Me, My Wife, and Courage

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

geezer99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 5/24/2009 5:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been finding it too easy to get so wrapped up in my recovery that I forget that there are two of us involved in this. A couple of days ago she said; “I’m glad that you are alive.” It is not that I was facing imminent death, but she was saying that she was part of the concern for my health.

Last night we spent about two hours being very close. Heavy petting sitting on the deck in the dark and then to bed. Put down lots of towels and more of the same. We both acknowledged that we were uncertain and afraid, I am used to being responsible for my own O’s and it is hard for me to learn to ask and instruct. No E but back and forth until we were both happy and tired. Several O’s for her, none yet for me, but I felt so well loved that at the end we relaxed in each others arms. Rolled back and forth all night just fondling.

Next step is to try it with meds, remembering that this time showed us that even if they don’t work we are still lovers.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3 + 4 = 7
CAT scan 1/09 negative, Bone scan 1/09 negative

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Removed 03/08/09
Post surgical pathology report. Lymph nodes negative, Seminal vesicles negative
Surgical margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4 + 3 = 7
At 6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.


goodlife
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 5/24/2009 5:25 PM (GMT -6)   

Nice post.  I am about a month behind you, but I have come to the same conclusion.  Too many times earlier in our 37 years of married life, it was about me and my O.  I actually am enjoying these times worrying about her O.  I get as big a kick over seeing her achieve the O, as I do over my own.

Go in for my 6 week check next week, and hopefully the start of E's for me with Viagara, pump, etc.  But honestly, I hope for the rest of my life that I keep on focusing on her satisfaction over mine.  But darm, I am horny, so I do need something here and there !

 


Age 58
PSA 4.47
Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09
Nerves spared
0/23 lymph nodes involved
pT3a NO MX
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Thankful for early diagnosis, and U.S. healthcare
 


Radical
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 5/24/2009 5:56 PM (GMT -6)   

On Ya Geezer,

We all feel the same way I'm sure, God love and thank our partners. And keep those "O" coming for her and the "Zero's" for you. 

Please be patient with the Meds, I am finding after being on them for about 3 mnths now, they are just starting to kick in, achieve about a 70% E after taking 100mg Viagra, takes about 1 hr to work.  Am looking forward to changing my forum name to "Hard" as soon as possible !


Age 51yrs
DX 11/11/08
6 out of 8 cores positive 3 X 60% / 3 X 10%
PSA 4
Gleason 3+4=7
Stage T1c
Robotic Surgery 24/12/08
Upgrade Gleason 4+3=7 (60% Grade 4)
Stage T2c
Three small foci total volume <10%
Neg Margins and Nodes
Nil - Extraprostatic Extentions
Dry less than 1 week.
ED- taking Meds/ No results yet/still "NotHard"
PSA 28/1/09 0.03
PSA 24/2/09 0.03
"Everyday in Everyway I get better"


divo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 637
   Posted 5/25/2009 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
This was a very nice posting..and reminded me that you guys are saddened by the loss more than we wives...I came out of the shower today, and my husband turned away....he said he couldn't be reminded of what he had lost...We are lovers who still love , but have lost the intimacy that was very special. It wont kill us...but it is sad. However, he is still here with me, and that is what matters....How sad to be sitting alone on a porch and crying alone... But .Now we have each other and even though we cant make love, we can laugh and share jokes and understand the situation together...On this memorial day, I can understand that there are so many worse losses... Di
Husband Pete
dx Jan 2001 gleason 4 + 3 PSA 16.5
Seed implant and conformal radiation and Lupron from Jan 2001 to Jan2002
2005 Dec PSA began to rise from .5 to 8 within 6 months
Salvage surgery at MSK 9/06 Dr. Eastham
Fistula operation 2/07 MSK Dr. Wong
Many cystoscopies and ER visits with strictures
Catheter for one year....Catheter taken out Sept 07..
Total Incontinence since then....
PSA .52 3/08
AUS Operation at MSK Sept 8 2008 Dr. Sandhu
Activated Oct 28th Dr. Sandhu..MSK
Some difficulty with AUS arising Nov 10 2008
Meeting with Dr. Sandhu to discuss AUS problems and new PSA test Dec 11, 2008
PSA .6 12/08
AUS improving..only 2 pads a day and one at night
Complete hip replacement surgery Dr. Waters Gainesville, FL 1/9/09
Hip replacement total success..pain gone!!
PSA .7 2/10/09


goodlife
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 5/25/2009 9:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Di,

Sounds like you and Pete have really been through it. I am really new to all of this, so what I say probably doesn't mean much.

