I am looking for a support/discussion group that deals with prostate issues and hope this is it. My prostate
problem was non-cancerous but the affects of the surgery are similar to a person who has had treatment for prostate cancer.
about 18-months ago, I had surgery to relieve a frequent urination problem. The Dr told me that my prostate
was restricting my urethra causinig my bladder to over-work. The excessive force needed essentially caused my bladder to become more sensitive and signal the need to go more often. The surgery involved going up my
urethra and burning the inside of my prostate with a laser. The removal of the inside portion of the prostate
was to reduce the restriction and make urination easier. Sounds simple enough, however, if the doctor had bothered to inform me of ALL of the effects of this surgery, I would certainly have elected to forgo the surgery
and live with the frequency problem.
As a result of removing a portion of the inner prostate, sex has changed - I no longer ejaculate. At orgasim, my semen goes into my bladder (retrograde ejaculation). This has had a significant affect my mental health. I have been in therapy for more than one year now.
To make things worse, the Doctor denies that he neglected to inform me of this side affect. So along with coping with the physical changes, I have to cope with the anger and frustration of dealing with the Doctor and the hospital where the surgery was performed. I have been to every lawyer within a 50-mile radious of my home and everyone has told me that a malpractice suit would be difficult to win; in addition to the federal liability limitations, the state of Wisconsin makes it even harder to prove medical malpractice. To add insult to injury, the surgery did not correct the urination frequency.
The mere act of writing this has caused my hands to start shaking. I cannot get past feeling angry at the doctor, wanting revenge (a lawsuit) and "mourning the death" of a normal sex life. Sex with my spouse has become a reminder of what happened to me more than an intimate act for us to share. The physical and mental issues have also caused intermittent ED problems. I went in to the doctor with a problem that was inconvenient, but still manageable and came ot with a multitude of issues including the original problem. My spouse is understanding but has difficulty expressing her feelings (and I am not very good at it eithor). I am only 52.
This isn't the kind of issue that gets talked about over lunch or fising with friends. There are no support gorups in the area to address this kind of issue - my hometown is rather small. Only me and my therapist know :). I need
to hear form someone who has learned to adjust to the changes prostate surgery can cause in life.