post-op orgasms

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/30/2009 12:34 AM (GMT -6)   
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, since i am cancer free and ED free, I wish to complain about my orgasms now that it's been 3 years (june 2006) since da vinci surgery. It seems like most guys are satisfied with theirs from what i read on posts. I get the impression that they are pretty much as good as they were in the good ol' days. Mine aren't even close. It used to be a "roll over and go to sleep, the world is now a better place" type of release. Now, it's like somebody turns off the spigot just at the climax and says "hold that thought, come back and try again later". It's just not the same without the "mess". I liked the "mess". Even though it's been 3 years i still remember how powerful and satisfying they used to be. Today I'd say 2 outta 10 come close to that, the rest leave me hanging. I know there's guys with more serious issues and i feel for them but still i am curious to know from others are they REALLY just as satisfying OR maybe guys are so grateful to even have one and be healthy that they just "go with it" and report it as being good. For other's sake i hope they really are happy with theirs and maybe i have some physical glitch from the surgery. In my research prior to surgery i heard about the dry orgasm and it seemed played down, like it was insignificant, but i thought "how could that be?".
And in my case i was right, it does make a big difference. Well... I am done rambling and venting and i guess i just want to know if anybody else feels like me.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 7/30/2009 4:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Jeff, I gotta say, I think there would be alot of guys on this forum who would happily change places with you.  Think about it !  Sorry can't really comment about the big 'O', haven't had the opportunity yet to really achieve it.   Pleased to see you are 3 years out of surgery and still pulling zero's, sorry about the orgasms, lets hope they will improve for you.  Cheers Nothard.
Age 51yrs
DX 11/11/08
6 out of 8 cores positive 3 X 60% / 3 X 10%
Gleason 3+4=7
Stage T1c
Robotic Surgery 24/12/08
Upgrade Gleason 4+3=7 (60% Grade 4)
Stage T2c
Three small foci total volume <10%
Neg Margins and Nodes
Nil - Extraprostatic Extentions
Dry less than 1 week.
ED- taking Meds/ No results yet/still "NotHard"
PSA 1/09  .03
PSA 2/09  .03
PSA 5/09  .03
"Everyday in Everyway I get better"

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 7/30/2009 5:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Jeff, I,m with you. Just over 2 years, and the orgasms stink. Am I happy that my PSA's are undetectable? Absolutely! Am I happy that I can get a pretty good erection on my own, and a very good one on 1/2 Viagra? Heck yeah! But, in the last 2 years I haven't had an orgasm that was anything that was worthwhile. Good luck.
53 years - 5' 11" 202 lbs.
T1c 3+3=6
DaVinci July 16, 2007
Bladder Sling installed during prostate removal
nerve sparing with both nerve bundles intact
all cancer contained within prostate nothing near margins
11 weeks post-op - no more pads
all PSA's since removal < .1 - Undetectable

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 598
   Posted 7/30/2009 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
How do your orgasms compare between JO and intercourse? often, more intense stimulation is needed post surgery and so intercourse sometimes produces a nice "lift" orgasm (a friend of mine calls it his female orgasm). JO for most guys provides much closer to the real thing. Also, you can concentrate totally on the sensations. This is not totally selfish on your part, cause you can then transfer some of what you learn to sex. As one of the guys said on here, post PCa is a second chance in life to explore things sexually. New sensations/stimulus may help.
and don't feel guilty for wanting sex back. We all have our own battles. We can all be very grateful for what we have and help those around us while still trying to meet our needs.
46 at Diagnosis.
Father died of Pca 4/07 at 86.
10/07 PSA 5.06 (Biopsy 11/07 1 of 12 with 8% involvment) (1mm)
Da Vinci surgery Jan 5, '08 at Mt. Sinai Hosp. NYC
Saved both nerve bundles.
Path Report: Stage T2cNxMx
-Gleason (3+3)6
Pad free on March 14 - (10 weeks.) Never a problem since.
ED - at one year, ED is fine with viagra.
One year PSA - undectable!

ED Website: - frank discussions of Erectile Dysfunction - check it out.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 7/30/2009 9:37 AM (GMT -6)   
And let me give another opinion and perspective. I am coming up on 9 months from surgery, and 7 months from when I was released from being on a catheter for over 2 months. I am in the ultra rare club of having no ED from the moment the last cathater was out, and that is with one nerve bundle being removed and the other being damaged.

