dad just diagnosed, need comfort.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/8/2009 6:21 PM (GMT -6)   
hey guys,

my dad got diagnosed with PC this last wednesday, after an entire day of freaking out and crying in corners, i put myself together and decided to approach the situation logically. I have some questions for those of you who have gone through this before. First here's his stats:

DRE1: 'slightly enlarged prostate'.
PSA (taken AFTER the DRE): 5.26
DRE2 (3 days later, by different doctor): 'slightly hardened prostate'
Gleason: 3+4
Mostly on the right lobe.
My dad's had no symptoms.
don't know how many samples were positive out of 12. (in my panic, forgot to ask the doctor).

Bone scan, CT scan, CAT scan to be taken in 11 days.

Here is my question:

How likely is it that the bone scan will show metastasis to the bone? And how likely is it that it's spread to the lymph nodes or anywhere else?

Thank you so much for your support. I expect to be visiting this site very frequently in the future.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 8/8/2009 6:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Student,

Thanks for finding us here. I know how utterly scared you must be for your father right now, the good news is that you have plenty of time to learn about prostate cancer, to study treatment options that would right for him, and to plan ahead.

To answer your question, it is highly unlikely that the bone scan and ct will come back positive. Because the biopsy came back a gleson 7, it is the usual practice of most urologist to run the two tests. Neither test hurts, and it should help begin to put your mind at ease a bit.

At this point in time, all options are on the table. There are many men here experienced in all of the treatment methods.

If you get a chance, find out from the dr. how many cores were positive and what the % of cancer was found in the cores.

Please take comfort, that nothing terrible is going to happen because of this diagnosis any time soon, there is lots of time to workl through this.

I will be thinking of you and your father, and if we can help you here, we will be glad to work through the whole process with you along the way.

My best to you,

David in SC
Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
 Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes 
2009 PSA   2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/11 ?
Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, scarring closed up bladder neck, corrective laser surgery scheduled for 8/18

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 8/8/2009 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi student25,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. When you hear the "C word" applied to you or family members, it is a very scary situation! Cancer has hit our family twice in the last five years.

I know it is easy for someone to say, but please don't panic. There is so much that can and will be done to help you Dad through this challenge.

You have come to a good site that will provide you with support and encouragement and we welcome you with open arms. We'd like to see you Dad join as well, if possible. Please obtain more information his pathology and his age, if you don't mind.

The good news is that your Dad's current PSA is relatively low. That is a good sign. Also, you mentioned that the cancer is mostly in one lobe which can also be a good sign.

Folks can't tell you with accuracy whether or not the cancer might have spread. However, as far as general percentages go, the cancer is more likely to be contained in the prostate or locally in the prostate bed. The scans are performed to rule out spread of cancer and those results will aid your Dad and his doctor in deciding on the proper treatment.

Please know that the good people here will be monitoring your posts and will provide the support that we can.

This is a time for gathering information about this disease and the many options available to your Dad and carefully evaluating what the right next steps should be.

We live in a good time in history to address your Dad's challenge.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Kind regards,

Da Vinci LRP July 31, 2007… 54 on surgery day
PSA 4.3 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a Confined to Prostate
6th PSA 06/09 still less than 0.1

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 8/8/2009 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Student, I am so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. I can feel your love for him in the way you express your words. Like David said thank goodness you have some time to get your thoughts together and help your dad learn all he can about this disease. There are so many options on the table right now. Let us pray that the test will prove that the cancer is contained to the prostate which it likely is. I will be thinking about you and hope you will stay with us and share everything you can. We care about you and your dad very much.

peace and love
My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 47 (current)

My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes (3 positive) was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
Currently on Lupron
I go to The Cancer Treatment Center of America
Married with two kids
latest PSA 5-27-08 0.11

PSA July 24th, 2008 is 0.04
PSA Dec 16th, 2008 is .016
PSA Mar 30th, 2009 is .02
PSA July 28th 2009 is .01

Testosterone keeps rising, the current number is 156, up from 57 in May

T level dropped to 37 Mar 30th, 2009
cancer in 4 of 6 cores

John T
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 4269
   Posted 8/8/2009 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
The chances of a bone or CT scan showing anything is very low. With your dad's stats a total cure is probably in the 70% range. In any event it can be controlled for many years, he's going to be around for a long time so don't panic and have him research all options for treatment that are available. Seek out only the best doctors that specialize in PC.

64 years old.

PSA rising for 10 years to 40, free psa 10-15. Had 5 urologists, 12 biopsies and MRIS all neg. Doctors DX BPH and continue to get biopsies yearly. Positive Biopsy in 10-08, 2 cores of 25, G6 less than 5%. Scheduled Surgery as recommended.

