Life and My Wife Have Put MY PCa in Perspective

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2447
   Posted 11/11/2009 3:01 AM (GMT -6)   
I know that this is a Prostate Cancer forum. It is here for those of us that are diagnosed to seek answers to our many questions and to seek support from those that have traveled this path before us.

It is because of this tremendous outpouring of support that I have received from you here that I feel the need to update you on the turns that my life has taken in the last 24 hours.

Earlier this evening I updated my status after finding out that at the 30 day (.4) and 7 1/2 week (.53) my PSA tests had failed to reach zero. I mentioned that I felt that I may have set a record for the quickest to go from surgery to radiation at just eight weeks.

I wrote the post from the hospital where I had taken my wife because of symptoms that were not unlike those she had exhibited before when she had a TIA (mini-stroke) while doing battle with her own cancer. Many of you know that I had to plan my dealings with PCa around those battles she was fighting this summer.

I do not in any way, shape or form trivialize or minimize my PCa or PCa in general. But the truth is that my battle with PCa absolutely pales in comparison to the battles my wife has fought and now must fight again.

Tests, CT Scans, MRIs and so on, conducted this evening, have revealed the presence of a lesion on the brain stem of my wife. It is this lesion that has been the source of her pain and symptoms. No doubt that this lesion is a result of her Multiple Myeloma cancer.

She has been admitted to the hospital and we will meet with a consultative groups of doctors in the morning to discus the options and how to address this. It would appear that surgery is not an option, which leaves some form or manner of radiation and/or chemo therapy.

We do not have the details yet, but can only surmise that this will be a tricky and very complex problem to attack.

So my friends, my brothers and my sisters, once again I place my dealings with PCa on hold. I cannot contemplate meeting with my own doctors to begin any form of treatment until my wife and I fight together the battle that she faces.

I know that there have been discussions and disagreements of late on the power of prayer, other beliefs and the manner that we all have as individuals to support our fellow man.

So I am asking you in whatever way is yours individually, to shower my wife with your support as she faces her own battles.

Mine can wait. They must wait. For without her at my side, my battles are meaningless.

I have told all of you here countless times, that I could not have made my journey alone and without you at my side and your support.

Once again I need your support.

Thank your my brother and sisters for being here for me.

61 years old
PSA 11/07 3.0
PSA 5/09 6.4
Diagnosis confirmed July 9, 2009
12 Needle Biopsy = 9 clear , 3 postive
<5%, 90%, 40%
Gleason Score (3+4) 7 in all positive cores
CT Organ Scan - negative
Nuclear Bone Scan - Negative

da Vinci 9/17/09 Dr. Mani Menon Henry Ford Medical Institute

Post Surgery Pathology:
Gleason: Changed to (4+3) = 7
Stage: T3a
Tumor Volume 12.5%
Margins: focally positive right posterior mid level
Perineural Invasion: present
Seminal Invasion: absent
Venous Invasion: absent
Angiolymphatic Invasion: absent
Left Internal iliac lymph node: reveals zero
Right Internal lymph node: reveals zero

Ed C. (Old67)
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2457
   Posted 11/11/2009 3:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I'll say a prayer for you and your wife. I'm a big believer in the power of prayer and regardless of whether it helps or not, it sure makes me feel better to know that someone is praying for me. So here comes a long prayer for you both.
Age: 67 at Dx on 12/30/08
PSA 9/05 1.15; 8/06 1.45; 12/07 2.41; 8/08 3.9; 11/08 3.5 free PSA 11%
2 cores out of 12 were positive Gleason (4+4) and (4+5)
Negative CT scan and bone scan done on 1/16
Robotic surgery performed 2/9/09 Dr Fagin, Austin TX
Pathology report:
Prostate weighed 57 grams size:5.2 x 5.0 x 4.9 cm
Posterior lateral lesions measuring 1.5 x 1.4 x 1.0 cm showing focal capsular penetration over a distance of 3mm.
Prostatic adenocarciroma accounts for approx. 10-20% of the hemisphere.
Gleason 4+4
both nerve bundles removed,
pT3a Nx Mx, Negative margins
seminal vesicles clean, lymph nodes: not dissected
continent after 4 months
8 weeks PSA test 4/7/09 result <0.1
5 months PSA test 7/9/09 result <0.1
8 months PSA test 10/9/09 result <0.1

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 2447
   Posted 11/11/2009 4:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Ed. We appreciate your prayers.


Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 171
   Posted 11/11/2009 5:23 AM (GMT -6)   

I want to open my heart and give you what little faith, strength, courage, and patience I have. Maybe remember that the future is NOT KNOWN. That being said, anything is possible.

I hope to see you a fellow Floridian someday.


Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4068
   Posted 11/11/2009 5:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, What can I say except you already know my prayers are with the 2 of you. You have been such great support to all of us now we can repay just a little. Hang in there my friend.

