Pad absorbancy

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 2/9/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Four weeks after surgery and I'm leaking as previously discussed on this forum and men such as Astro also complain about. Now heres the rub. I just had an argument with my wife about the pad type and absorbancy. She bought me a light womans pad. I bought a mens extra absorbancy. She argues that the more a pad absorbs, the less I want to control my bladder and the longer I will leak. I argue that I constantly try to control the leaking and more absorbancy protects better. I also argue that the mens pads fit better. She is stubborn. What is your take on pad type and absorbancy?

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25382
   Posted 2/9/2009 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Sam, I have to answer yours right away. And I hate to take side with you and your wife. I agree with you at this point. She is mistaken if she thinks that at 4 weeks after surgery, you can "will" yourself dryer by being on women's pads, just doesn't work that way. The women's ones are great when you don't need much, just the dribbe or sneeze leak kind of thing. The mens one, are designed wider at the top where you need them, and would fit better.

If she still doesnt believe you, then perhaps she should sit down with your urologist and have him/her explain how the bladder control works with men after this type of surgery.

Thank goodness my wife is a nurse and naturally understands these things. Good luck brother, you are doing well, and hope you do better still.

Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3
3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Non-nerve sparing, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9/9

Doting Daughter
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1064
   Posted 2/9/2009 12:05 PM (GMT -6)   
This discussion seems all too familiar. I agree with you on the absorbancy part and in addition, men's and women's pads can be contoured differently. We found that there was a difference for my dad even between brands. Certain pads didn't stay in place quite as well. He also found that with the extra absorbency pads, he didn't have to change them as much, which was especially important once he returned to work and normal social functions.
I understand your wife's rational, but it is different than potty training at this point and you will not want to be toting around a bunch of thin pads that you will have to change all the time. My father had problems with this in the beginning, because most of the men's restrooms don't have trash bins in the stalls and you obviously can't flush the pad down the toilets. As David said, you are just out of surgery and while your wife's intentions are good, from my family's experience, you might need a little more time. Good luck on your road to dryness.
Father's Age 62 (now 63)
Original Gleason 3+4=7, Post-Op Gleason- 4+3=7,
DaVinci Surgery Aug 31, 2007
Focally Positive Right Margin, One positive node. T3a N1 M0.
Bone Scan/CT Negative (Sept. 10, 2007)
Oct. 17 PSA 0.07
Nov. 13 PSA 0.05
Casodex adm. Nov 07, Lupron beg. Dec 03, 2007 2 yrs
Radiation March 03-April 22, 2008- 8 weeks 5x a week
July 2, 08 PSA <.02
Oct. 10, 08 PSA <.02
Praying for a cured dad.

Co-Moderator Prostate Cancer Forum

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 180
   Posted 2/9/2009 1:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Sam, I have tried the womans pads not as an incentive to control just thought I would try it. NOT!

Good luck. Scott
Diagnosed @ 48yo 04/07
focal, low volume tumor gleason 6
RRP 07/30/07
Persistance of PSA
IMRT 11/07-01/08
Emerg, cysto obstructed bladder 01/08
Persistance of PSA
08/08 learned Dr. left significant amount of prostate
12/08 PCA3 negative
12/08 saturation biopsy 36 cores 24 having normal prostate tissue
12/08 referred whole to med malprac attorney

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4840
   Posted 2/9/2009 2:17 PM (GMT -6)   
And in the for what it's worth catagory - I kind of like the "Mind over Bladder" idea.
At my first 3 month doc visit,I was wearing 1 to 2 pads a day...My surgeon said he wanted me off the pads by the next three month visit. He said it like I had some sort of choice in the matter..
Very next day (which was a Saturday) I didn't use a pad and haven't used one since.
Age 53   - 5'11"   205lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
Catheter in for five weeks.
Dry after 3 months.
10/03/08 - 1st Quarter PSA -> less then .01
01/16/09 - 2nd Quarter PSA -> less then .01
Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Ken S
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 2/9/2009 3:02 PM (GMT -6)   

I wear one pad a day for stress incontinence. If I'm doing anything strenuous - shoveling snow, moving a pile of gravel or such the pad is full at the end of the day. A non-strenuous day a spot the size of a couple half dollars.

