Thank you for sharing. I know it is not easy to ask advice from the strangers and let them scrutinize your actions. This is the most compassionate group of people with a lot of collective withdom, so you definetly made the right choice. Over short time I come to think of these folks as friends and I am sure you will too.
I can relate to all the comments above. My dad died from PCa and I did not know of his disease until a couple of months from his passing away. I was upset at him, my mom and sister for not telling me. I tried to make those two months count, but I wish I knew earlier.
Then, a couple of years later, I was diagnosed myself. And to echo prior comments, it was one of the hardest things to do when I told my kids and my mom and sisters. I knew I cause them severe pain and it was hard to handle.
So, I relate to how you feel and I understand your fathers motivation as well. I completely agree with the advice above - treat him as you would treat him if he were healthy (except you may try to spend more time with him). And share your life. Most of all be positive for the both of you.
My son is going to be a father shortly and my wife and I were part of that journey every step of the way - should we learn the sex of the baby? What kind of car seat to buy? What diet should mother have? How does the baby look on ultra sound? It brought us a lot of positive energy. While I hope to see the baby, I would hate to give up this experience even if I could not.
Finally, a thought on self-centeredness. It is absolutely normal to have as a first reaction a "what does it mean to me" thinking. I will venture to say we all react like this at first. Then we start thinking of other ways to look at an issue. I did not see your post as anything other than a first reaction of a very caring and loving son.
So, share your love with your father and keep us here posted.
Father died from poorly differentiated PCa @ 78 - normal PSA and DRE
5 biopsies over 4 years negative while PSA going from 3.8 to 28
Dx Nov 2007, age 46, PSA 29, Gleason 4+4=8
Decided to participate in clinical trial at Duke - 6 rounds of chemo (Taxotere+Avastin)
PSA prior to treatment on 1/8/2008 is 33.90, bounced on 1/31/2008 to 38.20, and down at the end of the treatment (4/24/2008) to 20.60
RRP at Duke (Dr. Moul) on 6/16/2008, Gleason downgraded 4+3=7, T3a N0MX, focal extraprostatic extension, two small positive margins
PSA undetectable for 8 months, then 2/6/2009-0.10, 4/26/2009-0.17, 5/22/2009-0.20, 6/11/2009-0.27
Salvage IMRT + 6 Months ADT: Casodex started 6/12/2009, Lupron 6/22/2009, PSA 6/25/2009-0.1, T=516, 7/23/2009-<0.05, T<10, IMRT to start mid-Aug
Post Edited (Geebra) : 8/12/2009 10:49:40 AM (GMT-6)