My ograsms are dry, as expected. That took me a bout a month to get use to. You just have to get that out of your head if you are capable of having sex. Over the months, the orgasms just keep getting stronger, longer in duration, and deeper in feeling. My last one, now over 2 weeks ago because (now I am another catheter again) was the strongest one yet. I never have felt such intense pleasure feelings. And the orgasms last I would guess 2 - 3 times longer then the best pre-surgery. I also get a good amount of pre-semen dribbling out the tip when its over, which they tell me my cowpens or is it cowpers gland must still be working.

The are other men here that report similar orgasm stories like mine, so I don't think I am a freak. I never expected to have "normal" sex again, and I thought the dry orgasms would be a waste of time, but each time we make love, it just seems to get better, and that's at 9 months out.

What is different, is that I have lost all ability to get an errection by visual means or just by thinking dirty thoughts. It does take the physical touch and/or cuddling up with that good looking red headed wife of mine. Then, its boing, and ready to play.

The hard part is re-training your mind about no more ejaculations. You have to accept that the source of your pleasure/orgasm has nothing to do with haveing a load to semen to release. Yes, it's hard to disassociate the two, but you need to learn that. Lay back and just let the good and positive feelings take over your mind. It's wonderful not to have a mess to deal with afterward, my wife enjoys that part, and you can do it in more places where you normally wouldn't want to have a mess if you follow my drift.

Going back to the start of your post, if you can have sex and climax at all, you may need to review your priorities in life. There are dozens of our brothers here that would do anything to experience again what you have right now. Not lecturing you, more like reminding you. I am thankful everyday for what I still have, not what I don't have.

David in SC
Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
 Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes 
2009 PSA   2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/11 ?
Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, scarring closed up bladder neck, again

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 179
   Posted 7/30/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
My situation regarding ejaculations is similar to David's. Extremely intense and long lasting orgasms with lots of "post ejaculatory" fluid afterward. One difference is that I can get an erection with just erotic thoughts or visuals. I do however miss 'firing live rounds for effect' when I do have sex. Fortunately, my wife has assured me that though she misses it too, the lack of a mess makes up for it.

The bottom line though is that I'm extremely happy that I am beating the PCa and living my life on my terms.
V10.46 Dx Feb-09
RRP 5-5-09
No adverse SE
PSA 6-19-09 -0-
Thriving, not just surviving!

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/30/2009 11:41 AM (GMT -6)   
chas036: i had the EXACT same problem u are having with urine. It went away after 2 years. Still happens occasionally though. As weird as it may sound i prefer a small amount of leakage because it somehow mimics ejac and the orgasm is better. My urologist said it was simply from not doing kegels or not doing them correctly which i never thought of because i have very little incontinence. But the problem ceased on it's own. I think there's still a chance yours will lessen or go away because mine did, it just takes a long time. Bottom line i think when a surgeon "messes" with your original configuration all types of things can happen that even the experts can't explain.

NotHard: it's only been 7 months since your surgery... way to soon to be free of complications for many of us. Took me 18 months to be rid of most issues. My uro said guys are still improving 3 years later. Hang in there (no pun intended).

Purgatory: Thanks for the input... your quote "What is different, is that I have lost all ability to get an errection by visual means or just by thinking dirty thoughts. It does take the physical touch and/or cuddling up with that good looking red headed wife of mine. Then, its boing, and ready to play." ...
My uro told me that would happen to me without me even bringing the subject up. It must be common.

RipAndBurn: makes it easy to lose interest doesn't it... I realize we are fortunate to have such minor problems but i wanted to know where others stood in regard to the big "O" post-op

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 202
   Posted 7/30/2009 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi jeff,
I'll be 3 years out from surgery in September and have the same problems with orgasms that you have.
They are so unsatisfactory from intercourse that I've stopped even going for them.
I'll back off if I get too close to having one because I don't want to have one.
I JO to have an orgasm because it's better and I don't have the disappointment and the drop off in my libido during sex.
Which brings up a side issue.  I don't mean to T/J, but my libido has always left the building once I have an orgasm.
By not having one during intercourse, I'm more interested in hanging around for awhile afterwards, so that's been a big advantage of the whole thing.  My wife actually likes the fact that I don't have an orgasm.
Maybe this method would be worth a try.
Good luck.
PSA 5/22/06: 5.6
DaVinci surgery: 9/14/06
Gleason: 3+3
Organ confined, clean margins.
Both nerve bundles spared.

