5 months after open RP , think its come a end

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 4/14/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
 Hello everyone
I wish  and hope each and every one of you the best , sitting here this morning with my usual cup of coffee
looking out my window at another sunrise .
I had my  surgery Nov 18 of 2008 , I am dry finaly except for a sneeze every now and then and feeling good about that but some things  have been lost and well that has broken the marrige  as of this morning .
I have been on heavy med for a bad back , I take 4  40 mg Oxycontin and 6 5mg/325mg Percocet a day  for the pain , was taking 100 mg Viagra for the other but that never did any good .
 Since the surgery and well my buddy not working  being turned down from ssi  and now the falling apart of the marrige I am some what at a loss  so to say  , I do not know , hell dont know why I am here  guess I just need to talk and get it off my chest with someone that is in the same boat as me so to say with  the aaftermath of the surgery  and so forth .The ssi and pain  from my back I can live with  have been  but  the loss feeling , passion and well the wanting to  is killing me, after this surgery I have lost the erge to want sex so to say  is that usual or is it just me? I am the type of person that has always ben there for others and not use to the one needing help I am at a loss and do not kknow where or who to turn to .
 I am 42 years  young
Psa 11.6
gleasen 4+3=7
Catscan-Neg but for a cyst on liver
Bone scane - Neg
11 out of 17 bio tests came back pos full rt side agressive cancer lft side  core  had 2 bios  pos
had the open RP on Tuesday November 18th of 2008 at 7:45  am , finished at 1:30 and took the 3 pts of blood I gave .
 At Kaiser Sunnyside  in Oregon
Performed by Dr Matthew Forsyth
 Came home on 11-21 , cath and staples out on 12-01
now the real work begins

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 4/14/2009 10:55 AM (GMT -6)   
There is no shame in needing help. You have been through a lot, with your open surgery, your back pain, and now, if I am reading correctly, marrital problems. Your loss of sexual interest may have nothing to do with any one of your problems, but a combination of all of them. When was the last time your saw your urologist, how did your first post PSA turn out? You should almost be due for your second one too like me.

Do you have family or friends you can talk to? There's always help out there if you feel you need to. If funds are a problem, most areas have good free or low cost mental health clinics, least you could talk through all these issues.

You are on a lot of pain meds, that could be affecting your moods, sexual interests, etc. You have a lot of factors going on there.

And no, it's not just you, each of us here fight our own personal battles on a daily basis, whether it be physical or mental or both, that is very normal. Each person has their own tolerance level and their own ways of dealing with them.

And you can always come here, just like you did now, and get it off your chest and talk through it with the good people here. We are here for each other ,we are here for you.

Hope you get to feeling better, you have a lot on your plate, best thing to do is deal with one small piece at at a time, deal with a piece that you can handle, then move on to the next. If you think about all your problems at once, you will be overcome. Do it in small pieces, that is how I survived all I have been through.

Wishing you better times,

David in SC

ps and being 42, I know that all of this is harder on you still
Age 56, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Post-surgery Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsular, clear margins, clear lymph nodes 
First PSA Post Surgery   2/9 .05, 6 month on 5/9

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 4/14/2009 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Cowboy,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I have lower back and sciatic nerve pain that was aggravated by the surgey.  My surgery was DaVinci and I think the way they positioned me during the surgery aggravated my problem.  Chronic pain makes everything harder.

In regard to the ED, it took me almost a full year to regain a useful erection.  At 5 months, you're still pretty early in your ED recovery.  I may have had a bit of chubbiness at 5 months, but it was depressing.  Don't assume anything has been lost in regard to the ED.  I also found that the harder I tried to get an erection, the less successful I was.  Don't think about it.  Focus on and enjoy the other things you and your wife do together and hopefully the ED will take care of itself.  Don't let the ED destroy your marriage.  It can actually improve a marriage.  The intimacy can improve because you aren't focused on the end result.

My libido didn't change as a result of the surgery.  It sounds like yours changed.  That could either be due to depression or a problem with your testosterone level.  If depression, possibly if you take the focus off the ED it will help.  Easier said than done, but it's worth a try. 

I hope you start feeling better.



PSA 5/22/06: 5.6
DaVinci surgery: 9/14/06
Gleason: 3+3
Organ confined, clean margins.
Both nerve bundles spared.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 4/14/2009 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   


I feel for you bro. As you see others here feel for you also. I was 43 when I was dx last year. I had the RRP in Aug 08.

You are at the five month mark. When I was there I wasn't myself either. I gotta tell ya, with each passing month the ED issue gets better and better. You'll be back to your old stiff self before you know it. What you have on your side is your youth. (that's what my doctor told me at least).

So don't dispair. It may be rough for you right now but trust us, it WILL get better.

You do have a lot going on right now, handling your problems is like eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

Don't lose sight of the most important thing. YOU ARE NOW CANCER FREE! You have plenty of life ahead of you so buck up.

I hope every thing works out for you. Remember we are here. Be well.

Age now 44 (43 when dx)
Pre-op PSA:  0.9
Biopsy: 3/12 cores pos  20% 30% 50%
Gleason 3+3=6
Robotic RP:   Aug 08 1 day hospital stay, cath out on 8th day.
Post Surgery Pathology Report: Gleason 6, pT2c, tumor 10% contained in prostate gland, all margins negative. Negative lymph nodes
Post Op PSA: Dec 08 <0.1
Post Op PSA: Mar 06 <0.1

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