You and your family are also survivors of this disease...indirectly or directly. Much the same as us men that have the disease and are surviving, so are our wifes, significant others and immediate family and close friends. Each of us take the news of cancer differently and deal with it differently. You are showing true compassion in seeking information from other survivors, whether it is the men themselves or others that are involved.
When I was diagnosed, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer within a month. Both her and I debated long and hard about
telling our elderly mother. We lost our dad to cancer 10 years ago and it has been very hard on her. Our thoughts at the time was not to burden her with worry, but we put ourselves in her shoes and realized that would be a very big mistake not to tell her. We were both so surprise to feel her compassion, not the worry we had expected from her. To this day she is very supportive and doesn't bring the subject of cancer up, unless we do first. For my sister and I, this is very comforting as we didn't want our weekly phone calls to her to be about
cancer. The point is...having cancer is what we have, not who we are.
There will never be a clear cut answer to what will happen down the road, be it tomorrow or next year. As a survivor, you will cope with that and learn more than ever, that what really counts is today, because tomorrow will take care of itself despite what you will do today. Your fathers choices he makes today, could certainly change tomorrow and even he doesn't know what will come next. It is very trying, very stressful to not know where this disease may lead, but we learn to cope and do whatever we can to minimize the anxiety that goes along with that. Most of us do just fine between the monthly, quarterly or yearly PSA tests, but the preceeding days leading up to each test are always filled with worry and the what-ifs.
You won't be able to know whats going to happen next, but you do know what is going on today...take full advantage of that each and every day. Let your father talk about
his disease, when he is ready and only as often as he wants...otherwise let your visits with him involve about
what is going on with your life...he will love to hear all about
You are beating back cancer, so hold your head up with dignity
Age 58 at Diagnosis
Oct 2006 - PSA 2.6 - DRE Normal
May 2008 - PSA 4.6 - DRE Normal / TRUS normal
July 2008 - Biopsy 4 of 12 Positive 5 - 30% Involved Bilateral w/PNI - Gleason (3+3)6 Stage T1C
Robotic Surgery Sept 18, 2008
Pathology October 1, 2008 - Gleason 7 (3+4) Staged pT2c NO MX - Gland 50 cc
Seminal Vesicles and Lymph Nodes clear
Positive Margins Right Posterior Lobe
PSA 5 week Oct 2008 <.05
3 month Jan 2009 .06
6 month Apr 2009 .06
9 month Jul 2009 .08
Post Edited (LV-TX) : 8/13/2009 10:09:20 AM (GMT-6)