Bob D
Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 7/30/2009 9:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I am 16 months post RP. I am happy to report my orgasms are just as great
as pre op. Erections are great also with no constant manipulation needed.
Many men say once they enter their lover they get soft. Mine gets even firmer.
I feel so fortunate. Of course I have a wife that will do anything I desire sexually
and in every other way. With the combination of early detection, great surgeon, a loving & sexy wife,
and God's Grace I am a happy man.
    1. Age 59, psa 4.7 in Jan. 08. Biopsy: one positive sample out of 13. 1% of one sample cancer. Prostate removed on 3/5/08. Open Surgery. Northeast Georgia Medical Center, Gainesville Ga. Nerves spared. Cath out 12 days later. Continence good. No pads needed since 6/10/08. First PSA: Less than 0.1 on 6/17/08. First erection five days post op and have been improving well since then. Full erection now possible (less than four months post op) with the assistance of Cialis.  Post Op Biopsy : No malignant cells in lymph node. Gleason 3=4=7. Tumor on both lobes. Urethral margins/apex free of neoplasia. Right and left seminal vesicles free of neoplasia. No invasion of prostatic capsule of the resection margins are noted by the tumor. Tumor occupies 10 to15% of the prostate gland. Path staging T2c, NO, MX- Group staging II.  Focal areas of perineural invasion by tumor are noted. 80% natural erections and full erections with 10mg Cialis. 9/22/08-Took 10mg Cialis on Monday night, had very usable full hard erection at night, the next morning, and the following Thursday morning, 60 hours after original dose !! Orgasm quality Excellent.!!!!! I am pleased with the progress so far. Married to same wonderful woman for 39 years. She is still beautiful and sexy as ever. A great help in my recovery !!: 3/12/09: Full natural erections with penetration. 10mg Cialis makes them easier to maintain but I have had several med free full erections lately, Yipieeee !!!!!!!  3/24/09: One year PSA <0.1.  3/28 & 3/29: had sex with full naturals with no meds. Erections are gained and maintained with very little manipulation. Getting more like pre op every day. 5/30/09, I take only 5mg Cialis every 2 or 3 days. This greatly assists my full naturals and provides great staying power and no manipulation required and allows sex anytime !! Lenght and girth are back to pre op size due to regular "workouts".

      Veteran Member

      Date Joined May 2009
      Total Posts : 2692
         Posted 7/30/2009 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
      Oh stop it you guys. I am getting jealous !

      I can't wait until it's my turn for a spontaneous erection without pills, injections, or pumps, and some good old rollicking sex, even if I don't have an orgasm.

      Really, thanks for giving me some hope. It's easy to become impatient, discouraged, and downright depressed early on in this PC game. We want it NOW !
      Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
      Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared
      0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
      Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks due to anatomical issues with location of ureters with respect to bladder neck.  Try 3 tubes where no tubes are supposed to be for 2 weeks !
      Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
      Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
      3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)

      Worried Guy
      Veteran Member

      Date Joined Jul 2009
      Total Posts : 3739
         Posted 7/31/2009 7:51 AM (GMT -6)   
      Hey wait a minute! They told me it would be the same except no squirt. That's why I was willing to get in the car to go the hospital. I'll bet my wife and the Vet, I mean, URO were in cahoots.
      The only relations I have been having for the past 10 days are with Cathy the Catheter. She always leaves me drained. I'm on my way to the Vet right now to have it removed. Thanks for giving me something to look forward to.
      Can I get a refund on my Vasectomy charges?
      Age 56. Perfectly healthy with no problems until getting the results of my first routine PSA test on April 8th: 17.8. My doc does not believe in general PSA screening so I did not get results during my 50 year physical.
      May PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: 23.2.
      June 10 Biopsy 7 out of 12 cores positive, Gleason 6=3+3.
      Bone scan and C/T scan negative.
      Radical prostatectomy by Da Vinci on 7/21/2009.
      Left nerve gone, right spared.
      No pathology report yet.

