free of neoplasia. Right and left seminal vesicles free of neoplasia. No invasion of prostatic capsule of the resection margins are noted by the tumor. Tumor occupies 10 to15% of the prostate gland. Path staging T2c, NO, MX- Group staging II.  Focal areas of perineural invasion by tumor are noted. 80% natural erections and full erections with 10mg Cialis. 9/22/08-Took 10mg Cialis on Monday night, had very usable full hard erection at night, the next morning, and the following Thursday morning, 60 hours after original dose !! Orgasm quality Excellent.!!!!! I am pleased with the progress so far. Married to same wonderful woman for 39 years. She is still beautiful and sexy as ever. A great help in my recovery !!:


biker90
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1464
   Posted 1/26/2009 12:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Todd,

Your cancer is much more severe than mine but I wonder what you have done so far for your ED.

After surgery I had low testosterone (had been on T injections for 10 years prior) and the ensuing reaction took away my libido. During this time my wife and I discovered different ways to satisfy her. After the low T problem was solved I started using Viagra and L_Arginine. These did not produce a useable erection so I went to injections. I use Trimix now and it always works and stays up longer than I can use it.

I don't know what all problems you Lupron guys face or if injections even work for you but it might be worth asking your doctor.

Jim
Age 74. Diagnosed 11/03/06. PSA 7.05. Stage T2C Gleason 3+3.
RRP 12/7/06. Nerves and nodes okay.
Catheter out on 12/13/06.  Dry on 12/14/06.
Pathological stage: T2C N0 MX. Gleason 3+4.
50 mg Viagra + 1000 mg L-Arginine + .03 cc Trimix = Excellent Results
PSAs from  1/3/07 - 7/17/08 0.00. 
Next PSA test on 1/28/09
Lung cancer dxed on 5/16/08.  Surgery on 6/25/08  T1N1M0 - Stage IIA  Finished 4 cycles of chemo on 11/7/08.
CT scan on 12/2/08 - in remission!!!
Next scan on 2/26/09.
"Patience is essential, attitude is everything."


Todd1963
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3257
   Posted 1/26/2009 12:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for all of the well recieved advice. It is all good stuff. I broke another computer so I will be hit and miss on my posts and replies for a short time but I look forward to yacking with you all again soon. Todd
dx:06/03/06
Age at dx: 42 age now 45
Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.
Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 
Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung
P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14
Began lupron and casodex
Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.
Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area
Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7
P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09
Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months
Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal
Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!!

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