Sex after surgery

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spisam
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 3/17/2009 1:43 AM (GMT -7)   
It is now 10 weeks since my robotic surgery. My wife and I celebrated by burning the depends diapers remaining in the closet. I'm down to one light pad a day which I need when playing golf or working out at the gym. The problem is with sex. I've never had the ED problem many of you comment about. I do take viagra 3 times a week for a boost. Erections are hard. Orgasms are more intense and last longer than pre-surgery. Here is my problem. Sex is just not the same without the ejaculation. It just isn't satisfying. My wife tells me she likes the fact that there is no mess but is she really happy. Maybe its the erotic thing watching and feeling the shooting but I feel empty inside when nothing happens. CUM is part of sex but now there is nothing. I should be happy that the cancer is gone, the PSA is <0.01, and I don't suffer ED. If so why do I feel so empty and not enjoy sex any more? Please help.
 
Sam

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25353
   Posted 3/17/2009 5:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Spisam,
Yes, you have much to be thankful for. Your post PSA is excellent, you are all but dry, and you can have sex.

I admit to, it takes some getting use to an ejaculate free release. I have been having natural sex again since Jan. 24 of this year. At first, the orgasms were remote, shallow in depth, and more of an act of minor relief then that of pleasure. I was told by the more experienced here, that they get better over time.

I would say they are right. Now, almost 2 months later, when I climax, the contractions are strong and deep, no longer remorte. It kind of reminds me of the good old days when perhaps I had sex two or three times in a 24 hr period. By the tiem I had the 3rd one, I was pretty empty of fluids anyway, and I would always say that it hurt good. That's the best way I can make a comparisom.

The sooner you can disassociate your sexual relesease with fluid/ejaculate, the better your orgasms will feel. I know that is harder than it sounds, but its just training. I still find myself moving undershirts or sheets/blankets out of the way (for what now? lol). And yes, the wife does like the no mess or clean up factor. This is how it will be for us men the rest of our lives, so tell your mind that, and start enjoying the new way. Now when the big "O" hits me, its stronger and longer than before, that I know, and it still seems to be getting better over time.

Like you, spisam, I feel too lucky at this point. My first psa was good, I am all but completely dry, and from the time my 5th and final catheter was removed after 63 days, I have been able to achieve natural wood w/o any sex pills, pumps, or injections. So I have nothing to complain about considering just a few short months ago, I was dealing with an unexpected and agressive case of PC, that I thought would upset my life forever.

Good luck brother, I hope your pleasure will get better over time, it should.

David in SC
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05, 6 month on 5/9
 
 


Tudpock18
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 4015
   Posted 3/17/2009 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   

David, I can't beleive I'm sitting here reading about your sex life...LOL!  How PCa has changed us all...

Seriously, I'm glad you were able to relate and post advice to bro. spisam.  One of the beauties of this forum is that those who go first can share that knowledge with others...

Tudpock


Age 62
Gleason 4 +3 = 7
T1C
PSA 4.2
2 of 16 cores cancerous
27cc
Brachytherapy December 9, 2008.  73 Iodine-125 seeds.  Procedure went great, catheter out before I went home, only minor discomfort.  Regular activities resumed, everything continues to function normally as of 3/6/09.

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25353
   Posted 3/17/2009 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Well Tudpock,

I still can't believe that I don't need anything. Originally it was a non=sparing operation, then later my dr/surgeon said he simply didnt mess with the right side nerve bundle, but he said it looked scarred and damaged. My wife and I never expected any natural results again, but it is what it is, and we are thankful.

Are there things that I miss about my pre-surgery sex life? Of course, would be lying if I said I didn't. But it's all good right now, and I won't complain to anyone. As long as I can keep pulling zero psa's for many years to come, I am doing just fine.

David

I only talk about this sometimes to give hope to others here, you never know ahead of time exactly how things will turn out with ED, incontinence, etc.
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05, 6 month on 5/9
 
 


sandstorm
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 194
   Posted 3/17/2009 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
9 1/2 weeks post op. Zero PSA and almost dry but no natural erections. I use the pump only to keep the blood supply refreshed. Trimix injections give erections good enough for sex but the knawing aching pain of the trimix makes sex a wasted effort. I can feel my wife and know she feels wonderful but it cannot overcome the trimix pain. Plan to have that fixed next month. I hope to catch up with you other guys someday.
Age at DX 57
5-18-07 PSA 7.7
5-06-08 PSA 4.6  8% free psa, but stable
10-23-08 PSA 5.65 4% free psa
11-04-08 biopsy
11-11-08 2 of 12 cores positive
Gleason 3+3  6  stage t1c / post-op 3+4  7  stage t2c
CT and Bone scan negative
Da Vinci RRP 01-09-09
Catheter removed 1-15-09
Pathology Report says it's gone!
First Post-op PSA 2-17-09   0.00


spisam
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 3/17/2009 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all. David, its nice to know we can come on this forum and get honest, heart felt comments.

