Speaking of religion..........mid week funny(nothing to do with PCa)

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BillyMac
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Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:04 PM (GMT -6)   
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'

The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.'

The priest then asked, 'Have you ever eaten pork?'

To which the rabbi replied, 'Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.'

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, 'Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.'

The rabbi then asked him, 'Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith.'

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five Minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats the sh1t out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?
Boom,boom yeah yeah  

geezer99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Does this mean that we need a whole new line of jokes?

Two post-op PCa guys with PSAs of 0.0 walked into a bar ...
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads
6 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Actually, Billy, that made me laugh for the first time today. Good punch line.
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out  38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place


BillyMac
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Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
geezer99 said...
Does this mean that we need a whole new line of jokes?

Two post-op PCa guys with PSAs of 0.0 walked into a bar ...

You asked for it...........

A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says, "I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 99."

The guy obeys and says, "99."

The doctor says, "Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, 99."

Again, the guy says, "99."

The doctor said, "Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, 99."



The guy slowly begins, "One .. Two ... Three ...."

Boom,boom


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Another choice one, Billy
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out  38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place


BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 11/3/2009 9:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope a good belly laugh is not doing you a mischief David.

Radical
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 11/3/2009 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
A guy goes to the Doctor to have his prostate checked, and the doc asked him to bend over while he inserted his finger.  After the examination the doctor explains that he has found something adnormal and would like him to come back next week for a further check up.
 
The guy arrives the following week for the next check-up and asks the doc if this week he could stick two fingers up rather just one.  The doctor asked why he would want such a thing, and the guy replies "I would like a second opinion "................lol ........Kev tongue
Age 51yrs
6 out of 8 cores positive 3 X 60% / 3 X 10%
PSA 4
Gleason Score 3+4=7
Stage T1c
Robotic Surgery 24/12/08
Upgrade Gleason Score 4+3=7 Gleason Differential 60%/40%
Stage T2c
Three small foci total volume <10%
Neg Margins and Nodes
Nil - Extraprostatic Extentions
Dry less than 1 week.
ED- taking Meds- Its been 9 mnths now getting some action ! yay !
PSA 1/09  .03
PSA 2/09  .03
PSA 5/09  .03
PSA 9/09  .03
"Everyday in Everyway I get better"


BillyMac
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 11/4/2009 3:17 AM (GMT -6)   
They're getting better tongue

Radical
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 11/4/2009 3:38 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't know, your a hard act to follow Bill !
Age 51yrs
6 out of 8 cores positive 3 X 60% / 3 X 10%
PSA 4
Gleason Score 3+4=7
Stage T1c
Robotic Surgery 24/12/08
Upgrade Gleason Score 4+3=7 Gleason Differential 60%/40%
Stage T2c
Three small foci total volume <10%
Neg Margins and Nodes
Nil - Extraprostatic Extentions
Dry less than 1 week.
ED- taking Meds- Its been 9 mnths now getting some action ! yay !
PSA 1/09  .03
PSA 2/09  .03
PSA 5/09  .03
PSA 9/09  .03
"Everyday in Everyway I get better"


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 11/4/2009 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Awards Billy Mac, resident comedian of HW Prostate Cancer. A big laugh would only hurt if I were in the middle of a full bladder spasm. So keep them coming.
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out  38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place


English Alf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2215
   Posted 11/4/2009 9:18 AM (GMT -6)   
A guy with Pca walked into a hospital.
You'd have thought he'd have been able to see it wouldnt you! I mean it's a great big thing with Ambulances and stuff parked outside it. 
 
alfred
 
laughing was the only thing that really hurt in the days after the op, that and skydiving.

Age at Dx 48         No Family history  of Prostate Cancer

Married 25 years, and I cannot thank my wife enough for her support.

April 2009: PSA 8.6  DRE: negative. Tumour in 2 out of 12 cores. Gleason 3+3.

RALP (nerve-sparing) at AVL-NKI Hospital Amsterdam on 29th July 2009. Stay 1 night.

Partial erections on 1st and 2nd Aug 2009, Catheter out on 6th Aug 2009. 

Dry at night, but wearing pads 24/7

Post-op Gleason 3+4. Seminal Vesicles invaded, but otherwise negative margins,

Erection 100% on 15th Aug 2009   Stopped wearing pads on 21st Sept 2009

Pre-op style intercourse on 24th Oct 2009 !! No use of tablets, jabs, VED etc.

 


Sonny3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2447
   Posted 11/4/2009 9:28 AM (GMT -6)   
A post surgery PCa brother was standing at the urinal in his favorite pub.

A fellow came up to the position next to him. The brother glanced over and somewhat sadly said to him, "I wish it took four fingers for me to hold mine". The neighbor looked over and said, " but you are holding yours with 4 fingers".

To which the brother replied, "Yeah, but I'm peeing all over three of them.
61 years old
PSA 11/07 3.0
PSA 5/09 6.4
Diagnosis confirmed July 9, 2009
12 Needle Biopsy = 9 clear , 3 postive
<5%, 90%, 40%
Gleason Score (3+4) 7 in all positive cores
CT Organ Scan - negative
Nuclear Bone Scan - Negative

da Vinci 9/17/09 Dr. Mani Menon Henry Ford Medical Institute

Post Surgery Pathology:
Gleason: Changed to (4+3) = 7
Stage: T3a
Tumor Volume 12.5%
ALL NERVES SPARED
Margins: focally positive right posterior mid level
Perineural Invasion: present
Seminal Invasion: absent
Venous Invasion: absent
Angiolymphatic Invasion: absent
Left Internal iliac lymph node: reveals zero
Right Internal lymph node: reveals zero


Sonny3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2447
   Posted 11/4/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
If you will recall we recently had a discussion about PCa and circumcision, so in that light I offer the following.

Two gentleman were standing next to each other at the urinals in the men's room.

One said to the other, "You're Jewish, aren't you". The reply was yes.

He went on, "You go to service over on 5th and Main". A somewhat more interested reply was "yes".

He went further, "And you were circumcised by Rabbi Goldberg, right? Now the fellow was really bewildered and replied with "Yes, but how the heck did you know that'?

The reply, "Because it is widely known that Goldberg cuts on a bias and you are peeing all over my shoes".

Sonny

English Alf
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2215
   Posted 11/4/2009 10:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Some stuff here about how humour helps you cope with cancer.
 
 
Alfred
I lied about the sky-diving

Post Edited (English Alf) : 11/4/2009 1:34:06 PM (GMT-7)


pa69
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 260
   Posted 11/4/2009 7:28 PM (GMT -6)   
It's nice to see a little of the lighter side.

Bob
I'm afraid of skydiving
Age 70, First ever PSA 7.8 taken June 2008, Biopsy July 2008, 10 of 12 cores positive, Gleason 3+3=6
da Vinci surgery December 10, 2008, catheter removed December 29 2008
St. Lukes Hospital, Bethlehem, Pa.
Dr. Frank Tamarkin
Prostate weight 73.0 grams, Gleason 3+3=6, stage pT3a
Tumor locations: right anterior apex, right posterior apex to mid
left anterior mid to base, left posterior apex to mid
extensive perineural invasion in right anterior apex, right and left posterior apex to mid
seminal vesicles negative
Four PSA tests undetectable, latest Oct 30

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