Men with much younger wives

The older the wife – the more likely she is to say: “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

 

We human beings are full of insecurities. But if your guy friends think their spouses will leave them for lack of sex, I wonder what they think the ladies will do when they’re in the final stages and are DIEING from cancer?

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Age 53   - 5'11"   205lbs

Overall Heath Condition - Good

PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3

Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 

06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy

Catheter in for five weeks.

Dry after 3 months.

10/03/08 - 1st Quarter PSA -> less then .01

01/16/09 - 2nd Quarter PSA -> less then .01

Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.

Post Edited (Steve n Dallas) : 2/13/2009 7:02:39 AM (GMT-7)

What shallow relationships those men must have, or think they have. These are really sad and pathetic examples. If there were true love present, then they would want to do whatever was possible and available to be alive for their spouse, regardless of age differences. Sounds like they are dooming themselves with that attitude.

David in SC

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Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3

3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7

Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9

Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 

First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05

 

A wife chimes in...since my husband's surgery 11 months ago, being able to have intercourse is still something we hope for. I can't believe that any woman who loves her man would not want him to have treatment regardless of the post-treatment issues. Frankly, my husband's incontinence issues bother me more - for his sake - than lack of sex for either of us.

To avoid treatment because of fear of ED is just plain foolish ... I would much rather have my husband alive and with me than reminisce about what great sex we used to have!

I would need to know the stats on the 59 year old guy with the 24 year old wife.

If his stats are bad, his wife leaving him is the least of his problems.  He should get treatment.

If his stats give him some room to consider watchful waiting, I can understand why he would want to delay treatment. If he has ED after treatment, she's looking at a lot of years thinking about what she is missing.  IMO, regardless of the love between them, that's a lot to ask of a healthy 24 year old. 

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Age:54

PSA 5/22/06: 5.6

DaVinci surgery: 9/14/06

Gleason: 3+3

Organ confined, clean margins.

Both nerve bundles spared.

I agree with you fully on that point, Billy. In the Pleasure Forest, there's more than wood to choose from

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Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3

3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7

Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9

Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 

First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05

 

Diane,
Now you got me doing the blushers big time. When I wrote that, it was spur of the moment right off my head, didn't think about what I was saying. Glad you liked it, on rare occasions I can be funny.

What you wrote, however, was very touching, and my wife and I can relate to your words exactly, and btw, my wife is only 3 years younger, but looks 15 years younger, must be her natural red hair.

Thanks, David

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Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3

3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7

Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9

Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 

First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05

 

I am 45 and my wife, God bless her is going to be 30 next week. She is loving and giving and patient. She misses the horn -dog I use to be but our relationship has matured and our twice a week blue pill induced bouts seem to be enough. When they are not that is why God gave me a toungue. lol. I hope I didnt offend anyone with that slip of the toungue. The point is that in a good marriage, sex is only 10 percent of the relationship and in a bad relationship it is more like 90 percent. Gee I do believe that I am a cunning linguist. ****. Todd

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dx:06/03/06

Age at dx: 42 age now 45

Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.

Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 

Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung

P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14

Began lupron and casodex

Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.

Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area

Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7

P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09

Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months

Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal

Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!! went off casodex January 4 2009

Current psa 2/13/09 .16

Ok, gentlemen, lets not wander off the path here. We need to keep our discussions of intimacy at least in some broad medical terminology format.. You knew that was coming, huh?

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James C. Age 62
Co-Moderator- Prostate Cancer Forum
4/07 PSA 7.6, referred to Urologist, recheck 6.7
7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS 3/3=6
9/07 Nerve sparing open RRP- Path Report: GS 3+3=6 Stg. pT2c, 110gms, margins clear
16 mts: ED- 50 mg Viagra 3X week, pump daily,Trimix .35ml 2X week continues
PSA's: .04 each 3 months

By the way David you are totally funny. We should hang out.

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dx:06/03/06

Age at dx: 42 age now 45

Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.

Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 

Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung

P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14

Began lupron and casodex

Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.

Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area

Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7

P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09

Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months

Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal

Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!! went off casodex January 4 2009

Current psa 2/13/09 .16

David
Maybe I should give you a call the next time I am in Pinehurst N.C. Of course I cant offord the greens fees at that place and they dont let hackers such as myself out on the course but I am sure we could go somewhere else and knock the ball around. That is if you are into knocking the ball around. Todd

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dx:06/03/06

Age at dx: 42 age now 45

Treated for sciatic nerve pain 6 months prior to dx.