Sam

 


carver
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/17/2009 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
The beauty of being 13 years post RP and 13 years older, approaching 70, I can't remember what it was like before my RP. smhair   With the aid of Edex the orgasm is very pleasurable to me and has restored the "JOY of Sex" to our marriage! Best wishes, Al

tedgard
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 3/17/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
It took a while to disassociate orgasm from ejaculation, but after a while I have found that if you focus on the "feeling" of the orgasm, and controlling that, now that I have disassociated the two, it is better then before. Now I can extend the feeling longer then when I used to ejaculate. Also, one benefit of using the vacuum pump is that you can keep your erection for much longer and some men have become multi orgasmic with less time between orgasms. Now that I have had implant surgery, I can have an erection at will and maintain for as long as I wish... Maybe there are some benefits to having had the ED symptoms... lol

Pre-op Diagnosis Results – Oct 31, 2007;

 

  • Age – 53 (turned 54 in Nov 2007)
  • PSA is 3.83
  • Gleason's Grade - 3+3=6, T1C
  • One biopsy core (Right mid) was diagnosed with carcinoma, which was less than 10% of the tissue submitted.
  • One other biopsy core (Left apex) had a "high grade parostatic intraepithelil neoplasia” (atypical cells, otherwise called pre-cancer cells).
  • All other biopsies benign.

Post-op Results – Surgery Dec 11, 2007;

 

  • Gleason's Grade - 3+3=6, T2C
  • Cancer confirmed on Right mid and Left apex
  • Both nerve bundles spared, some damage to the Left bundle.
  • 30 day PSA, .01
  • 90 day PSA, .00
  • ED treatments: Levitra, Cialis, Trimix, Erect Aid pump, Penile Implant on 3/12/2009
  • Happy


Bob D
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 3/17/2009 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Congrats on your progress.
Welcome to the "Full Erection Club"
My erections started back  5 days post op and after 12 months I get
full natural erections but the 10mg Cialis makes them easier to maintain.
From day one I have not missed the ejaculate. Orgasms are absolutely
fantastic. Great pleasure.
Just think of all the tissues you will save and now you too can "fake orgasms" LOL
    1. Age 59, psa 4.7 in Jan. 08. Biopsy: one positive sample out of 13. 1% of one sample cancer. Prostate removed on 3/5/08. Open Surgery. Northeast Georgia Medical Center, Gainesville Ga. Nerves spared. Cath out 12 days later. Continence good. No pads needed since 6/10/08. First PSA: Less than 0.1 on 6/17/08. First erection five days post op and have been improving well since then. Full erection now possible (less than four months post op) with the assistance of Cialis.  Post Op Biopsy : No malignant cells in lymph node. Gleason 3=4=7. Tumor on both lobes. Urethral margins/apex free of neoplasia. Right and left seminal vesicles free of neoplasia. No invasion of prostatic capsule of the resection margins are noted by the tumor. Tumor occupies 10 to15% of the prostate gland. Path staging T2c, NO, MX- Group staging II.  Focal areas of perineural invasion by tumor are noted. 80% natural erections and full erections with 10mg Cialis. 9/22/08-Took 10mg Cialis on Monday night, had very usable full hard erection at night, the next morning, and the following Thursday morning, 60 hours after original dose !! Orgasm quality Excellent.!!!!! I am pleased with the progress so far. Married to same wonderful woman for 39 years. She is still beautiful and sexy as ever. A great help in my recovery !!: 3/12/09: Full natural erections with penetration. 10mg Cialis makes them easier to maintain but I have had several med free full erections lately, Yipieeee !!!!!!!


justus1292
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 3/25/2009 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
turn  Dude!  Don't worry, you'll get over it.  When I vocalized this feeling to the wife, she was happy to tell me, "at least the sheets arn't stuck between my legs in the morning." tongue    Like you said, the PCa is GONE!
 
Good luck.
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