Making Love Again

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Sonny3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2448
   Posted 8/28/2009 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
As I have said many times since I was diagnosed with PC on June 25th this forum has been an extremely helpful, knowledgeable and supportive group. My decision for surgery and the Dr. I chose have been as a result of the information learned here. The discussions of each man's journey have opened me to research and discussions that before had never been a part of my life.

There have been many publications mentioned here and I have looked into or ordered many of them.

I have always maintained that getting rid of the cancer was to me a forgone conclusion, but rather I wanted a "Quality of Life Afterward."

My search for information has led me to the book, "Making Love Again". Written by Virginia and Keith Laken, it is a true story written by a husband and wife who have journeyed through the process of PC and surgery and the search for Quality of Life and Love.

I ordered it 2 days ago, it arrived last evening and I read it completely from cover to cover with my morning coffee today.

It is not just about the mechanics of sex, but rather the search for intimacy, loving, caring and compassion that we all seem to take for granted or let slip from our lives as we go about living from day to day.

I feel so blessed with having the chance to read this before my surgery.

No matter where you are in the process; waiting for treatment, had the treatment, having ED issues or not, I feel that this is must read for every husband and wife.

My wife's cancer Dr. felt the need to postpone her Stem Cell Transplant by a week because she had the sniffles in July of 2006. When my wife expressed displeasure about having to extend our already lengthy (14 weeks)stay in Houston, the Dr. responded with words that have guided me almost daily.

"WHEN GOD TALKS, YOU GOTTA LISTEN".

I feel that this book was placed in my path because of my search for another book that was mentioned on this forum.

Take a minute, look it up on your own, and give it a thought.

I promise that no matter what you glean from reading this, great or small, each of us will learn something about having a more fulfilling, stronger and loving relationship with our significant others.

Thanks guys,

Sonny
60 years old
PSA November 2007 3.0
PSA May 2009 6.4
Diagnosis confirmed July 9, 2009
12 Needle Biopsy = 9 clear , 3 postive
<5%, 90%, 40%
Gleason Score (3+4) 7 in all positive cores
CT Organ Scan - negative
Nuclear Bone Scan - Negative

Surgery set for September 2009 with Dr. Mani Menon at the Henry Ford Medical Center in Detroit.


Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4849
   Posted 8/28/2009 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
It is not just about the mechanics of sex, but rather the search for intimacy, loving, caring and compassion that we all seem to take for granted or let slip from our lives as we go about living from day to day.
So very true.
Age 54   - 5'11"   205lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
05/14/09  - 4th Quarter PSA -> less then .01
Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 8/28/2009 2:34 PM (GMT -6)   
I bought that book before my surgery and my wife and I read it, not knowing what shape I would be in the ED department ahead of time. Its a good read, and I would reccomend it too. If anyone wants a copy, I would be happy to pass on mine free of charge. Just email me an address to send it, and I will take care of the postage. THen when you are through, you can pass it on.

David in SC
 Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
 Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes 
2009 PSA   2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/9 .16
Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, 8/14 met with Rad Oncl, 8/18 - laser scope surgery to clear blockage, now on Cath #7, 8/26 - cath removed
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


lewvino
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 384
   Posted 8/28/2009 4:19 PM (GMT -6)   
David,
I would like to read it,
Please send to Larry Wineland
239 Jameson Drive
Georgetown, Tn. 37336

I'll be glad to pass it on also.
Age at diagnosis 54, PSA 5.1
Father treated for Prostate Cancer in 1997 with Proton Beam - Still doing well.
My Stats
Biopsy 04/08 12 cores, 5 positive
Gleason 3 Cores at 4+3=7, 2 Cores at 3+4=7
Perineural Invasion Noted on biopsy

Robotic surgery 08/12/09 at Vanderbilt, Nashville TN. 
 
Post Surgery - Dr. Spared 100% of Nerves on the left side.
Estimated that 50 - 70% of the nerves were spared on the right side.
 
Final Path report
20% of the prostate Invovled
Tumor graded at T2C
Overall Gleason 3+4 (7)
Lymph Glands Clear
Positive Margin 1.8 cm in length Noted in Right Apex


livinadream
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1382
   Posted 8/28/2009 6:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny thanks so much for posting this. I am not familiar with the book but I can assure you I am going to get it. You are blessed my friend as all of us are. We have to find the grace disguised in what we do and what happens to us and it sounds like you have.

peace and love
dale
My PSA at diagnosis was 16.3
age 47 (current)

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dalechildress

My gleason score from prostate was 4+5=9 and from the lymph nodes (3 positive) was 4+4=8
I had 44 IMRT's
Casodex
Currently on Lupron
I go to The Cancer Treatment Center of America
Married with two kids
latest PSA 5-27-08 0.11

PSA July 24th, 2008 is 0.04
PSA Dec 16th, 2008 is .016
PSA Mar 30th, 2009 is .02
PSA July 28th 2009 is .01

Testosterone keeps rising, the current number is 156, up from 57 in May

T level dropped to 37 Mar 30th, 2009
cancer in 4 of 6 cores
92%
80%
37%
28%


RIS
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 8/28/2009 8:09 PM (GMT -6)   

Sonny you are right on.  My wife and I received a copy of "Making Love Again" from the coordinator of the MDX 010 experimental drug study, and Dr. Kwon, from the Mayo Clinic, who told me I cannot live in fear any more.  The Book, and encouragement of those who know what we face is fantastic.  Kathy and I have had a changed life since.  I would be happy to talk with any one who wants to know joy again.