2nd Opinion from Dr Sholtz, an Oncologist said DX wrong, path shows indolant cancer, but psa history indicates large cancer or metastasis. Futher tests and Color Doppler confirmed large transition zone tumor that 13 biopsies and MRIS missed. G 4+3 approx 2.5cm diameter.

Combidex MRI in Holland eliminated lymphnode mets. Casodex and Proscar reduced psa to 0.6 and prostate from 60mm to 32mm. Changed diet, no meat and dairy.

Seed implants on 5-19-09, 3 hours door to door, no pain, minor side affects are frequency and burining urination. Daily activities resumed day after implants.

Scheduled for 5 weeks IMRT in July


Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2461
   Posted 8/8/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Student,
Sorry about your Dad's diagnosis. My children ware more scared than I was when I was diagnosed. It shows your love and concern for him. As has been said, the word cancer is a scary word and it brings a lot of emotions and fear to the patient and the family. PC is a slow growing type of cancer and many people die from other causes rather than PC itself. My Dad had PC but he died of old age at 89.
Your dad has time to evaluate all the treatment options available to him and the side effects of each treatment. Also know that PC is curable if caught early and if it hasn't spread to the outside of the prostate. My prayers for you and your Dad.
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08
PSA 9/05 1.15; 8/06 1.45; 12/07 2.41; 8/08 3.9; 11/08 3.5 free PSA 11%
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4) and (4+5)
Negative CT scan and bone scan done on 1/16
Robotic surgery performed 2/9/09 Dr Fagin, Austin TX
Pathology report:
Prostate weighed 57 grams size:5.2 x 5.0 x 4.9 cm
Posterior lateral lesions measuring 1.5 x 1.4 x 1.0 cm showing focal capsular penetration over a distance of 3mm.
Prostatic adenocarciroma accounts for approx. 10-20% of the hemisphere.
Gleason 4+4
both nerve bundles removed,
pT3a Nx Mx, Negative margins
seminal vesicles clean, lymph nodes: not dissected
continent after 4 months
8 weeks PSA test 4/7/09 result <0.1
5 months PSA test 7/9/09 result <0.1

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 384
   Posted 8/8/2009 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
You have taken the first step to help your father and that is to learn about this disease. You will find much info here. My father was treated for prostate cancer in 1997 and is doing fine today! Now I am starting the journey being recently diagnosed with this. Learn what you can, listen to your dad, show him that you care, offer to go with him to his appointments, etc. Also if possible see if there is a local prostate cancer support group that you can take him to. It helps tremendously to talk to others in person, via the phone, email or on these forums. They have been great for me!

Your amoung friends here!

Age at diagnosis 54, PSA 5.1
Father treated for Prostate Cancer in 1997 with Proton
Biopsy 04/08 12 cores, 5 positive
Gleason 3 Cores at 4+3=7
              2 Cores at 3+4=7
Perineural Invasion Noted on biopsy

Robotic surgery Scheduled 08/12/09 at Vanderbilt, Nashville TN. 

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/9/2009 4:37 AM (GMT -6)   
hey guys,

thank you so much for your words. They mean the world to me. Somehow hearing it from others who have gone through similar things is more reassuring than hearing it from friends. I feel better today, after obsessively amassing a wealth of information. On monday I'm going for his medical records and do some more research. I will post my findings here, both to receive some comments and hopefully to help others that are newly diagnosed and feel lost. This will be hard on all of us, but I know, I KNOW we will get through it.

Once again, thank you all.

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/9/2009 11:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Student,
Your dad is lucky to have you!  To add to your resources - we found Dr. Patrick Walsh's book Understanding Prostate Cancer to be very helpful - our urologist recommended it.  It is clearly written, covers all the options and is generally a great reference to have around.  Best to you and your family as you tackle this challenge!
husband, age 56
psa 4.3
biopsy 5/20/09 - 2/14 positive, 3+3=6
consultation 6/4/09 - revised to 3+4=7
open surgery 7/31/09; discharge 8/4
catheter out 8/7
T2a, N0, Mx, Gleason 7 (3+4)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 8/9/2009 12:08 PM (GMT -6)   
The upcoming scans may seem really scary but they seem to be a standard medical test after a positive biopsy. While waiting for the scans and the results I could imagine every part of my body being eaten away. But if you look at the sigs of the people here you will see that a very high proportion (I would guess 90% or 95% or higher) come back clean.

In fact, the vast majority of men diagnosed with PC will die of something completely unrelated.

By the way, I am a numbers kind of guy and I found comfort in the sites what let you calculate where You (In this case your dad) stand statistically.

You will soon start to realize that prostate cancer offers many very good treatment choices and a lot of the conversation on this site involves sorting out the options -- something that each person has to do on his own or with his family.