Every now and then I will have an accident even with a pad, not because it's full but because the little guy flops to one side and peeks out just enough to create a spot. I can't imagine wearing a women's panty liner the little fellow would never stay put.

Age 54 (2006)
PSA: 2005 - 3.2, 2006 - 3.7
Biopsy 8/06, Gleason 6 (3+3), T1c
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy 11/3/06
Memorial Hospital, Pawtucket, RI
Post-Op Biopsy, Gleason 6 (3+3), T2c,
right apical margin positive
CT Scan 1/07, tumor discovered on right
kidney (unrelated to PCa)
Partial Nephrectomy 3/9/07
R.I. Hospital, Providence, RI
IMRT (37 Treatments) 4/23/07 - 6/14/07
PSA: 11/08 - 0.03

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 2/9/2009 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I had the urologist say that to me.......about not wearing a light pad otherwise I might continue to leak slightly. Fair crack of the whip. Does he really think that because I'm wearing an ultralight pad I'll just stand there and piss myself a little rather than try and control it. I lose a drop or two when I really exert myself and I have taught myself to "squeeze before I sneeze" or "grip before I rip". Sometimes I believe those docs should get out and indulge in a little heavy manual labour and real physical exertion before uttering silliness like that.
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07
4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
PSA August 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
Post-op pathology rechecked by new lab:
Gleason downgraded to 4+3=7
Focal extension comprised of grade 3 cells
PSA September 08 <0.01 (new lab)

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25382
   Posted 2/9/2009 4:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Billy, I fully agree with your sentiments on this one. Sounds like something someone would say that has never dealt with this issue first hand. Myself, I am learning to squeeze before a sneeze or big cough, still haven't quite got the passing gas routine perfect yet, but still working on it. lol.

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3
3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 966
   Posted 2/9/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
David the passing gas...that will be the toughest part. To this day I still have to concentrate really hard before passing any gas (which for some reason seems to be more since surgery. Don't understand that one). Seems like when I relax just enough to pass the gas...I leak at the same time. Haven't figured how to control the muscles correctly yet without doing both at the same time. I find it just easier to hold the gas and find a restroom and then relieve both.
You are beating back cancer, so hold your head up with dignity
Age 58 at Diagnosis
Oct 2006 - PSA 2.6 - DRE Normal
May 2008 - PSA 4.6 - DRE Normal / TRUS normal-Gland 38 cc
July 2008 - Biopsy 4 of 12 Positive 5 - 30% Involved Bilateral (Perineural Invasion present at base) - Gleason (3+3) 6  Stage T1C
August 23 - Bone Scan - Hips, Spine and ribs marked uptake - X-Ray showed clear -Hooray
Sept 9 2nd DRE - questionable - TRUS...shadow in base - Gland now 41 cc
Robotic Surgery Sept 18, 2008
Pathology October 1, 2008 - Gleason 7 (4+3) Staged pT2c NO MX - Gland 50 cc
Seminal Vesicles and Lymph Nodes clear
Positive Margins Right Posterior Lobe
4 tumors in prostate - largest being 6 cm 
PSA 5 week Oct 2008 <.05
       3 month Jan 2009 .06

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 194
   Posted 2/9/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Same here with the gas passing, it causes a leak nearly every time. Coughs and sneezes no problem but with the gas I'm glad I have a male guard on.
Age at DX 57
5-18-07 PSA 7.7
5-06-08 PSA 4.6  8% free psa, but stable
10-23-08 PSA 5.65 4% free psa
11-04-08 biopsy
11-11-08 2 of 12 cores positive
Gleason 3+3  6  stage t1c / post-op 3+4  7  stage t2c
CT and Bone scan negative
Da Vinci RRP 01-09-09
Catheter removed 1-15-09
Pathology Report says it's gone!
First Post-op PSA due 2-17-09