Heavy amount of blood in urine Unable to urinate 

Lung x-ray for pnumonia revealed multiple lesions in each lung

P.S.A. at time of dx. 3216.14

Began lupron and casodex

Cat scan showed large mass in the pelvic area affecting the bladder multiple nodules in both lungs and lymph node envolvement.

Bone scan revealed possible bone involvment in the pelvic area

Biopsy 12 of 12 cores positive gleason 3+4=7

P.S.A.s since lupron 2946, 1274, 532, 5.01 1.23, .09

Begining jan 08 psa .o9, .25, .44, .86, .73, 1.34, 1.49. Doubling time is a little over 3 months

Cat Scan 12/12/08 Prostate normal size and shape. No tumors detected. Left lung clear of all nodules right lung showing only benign scar tissue. Lymph nodes normal

Bone Scan 12/24/08. Clean!!! went off casodex January 4 2009

Current psa 2/13/09 .16

Hi Bob D ,

I kind of see partially the worries of losing your MANHOOD (if temporary or long term ) as a great worry to most men , however men in general should also understand that it is NOT the only quality they can offer to a relationship or marriage.
I am one that all my life attracted younger women and married one that was 13 years younger as well .. however it tuned out to be that before i was DX with my prostate cancer our marriage was on a down hill swing , the ironic part of it , the marriage had all the best qualities that any marriage should have , but our divorce cam as a result of a sexual act on her part (cheating...and more over for the wrong reasons ..not that there is a good reason to cheat .. but there is a better reason than some... and since it was not for LOVE or SEX it was the wrong reason).
so i divorced her after 14 years of marriage and 2 kids ,an found myself battling prostate cancer and in the operating room for my RP... am about 20 months post op an just coming back into a normal sexual relations , and even though i must admit it is NOT back to Normal 100% yet .. i feel that my relationships these days based on much stronger foundation than just sex , there is a lot to offer to each other in a healthy relations, and SEX is not on top of the list , the fact is i can find sex anywhere i turn BUT i can not find a woman with substance every day of the week.
i have turn to a better person for it as i am not SEX crazed as i used to be pre-op (sure i miss the wild days of my late 40's) but o the other hand i can see the other side of life , and i agree for the most part with most of the posts here which points out that men who's base their sex life as the pillar that holds their relations or marriage , need an attitude adjustment immediately, especially when it comes to their health decisions... i wonder how much help they can get from their young wives when they gone off too early due to Cancer.

sure we all like to hang with the young herd, but it is for sure not for the right reasons, since most of us men like to inflate our ego , especially when it comes to our manhood (we can hardly wait to sit with the guys and tell our adventures ... we worry how satisfied in bed our women are.... etc etc )
so these 2 friends you know need a wake up call BIG TIME i can only prey and wish them well

GB

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April 2007 PSA 8.4 for last 6 months biopsy shows PC 3+3=6
June 13 2007 Nerve Sparing open RP / Dr. Christopher Johnson at St. Francis Hospital NY.
4 days later home for Fathers Day, and Catheter.
Removal of catheter 10 days later , incontinence not an issue, no pads used from the get go.
1 month PSA next to not detected

ED is a longer battle:
1 month out start using occasionally Cialis and 50MG Viagra to promote blood flow with no response. 3 months and 6 months PSA not detected
ED 6 months mark starting with VED therapy and being more aggressive with meds , in addition taking Folgard supplement daily.
April 2008 : 10 month out and start seeing some serious improvements with ED while using Meds and VED , can achieve erections, Mid nights erections almost on a regular basis , and uncontrolled 90 % erections spontaneously.

UPDATE 1 YAER FOLLOW UP
ED: With Viagra Usable erection for intercourse , AND AT 80% without any medications !!
Fully continent since removal of catheter.
PSA one year : 0.0 as of 6/13/ 2008 BIG Wooohoooooooooo!!!!

UPDATE AS OF Dec 2008 (18 months out)

PSA  still Undetectble!!!!

No continance issues!!!!

ED Mostly  getting better  with oral meds and the right woman  = good  sex

80% without any help   and 95% with oral Meds ... 100% with  VED

hope to keep progressing and by 24 months get back to 100% potency  WooooHoo!!!

Very good post, Allousie

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Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3

3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7

Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9

Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 

First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05