I'll be 3 years out from surgery in September and have the same problems with orgasms that you have.
They are so unsatisfactory from intercourse that I've stopped even going for them.
I'll back off if I get too close to having one because I don't want to have one.
I JO to have an orgasm because it's better and I don't have the disappointment and the drop off in my libido during sex.
Which brings up a side issue. I don't mean to T/J, but my libido has always left the building once I have an orgasm.
By not having one during intercourse, I'm more interested in hanging around for awhile afterwards, so that's been a big advantage of the whole thing. My wife actually likes the fact that I don't have an orgasm.
Maybe this method would be worth a try.