Posted 11/8/2009 9:34 AM (GMT -6)
Bob, I just have the 2, and none others in sight, but have one of each variety. They are quite enough at times, aged 4 and 7
squirm, I could take a break anytime I wish, but all they do is tack it on the end and keep extending you out. I went through this 10 years ago, and despite my griping and moaning, I am determined to stick to the schedule and fight my way through this ordeal
Billy, ouch, that must have hurt for sure. Welding is a skill I never was able to learn, always blamed it on being left handed, lol. Hope that heals fast for you.
zufas, i have tried to stress during these daily srt journals, that some of what i am expericning is not not normal or expected. I am in close tune to my body and how it feels and only try to describe in words exactly what I am feeling. Yes, I knew all the expected side effects ahead of time, no real surprises here, and yes, some people are very hyper to radiation, I was in the past, am now. That's why when I was dx originally with PC, I was brave about having a major surgery, but afraid to got through RT again. My dr and I talked much about that.
yeah bill, looking forward to my Patroiots splattering the Dolphins up in New England
sephie, your verbage shows me you have a pretty good understand of my situation, very good, right on target. the toxcity builds up during the week, thus I feel worse at the weekends, and one tries to re-coup their energy for the next week. Due to my sensitivity to RT in general, and the general weakness I was feeling prior, due to all the other complications and SE, I got hit right away with radiation related fatituge on top of the fatigue I was feeling prior.
As a general statement, is RT or SRT going to be rough for you? Probably not. Do all men here report with total honestly and candor about side effects, pain, fatigue, probably not, knowing my own sex as well as I do.
I write what I feel. If I were trying to blow smoke up someone, I would simply said, oh, no problem, piece of cake. It that were true, be great, but it isn't with me, so I feel it would be a bad service to our friends here, both new and old.
Like I tell my dear wife when I feel overcome somtimes with this entire PC nightmare, I am doing the best I can. There is just nothing normal about PC based on my journey, the men that have the easier time, I am thankful and grateful that they get a break along the way.
But it's not normal to have rapid PSA velocity both pre and post treatment, its not normal to still be on a tenth catheter almost a year after surgery, its not normal to be kicked out of the zero club after only being in it for one test, and its not normal to get slammed so hard by SRT, but, this is my journey, and I am trying to make the best out of a very ugly thing. It will take a lot of future unearned zeros to convince me that the beast of PC has been slayed in me. I am not sure the fight is over yet.
I do appreciate every kind word and piece of advice, all of you are a vital part of my own personal support network. Most of those around me in r/l (not counting family) are oblivious to all of this and of the day to day sufferning and pain. Can't expect them to, they dont know me or my story. So when I am pushing a cart at the grocery story, and the catheter is pulling on my stomach, and a wall of fatigue hits me, or worse, as recently happened, a major spasm hits me full force and I am leaning into a shelf to keep from falling down, those around me just look and think I am so weirdo or crazy old man.
Honestly doing the best I can.
David in SC