Sheldon, your thoughts are as valid and welcome as any of mine, or anyone else for that matter. It helps to talk through the myriads of feelings.
Based in your description of the two camps of thinking, the positive spin folks either never had PC or any other serious cancer, perhaps not even had a loved one close to them with cancer, and can easily spin away the negative side of dealing with cancer.
On the other hand, the realists, they are us, they are the victims of cancer, or perhaps one of their spouses/other halves, or other close family member. They are the ones like me (not singling me out for any particular reason) that sitting here on a sofa with a catheter up my penis 9 months after a surgery for PC that was said to be successful, knowing then I may already have reaccurance this soon, and may have to start radiation treatments soon if that is true.
Despite my grumblings here time to time, I try to express an honest day by day accountability of my travel, I don't like to blow smoke up anyone's a**, I don't find that helpful or honest. Life isn't all bad by any means, but its not all bon bons and long stem roses.
I am a realist. I can say, it could be so much worse, and I know people in real life dealing with much worse. But I can also say, wouldn't it have been nice if this never have happened to me, was quite content with my life as a whole prior to my PC dx last fall.
This past year is a blur to me. I can't believe it is now August. Still not convinced anything has been solved, with the exception that I no longer have a prostate gland, no longer can ejaculate, no longer can pee like a race horse or hold my bladder all day, etc.
For me, my life will never be the same again, no amount of positive thinking courses is going to change that reality, so I do what ever other realist does, you adapt. Yesterday's normal is gone, tommorow normal may be it, and even that may change once again in the future.
The single biggest thing that holds me together enough not to simply fall apart, is that of the love of my wife and immediate family. They give me the hope to fight, to hold on, to live to fight another day, to continue the struggle, or even the reason to want to struggle. I couldn't even comprehend how one deals with something like this if they are truly alone in this world.
The news media does no justice to men who have PC when they down play or sugar coat or simplify Prostate Cancer, it leaves the wrong image, and sure doesn't help all the poor men dealing with treatment choices, bad side effects, and the constant fear of reaccurance.
That's my thought on a Saturday morning.
David in SC
Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes
2009 PSA 2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/11 ?
Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, scarring closed up bladder neck, again