Hopefully you and Pete can continue to find what I and my wife have been able to experience in the last 2 months. We are thankful for advances in medicine that will keep me here for a few more years. More than that, we have been able to "make love" without me being so content on my satisfaction. Holding, caressing, talking, petting, etc. etc., have taken us back 37 years ago when we were dating. I forgot how hot I used to be when I was going home after a date !

In many ways, I haven't lost anything, but found what I misplaced in the busy-ness of raising a family, making a living etc. I feel young again. If PCa hadn't come along, I 'm not sure I ever would have found it again.
Age 58
PSA 4.47
Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09
Nerves spared
0/23 lymph nodes involved
pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks due to anatomical issues with location of ureters with respect to bladder neck.
Try 3 tubes where no tubes are supposed to be for 2 weeks !
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Thankful for early diagnosis, and U.S. healthcare
 


Jstars
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 5/26/2009 6:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey GoodLife,

I had to smile when I saw your name there. Are you familiar with the old Fred Saberhagen 'Beserker' Novels?? On the other hand if you were, you probably would not have picked that name! More on that if you are curious and cannot find the info by running Goodlife Saberhagen Wiki.

Geezer,
Good post yes. I am about a month AHEAD of you (so between Goodlife and me we've got you bookended).
It reminded me of what a trooper my wife is and that things are looking better all the time -- much of it because of her.
Been doing the V,C and L route for a while and up until now it was mostly like eating candy -- not much reaction or even side-effects. But just lately have been getting more nocturnals (and even some Dayurnals too). Wife is happy to be the Queen Of Rehab as she has become known (to me). I can try stimulation myself til the cows come home without much luck, but she can get a reaction in no time. Way too much power there, but I will not complain.

Keep on, keeping on ..

jim
Age 58, 195lbs, 6'4", 57 at DX, PSA Aug2008 7 4 ... June2007 4.7 (BPH + LUTS)
Biopsy Nov2008 1 of 12 cores 5%, Gleason 3+3 - Sona showed 140+ cc (110 grams post op) prostate size.
02/03/09 open RRP surgery , Nerve sparing both sides, 1 day in hospital, Day 4 first BM,
Pathology Report: All margins clear - No Invasive spread - no change in Gleason score.
02/18/09 Cath out, passed a 1cm STONE within hours.
Using pump (Encore) daily since catheter out - working good with 2 rings.
04/01/09 Was Oxalate stone -- usually from kidneys -- X-ray Kidneys @ next PSA).
03/06/09 Started Levitra 20mg rehabbing -> no real effect yet (04/01/09) . (Same for Viagra @ 100mg)
04/01/09 PSA <0.1 (And starting Cialis daily @ 5-10mg) -- 04/19 nocturnals finally starting!


goodlife
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 5/26/2009 10:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Jim,

Thanks for ruining my name. Ha Ha I used it because they said we weren't supposed to use our real names, and post RP, I am living the good life, cancer free, and looking forward to each day of progress.

It actually is kind of funny. Have I collaborated with the Da Vinci to stay alive ? I guess I actually have.
Age 58
PSA 4.47
Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09
Nerves spared
0/23 lymph nodes involved
pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks due to anatomical issues with location of ureters with respect to bladder neck.
Try 3 tubes where no tubes are supposed to be for 2 weeks !
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Thankful for early diagnosis, and U.S. healthcare
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, July 22, 2018 4:05 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,984,133 posts in 327,186 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161972 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Ucer1.
249 Guest(s), 2 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
holo100, gerdy