      Elite Member

      Date Joined Oct 2008
      Total Posts : 25393
         Posted 7/31/2009 8:23 AM (GMT -6)   
      Yeah Jeff, your wife and the vet tricked you into getting spaded or neutered, the jokes on you! lol. Good luck with the cath removal, been there many times, it should just slide out like a nasty slimy snake, it may feel odd, but shouldn't hurt.
      Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
      3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
      Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
       Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes 
      2009 PSA   2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/11 ?
      Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, scarring closed up bladder neck, again

      New Member

      Date Joined Jul 2009
      Total Posts : 9
         Posted 7/31/2009 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
      I have had orgasms, but they take a lot of fanatsy, focus and stimulation.  Without the ejaculation they aren't as intense or last as long. Just starting with injections this week. Will see how that feels with my lady this weekend.

      Diagnosed 8/09 Gleason 3+3 =6
      Robotic RP @ City of Hope 10/09
      Problems with "abnormal anatomy"
      Clean pathology
      Catheter for 6 weeks
      Followup PSA negligible
      Incontinence.. a small squirt every now and then
      ED - yes
      Pills didn't work
      Vacumn pump w/bands hurt and didn't hold erection
      7/09 Just starting injections

      Regular Member

      Date Joined Mar 2009
      Total Posts : 75
         Posted 7/31/2009 12:37 PM (GMT -6)   
      I agree with curly (who said: I have had orgasms, but they take a lot of fanatsy, focus and stimulation. Without the ejaculation they aren't as intense or last as long).

      somewhere, on one of the other threads, i posted more details about combining Viagra, with stimulation, and with some occasional use of a pump (without the ring), in order to reach my fullest erection (which is not yet 100%). I do find that the more erect and the fuller that i am, the more intense and the more enjoyable that the orgasms are.

      like many of the posts have already stated, i too miss the pre-surgery orgasms which were so intense, so strong, and with the ejaculation, the entire adventure was awesome (and it included the roll over, don't touch me any more, and fall asleep type of ending).

      When I do (currently) have the better orgasms (after all that we do, to get there), i do still get the rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, and the final conclusion - with the breathing slowing down, and heart rate slowing down. so, there is some similarities to the pre-surgery. If i had to describe specifically where things differ, i would say that the feelings and sensation in my penis are not as intense as pre-surgery. And i mean this very specifically to "during the orgasm". Leading up to the orgasm, when my wife touches me, recently, it has felt darn near 90-100% as intense (how good it feels as she touches me in different ways. I did not have such intense "turn on" kind of feelings for the first two months, maybe three months following surgery. Especially in the first 3-4 weeks after Cath removal, when she would touch me, i almost felt nothing, almost like things were numb. but as the weeks pass, the degree of "turn on" (how good it feels, when she touches me) has slowly gotten better and better.

      Not sure if anyone does this. but we have better results when i am kneeling on my knees (both in terms of my achieving fullness, and in terms of final orgasm, if she is doing manual or oral stimulation). When i am on my back (one of my preferred pre-sugery positions), things just don't seem to work as well. and, when i enter her, as others have stated, i do tend to lose some of the hardness that was there while kneeing. I guess i mention this for those who have never tried kneeling, and who have yet to experience any hardness or pleasure, you might find it helpful.. For those who are not having any ED problems, then obviously that suggestion is not meaningful to you.
      Age: 53
      8/1/2008: PSA 6.2, GP recommended retake.
      8/27/2008: PSA 5.8 (%free 12.1) referred to Urologist.
      9/10/2008: DRE - non palpable. Urologist recommended biopsy
      10/2008 Biopsy appt:
      10/21/2008: Biopsy results; 1 positive out of 10 samples.
      Biopsy Results: Gleason 7 (3+4) , no evidence of perineural invasion.
      Referred to UCSF
      12/19/2008: Transrectal Ultrasound at UCSF
      12/19/2008: Consultation with Surgeon.
      Surgeon concurred on Gleason 7=3+4 (per slides).
      2/24/2009: Robotic Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy (DaVinci) UCSF
      3/5/09: Cathetor removal.
      Post Op Pathology: margins negative/clear, Gleason 4+3=7
      4/8/09: first post-op Ultrasensative PSA: less than 0.01
      Currently taking Viagra, Levitra (tried Cialis).
      Purchased and using Osbon manual pump.