Dick


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 8/28/2009 8:30 PM (GMT -6)   
lew, another brother beat you to my offer with an email, perhaps he will pass it on to you. wish i had more than one copy to share.
sorry.

david in sc
 Age 57, 56 at DX, PSA 7/7 5.8, 7/8 12.3,9/8 14.5
3rd Biopsy Sept 08: Positive 7 of 7 cores, 40-90%, Gleason 7, 4+3
Open RP surgery 11/14/8, Right nerves spared, 4 days hospital, staples out 11/24/8, 5th cath out on 1/19/9
 Pathlogy Report:Gleason 3+4=7, pT2c, 42 grm, tumor 20%, Contained in capsule, one post. margin, clear lymph nodes 
2009 PSA   2/9 .05, 5/9 .10, 6/9 .11, 8/9 .16
Lastest 7/13 met with Rad. Oncl, considering options, 7/20 Catheter #6 after complete blockage, 8/14 met with Rad Oncl, 8/18 - laser scope surgery to clear blockage, now on Cath #7, 8/26 - cath removed
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Jstars
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 8/28/2009 10:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny,

I am glad you are thinking ahead on what life might be like up to and thru surgery ( both mechanics and emotions and your partners feelings too).

One thing that I personally advocate for all guys that have their surgery planned (but not yet completed) is to try experimenting with the three ED drugs in the time remaining leading up to surgery. Do this even if you do not have any problems in this area because:

#1: It is kind of fun and exciting to try them out if you never had before -- we all wonder about those Four Hour Erections they keep warning about.

#2 If you are getting to the old geezer stage you might not even realize you have slipped down a few notches in the performance department and might be pleasantly surprised that you get some of it back.

#3 It could be of invaluable help (and dollars saved) to know which, if any, of the three seem to work under normal circumstances so you will have a better idea of what might work someday post-surgery.

#4 Did I mention it will be kind of fun to experiment with these?? Might also allow you to blow off steam and reduce or even overcome pre-surgery anxiety (which definitely could affect performance in the short term) a LOT more often than you might be able to do au natural.

You can always call your URO or the PA and beg for a few samples -- even using the excuse that you are having some anxiety related problems. Also that you would like to know what might work before you go to the ED stage. They will happily oblige i am sure.

So, a little Better Living Thru Chemistry, combined with some fun and games should go a long way to getting you thru the early stages of PCa and surgery.
Age 58, 195lbs, 6'4", 57 at DX, PSA Aug2008 7 4 ... June2007 4.7 (BPH + LUTS)
Biopsy Nov2008 1 of 12 cores 5%, Gleason 3+3 - Sona showed size 140+ cc (110 grams post op).
02/03/09 open RRP surgery , Nerve sparing both sides, 1 day in hospital, Day 4 first BM,
Pathology Report: All margins clear - No Invasive spread - no change in Gleason score.
02/18/09 Cath out, passed a 1cm oblong STONE within hours.
03/06/09 Started Levitra@20mg / Viagra@100mg / (04/01) Cialis@20mg -- no real effect (thru 07/2009).
04/01/09, 07/07/09 PSA <0.1 - Stone Was Oxalate stone -- X-ray no stones.
08/07/2009 - MUSE@1000mcg@Uro Office -- worked OK -- AlProstadil ache not bad.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3742
   Posted 9/2/2009 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I heard that you get better results if you go into the surgery with a completely empty prostate.
That was my goal! I even slipped the Urp $50 so he would tell my wife that.
The above statement may just be a rumor -a GFMPH thing (Good for men's Prostate health).
But who cares?!?! You'll both be glad you spent the time together.
DX Age 56. First routine PSA test on April 8th: 17.8. My GP does not believe in general PSA screening so I did not get results during my 50 year physical.
May PSA: 22.6, 3 weeks later: PSA: 23.2.
Biopsy 6/10/09: 7/12 scores positive, Gleason 6=3+3. Bone scan and C/T scan negative.
----------------------------------------------
RP DaVinci -7/21/2009 @ Univ of Roch Medical Center
Left nerve gone, right partial spared.
Catheter removed - 7/31/2009 Pathology report received:
Gleason 3+4=7 Tumor size: 2.5 x 1.8 cm location: both lobes and apex. No Malignancy in Seminal Vesicle, vasa deferentia, lymph nodes 0/13
Prostate mass 56 grams. Pathologic Stage: pT3aN0MX
----------------------------------------------
One Month Status:
Potency - No data
Incontinence - 3-4 pads per day

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