Posted 2/19/2009 9:09 AM (GMT -6)
Your last post brings up a good point. It amazes me how little information, support, or real help there is out there for the families and spouses of men going through PC in particular. I was alone with my dr. when I got my dx after the 3rd biopsy. When he told me, I was tough, almost cold about it, like, it was no big deal. Once I got back to my car, I was a broken down person, couldn't pull myself together, couldn't drive. Tried to call my wife 3x, but couldn't get a sentence out. Was it for myself? No, it was because I didnt want her to have to deal with what is my 4th bout with a cancer. I felt bad for her, as I knew somewhat what lie ahead for treatment, and I didn't want to see her go through all that again. Watching someone else suffer or go through an ordeal can be just as hard or even tougher than being on the receiving end. My wife, a nurse, works at a re-hab and long term facility, and sees every spectrum of suffering on a daily place. You always hear about relatives that won't visit the ones in places like that, its not always so easy or cut and dry, some people just can't handle seeing suffering and cant handle being in hospital settings. Not saying they are right, but we cant all be strong.
I know that every married woman here with a husband dealing with PC suffers too in a myraid of ways, must untold, most unnoticed. Their husbands dr. never stop and think of what mental or emotional effect it might be having on them, as they watch over and care for their husbands.
Yes, even my wife was a bit uptight as we waited for the first post surgery psa results to come in, we expected them to be good, hoped they would be good, but it still not the same thing until you get that good result in your hand.
It's kind of an ironic humor with me, the last two times I was dx with cancer, both times, the dr. said just prior to getting the facts, that there was virtually no chance it would be cancer, yet both times it was and both times it was serious. Talk about doing a trick on one's mind and emotions.
I can only speak for me, but I do think about all the wives here at HW, and how they too, suffer emotionally and mentally, for the men they love, and for themselves.
David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3
3rd Biopsy 9/8 Positive 7 of 7 cores pos, 40-90%, Gleason 7
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves saved, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes
First PSA Post Surgery 2/9 .05