      Regular Member

      Date Joined Dec 2008
      Total Posts : 60
         Posted 8/3/2009 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   

      I have this situation also. I know that, although not as difficult as ED, this particular situation is frustrating. I brought this up several months ago and those unfortunate guys still dealing with ED also lashed out at me. I count my self blessed considering the cancer looks to be gone and the test keep posting zeros but I find myself frustrated. Work right up to the grand finale and dud!!!!!!!!!! Now once or twice is a challenge but repeatedly is frustrating. I feel for you and I keep hoping it gets better. We all continue to deal with this beast. The reminders manifest themselves in different ways but keep up the fight.

      Hoping all turns out well for you eventually,
      Age at Dx:48, currently 49
      PSA May 08 2.96
      referred to uro
      PSA June 08 3.44
      biopsy 7/25/08-29 core samples
      path 7/31/08-8 of 29 PCa/10% involved L/R base and mid
      high grade PIN in apex/seminal vesicles clear stage GS 3/3=6 pT2a
      10/7/08 robotic at Cleveland Clinic-Dr. Kaouk
      10/10/08 path GS 3/3=6 pT2c
      cancer contained/neg margins
      PSA Jan/09 .03
            Apr/09 .03
             Jun/09 .03

      Veteran Member

      Date Joined Dec 2008
      Total Posts : 673
         Posted 8/3/2009 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   
      Unfortunately Jeff, I'm in the same boat. My post-op orgasms have not been very good. When I've had at least a partial erection, they're better. It seems the more erect, the better. So, I'm diligently using my pump, healing the best I can, hoping for the best. Meds aren't working for me very well right now.

      Not to take away from anything here, maybe may be a more appropriate place to talk about this. I hope I'm not offending anyone or being out of line suggesting this. As great as this site is for PCa, I'm not comfortable talking about specifics of ED here.

      Lower left groin hernia: mesh and large scar: surgery early 2006
      Nov/Dec 07 and March 08 and now Dec 08: Severe perineal pain (between scrotum and rectum). Septra/Bactrim for 8 months (Nov 07-Jun 08) for diagnosed prostatitis.
      PSA start of 2008: 5.3..... PSA June of 2008: 7.3
      14 DRE all benign or nothing felt
      TRUS Biopsy Nov 08: Got copy of pathology (see below). Prostate about 40 cm sq.
      General Health: pretty good, 5' 10", 180 lbs, slim.
      Bone scan Dec 08: Negative
      Barium enema X-ray (March 09 due to several days of blood in stool)
      MRI with endorectal coil (April 09 as part of a study)
      3D advanced TRUS (April 09 as part of a study)
      CT (April 09 as part of a study)
      Biopsy Pathology: 5 of 8 cores positive, adenocarinoma in both lobes. 30%-65%. One core perineural invasion. 2 cores "foamy" and suspicious. All +ve cores, 3+3 GS 6.
      Open RP surgery: May 5/09 Surgeon spoke to my wife and was very positive. Said both nerve bundles spared and not damaged. Bilateral lymph node dissection performed. Discharged 48 hours after surgery. Staples out, catheter out and pathology sheduled for May 21.
      Post Surgery Pathology: pT3a N0 MX, extraprostatic extension (EPE), stage III prostate cancer, lymph nodes clear, seminal vesicles clear, Gleason upraded to 3+4 GS 7. EPE within surgical margins. Other than prostate and EPE, all tissue removed negative for cancer involvement.
      Physical State: Getting back to working out slowly. Urinary control pretty much from the time of catheter removal. Rectal pain, sometimes bad but, told is normal. Erectile function at best 25-30% of presurgery. Trying Levitra...first 10 mG dose gave me nasal congestion, 50% chubby and a 24 hour headache...may go away with more use or change of meds. Considering pump. Recovery from surgery going very well.
      Mental State: Pre-surgery anxiety gone. Positive attitude. Some anxiety about seeing radiation oncologist and upcoming 3 month PSA. 

      New Member

      Date Joined Aug 2009
      Total Posts : 1
         Posted 8/3/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
      Hey jeff, just browsing through the site looking for a connection and yours seemed to hit.  Had robotic surgery March 31, 2009.  recovered well and progressed well until several weeks ago.  leakage increased, erections went away and most feeling.  Can relate to your situation.  Although we are some of the lucky ones, there is still a grieving process going on.  Things aren't the way they used to be and the change occured quickly for me, and probably you too.  Have nothing else to say, just searching right now.  good luck and hopefully things will improve.
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