Anyway, we are here to help and support you and your dad in whatever way we can.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2692
   Posted 8/9/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -6)   
One thng I will caution you is to be sure your dad wants to hear what you have to say. What I mean is, sometimes when we are first diagnosed, we go through different stages of self-pity, denial, anger, humilation, etc. At some of these stages, we don't want to talk about it.

Maybe just take your Dad fishing, or to the races, or whatever your dad likes to do. Let him open the talking opportunities. For me personally, I did all the research, much of which I didn't like, and for the most part, just want to be treated normal, like i was before cancer.

Sometimes my kids will say Oh dad, let me carry that, or let me do that, implying that I am too weak or fragile. I'm 6'2 and 240 lbs. I can do everything I could before I had surgery ( well, almost everything )

Just a word from my personal experience. Good luck and let us help any way we can. Hopefully, at some point you can get your dad to jump on here. The therapy we get is really undescribable !
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared
0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks due to anatomical issues with location of ureters with respect to bladder neck.  Try 3 tubes where no tubes are supposed to be for 2 weeks !
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 8/9/2009 3:54 PM (GMT -6)   
goodlife has good advice
What you learn is up to you but what you say depends very much on you and your dad. I don’t ask my 20 year old son for medical advice, but sometimes I get it.

The other night I got a bowl of potato chips and sat down to watch the ballgame on TV. I got up to go to the bathroom (still a post-surgery issue) and get myself a beer. When I got back, there was a bowl of baby carrots where the chips used to be. I looked at my son and he innocently informed me that a band of fat gremlins had broken in and performed the switch. I ate the carrots with good grace, but I held on to the beer bottle until it was finished.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 476
   Posted 8/10/2009 4:57 PM (GMT -6)   
For me, hearing stories of other people in a similar situation was a great comfort. Here is the support site with lots of info and survival stories: If you look around or look at the nomogram that geezer posted, your Dad's chances are very good. It is scary to hear a cancer diagnosis, but I always remind myself what my Oncologist told me - "Prostate cancer is a chronic disease, most people don't die from it, but many die with it". Your father needs to know you are there for him and that you love him. All the best to him and you.

Father died from poorly differentiated PCa @ 78 - normal PSA and DRE

5 biopsies over 4 years negative while PSA going from 3.8 to 28

Dx Nov 2007, age 46, PSA 29, Gleason 4+4=8

Decided to participate in clinical trial at Duke - 6 rounds of chemo (Taxotere+Avastin)

PSA prior to treatment on 1/8/2008 is 33.90, bounced on 1/31/2008 to 38.20, and down at the end of the treatment (4/24/2008) to 20.60

RRP at Duke (Dr. Moul) on 6/16/2008, Gleason downgraded 4+3=7, T3a N0MX, focal extraprostatic extension, two small positive margins

PSA undetectable for 8 months, then 2/6/2009-0.10, 4/26/2009-0.17, 5/22/2009-0.20, 6/11/2009-0.27

Salvage IMRT + 6 Months ADT: Casodex started 6/12/2009, Lupron 6/22/2009, PSA 6/25/2009-0.1, T=516, 7/23/2009-<0.05, T<10, IMRT to start mid-Aug

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 8/11/2009 12:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell. This site has helped everybody from the guy who got diagnosed, the spouse, and svery very caring and loving son's and daughters wanting to help dear old dad. Additionally, I have seen the kids ask the hard questions and become their fathers voice of stability. Above is some absolutely great things to think about. You will find genuine helpers here and that is a blessing. One of our moderators here is one of those very caring daughters ~ Doting Daughter, and she will tell you that your love will go a long way to help your father.

You fathers numbers appear well within reason to expect a great outcome.

Again, welcome and we look forward to helping in any way we can...

 Age 47 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8 : Surgery at The City of Hope on February 16, 2007
Geason 4+3=7, Stage pT3b, N0, Mx
Positive Margins (PM), Extra Prostatic Extension (EPE) : Bilateral Seminal vesicle invasion (SVI)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg (2 Year ADT)
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
Current PSA (May 11, 2009): <0.1
My Journal is at Tony's Blog  

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/12/2009 5:43 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm feeling much better. Dad, mom and brother are great as well. We've managed to even joke about it, talk about crazy things people back in my country (cuba) do to get rid of diseases (very colorful stuff lol) and keeping a good outlook. Thank you all for your comforting words!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, September 23, 2018 9:11 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,005,835 posts in 329,269 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 161807 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Wimp7755.
271 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
SoMuchFun, PeterDisAbelard., BossJ, sandyfeet, SG091, pasayten, zack36, bebbles, Pratoman, Lynnwood, 61Impala, CatLady18