Our situations are strikingly similar, but not identical. Currently, I am 15 weeks post-op daVinci RRP, and am totally incontinent. I am physically active, and otherwise in good shape. I resumed playing tennis 5 weeks post-op, and currently play tennis for 2+ hrs. each time. I also stretch and lift moderate weights each day prior to playing tennis.
I use at least 6 super absorbent diapers (or the equivalent) per day. Insert pads, such as Poise pads, are insufficient. Instead, I insert super absorbent belted shields (w/o the belt) inside my diapers and remove them when full. After some leakage, I just wear the diapers, and then change back to the combo when the diapers are soaked.
We appear to differ in one regard. My bladder does fill at night, and I awaken from that sensation. However, upon rising I am only able to make it into the bathroom by using my hand to squeeze off the urine flow until I am at the toilet. During the day, the only time that my bladder collects and retains fluid is when I am seated. Upon rising, I void immediately, unless I use my hand, as previsouly described. While standing (or walking or playing tennis), the leakage is constant, w/o any retention in the bladder.
Since surgery, I have done the kegel exercises religiously. Some have suggested that I vary the kegel routine to conform to a weightlifting routine (i.e., rest every other day to allow the pelvic floor muscles to recover). I also have been undergoing biofeedback, coupled with electrical stimulation. The theory seems sound. But, after 5 weeks, I see no discerible benefits.
BTW, others have theorized that the cure will come from the mere passage of time. Maybe they are correct. Nonetheless, I remain open to all suggestions that involve my effort in an attempt to accelerate the healing process, as long as I am not doing any perceived damage.
Good luck in your healing process.