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25382
   Posted 2/9/2009 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree Les and Sandstorm, as a normal gross guy, the passing of wind was an art form to me, taught it to my sons (make your daddy proud), so now its hard not to just pop one off at will. I too, try to be dignified and make it to a bathroom and deal with it. lol. at first, the coughing or sneezing was hard, but got that down to a science for the most part.
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3
3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 3/4/2009 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I understand (but do not agree with) your wife's approach. For a similar reason, i refuse to wear a condom catheter; I feel that it would "teach" me to be incontinent, rather than pressing me toward continence.
For practical reasons, I don't believe that the same is true for pads or diapers. I now am 11 weeks post-RRP da Vinci style, and am incontinent. I use approx. 6 Depends Super Absorbency diapers per day. Early on,I tried using the Poise pad insert. The volume of fluid exiting as I rose from lying down or a seated position was too much for the Poise pad to handle, and usually resulted in overflow. Not a mind over matter situation - just real life.
Last PSA prior to biopsy  -  11.9
Biopsy  -  8/7/2008
Cancer findings at left lateral and left medial apex of prostate
Gleason score  -  3+3 = 6
Staging  -  T1c
Prostate size/weight  -  128 cc./ 99 grams
Bone and CT scans  -  9/12/2008  -  both clear
Age at biopsy  -  65         Health  -  Excellent  (Lift weights, play golf & tennis (incl. singles))
da Vinci RP surgery  -  12/15/2008 at Naples Hosp.
Surgeon  -  Dr. Wm. Figlesthaler
Hosp. Stay  -  1 night
Catheter removed  -  12/23/2008
Post-Op blood test  -  2/2/2009     PSA  -  undetectable
Scheduled for 12 weeks biofeedback, starting 3/3/2009

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 883
   Posted 3/5/2009 8:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I know that I could Kegel untill I threw a cramp and it would make no difference in my leaking. I believe if a guy in on the verge of regaining control the "mind over bladder" approach may help get to that next step. But if your body is not ready or is never going to be ready no ammount of mind control is going to work.
Hang in there,
    43 at Dx and Surgery (RRP)
    PSA 5.7, Biopsy 3 of 12 positive (up to 75%) all on left side of prostate, Gleason 7
    RRP on Oct. 17, 2006 - Nerves on right side saved. All Lab's clear. 
    Cathiter in for 28 days due to complications in healing. Removed Nov. 9, 2006
    First Post op PSA on Dec. 11, 2006  Undetectable 0.00.
    ED workable and usable with Viagra.
    Feb. 20th, 2007 - Feb. 4th, 2008  Cystoscope, Two Collagen injections,Second Opinion Consultation for Incontinance at OU Medical Center, Bio-Feedback training, Chiropractic, Accupuncture  to try to resolve ongoing incontinance (4-6 pads a day)  All PSA's 0.00.
    Feb. 22nd, 2008 - Surgery to install the AMS AdVance Male Sling.
    March 27th, 2008 - Sling not working, Little or no improvement.
    April 18, 2008 - Collagen injection.  Back to using 4-6 full pads a day within a week.
    May 14, 2008 - Another collagen injection to try to Band-Aid the leaking for our June cruise.  Will start making conusultation appiontments for AUS after we return.
    July 14th, 2008 - AUS consultation with Dr. Morey at UT Southwestern (Dallas).
    July 30, PSA 0.00.
    Aug. 22nd, 2008 - AUS Surgery by Dr. Morey
    Oct. 6th, 2008 - AUS Activation by Dr. Morey.  Working Great, only light drips and dribbles.
    Jan, 31st, 2009 - PSA 0.00  Next test in July, 2009  

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