We understand what you're feeling right now. It's a scary time. There are tons of options, so don't panic. This site is a great starting point. I also joined a live support group and I have to say it is one of the best decisions I made. Look at www.ustoo.com. It is a nationwide support system for PCa patients and their wives. Your wife will be able to connect with other wives and you will meet some great guys. The internet is great, but nothing compares with real life support. The American Cancer Society has a great support system too http://csn.cancer.org/.
I was diagnosed with PCa the day before my dad died of it, so, wow, do I relate to what you're feeling in that area. I too did not tell my mother until I had scheduled my surgery. Reach out, stay connected. As a good friend of mine who had PCa at 44 told me "you've got some rough paddling ahead of you, but you're going to be fine." I say the same to you.
46 at Diagnosis.
Father died of Pca 4/07 at 86.
1/06 PSA 3.15
1/07 PSA 4.6 (Biopsy 3/07 just suspicious)
10/07 PSA 5.06 (Biopsy 11/07 1 of 12 with 8% involvment) (1mm)
Da Vinci surgery Jan 5, '08 at Mt. Sinai Hosp. NYC www.roboticoncology.com
Saved both nerve bundles.
Path Report: Stage T2cNxMx
-totally contained to prostate,
-10% involvement in L & R Mid lobes
PSA 0 at nine months.
Pad free on March 14 - (10 weeks.) Never a problem since.
ED - Took 100mg viagra every night. for several months
Totally usable erections at 10 weeks, which disappeared over the course of a month or two.
ED bounce is what they call it. Now, at one year, ED is fine with viagra.
One year PSA - undectable!