Jeff T
Jeff T Age 57

9/08 PSA 5.4, referred to Urologist
9/08 Biopsy: GS 3/4=7
10/08 Nerve sparing open RRP- Path Report: GS 3+3=7 Stg. pT2c, margins clear
3 mts: PSA .05 undetectable

10th month PSA <0.01
1year psa <0.01
ED- 5 mg Cialis daily, pump daily, going to try MUSE next. Next step injections.

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25355
   Posted 11/11/2009 7:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, I met your wife, she is a lovely, sweet person in every way. I understand your love and compassion for her, and your devotion to her care is above reproach. But as your friend, you can't just let your life go to hell, you must find a way and the strength to do both.
You have talked to me, you know that know you are at .5 plus in reoccurance, you are in a dangerous window of opportunity if SRT is going to work. The more that PSA craws or doubles over the mark you are at now, the less likely it will be effective. It won't take up that much of your time if you plan well. A half day getting set up basicially at the most, and they should be able to be flexdible with the treatment times to work around time that you need to be with your wife. You are not going to do Lynn any good if you get fully involved with a growing pc, she needs your strong in every way. The daily treatments should be 30 mins or less, again, plan them at the most optimal time to be around to help her.

If you were at .1 to .15 range, might suggest you gamble 3-6 months and wait, but you are already at the threshold that most sensible radiation oncologist look for.

Taking care of this set back wont take that much away from your time with your wife, and you will put yourself in a better position to help her in the future.

Just a hard opinion from a real friend. I am with you, sailor, either way.

David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out  38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 4045
   Posted 11/11/2009 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   

Sonny, I am so sorry to hear of the problems that you and your wife are having.  I echo David in hoping that you will find a way and the strength to deal with your PCa issues while also helping your wife.  And, I will say a prayer for both of you.


Age 62, Gleason 4 +3 = 7, T1C, PSA 4.2, 2 of 16 cores cancerous, 27cc
Brachytherapy December 9, 2008.  73 Iodine-125 seeds.  Procedure went great, catheter out before I went home, only minor discomfort.  Regular activities resumed, everything continues to function normally as of 9/1/09.  6 month PSA  1.4 and my docs are "delighted"!

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 11/11/2009 7:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sonny,

I am so sorry that your wife is up against another difficult battle and that you both have to face that. I am thinking about you both and hope that you will both keep strong while facing this challenge.


Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 11/11/2009 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sonny sorry to hear about your problems you must always believe that your wife will get better and when she does what help will it be to her if you have missed the window of opportunity with your cancer and she has to watch you suffer Please from a stranger think about trying to find a work around so you can both get treatment and both live a long life together
Age 64 From UK now in Thailand Baby boy born 2/14/2009
First PSA was showing 9.73 on 1/21/09.   on 5/7/09 PSA 9.78  Free PSA 0.83   Free:Total  PSA 0.08 
1/28/09 Biopsy carried out 12 core results show no adenocarcinoma
5/15/0924 Core biopsy results Gleason'S Grade 3+2=5
Involving approx 30% of one out of 12 cores on each side no perineural or angiolymphatic invation identified
One side PIN High Grade Bone scan clear 
Open surgery 7/27/09
Prostate Gland weighting 34 grms lost one nerve bundle
Gleason upgraded to 3+3 Tumour not close to prostatic capsule Seminal Vesicles not involved by Tumour 6 Lymph Nodes negative for Malignant cells
First PSA Nov 2009 was 0.06 Continence 99% occasional stress dribbles no ED from first day after catheter removed

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4818
   Posted 11/11/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 11/11/2009 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   


As a minister in my own battle with PCa, I have experienced the power of prayers. Rest assured you and your wife will be in my prayers, and if you don't object, I will share with some of the best prayer partners I know.

On the PCa side, I agree with David from SC. I went from surgery to radiation in seven weeks. I was able to drive myself to the treatments and still put in a full day's work. Your wife needs you, but she needs you as well as possible. Your stats indicate now is the best time for you to take the next step of radiation. I'm not sure why some have such burdens as you, fighting cancer for both you and your wife. But I would suggest you not postpone your own treatments.

Bless you, my brother, and your wife, family and loved ones

Bill in San Diego

Age 61 (59 @ Dx) PSA 4.4

Biopsy 5/15/08 Gleason (3+3=6)

Bone scan and pelvic CT: clear

HT - 2 mo Casodex, 3 mo Trelstar

RRP Surgery 9/15/08

Post-OP Gleason 3+4=7, Stage pT2c pN0 MX

SV, perineural margin, 18 lymph nodes, bladder neck: all carcinoma free

Perineural invasion & Distal Margin: Carcinoma present

IMRT adjuvant radiation (35 Treatments) Ended 1/27/09

PSA Tests: (10/13/08) (3/13/09) (7/10/09): all <0.1

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 460
   Posted 11/11/2009 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry to hear about your wife's illness and will keep you both in our prayers.  I also agree with David and our other brothers that you should not let this keep you from getting your treatments you need to be there for her down the line.  Stay positive you both will survive this journey.  Since your PSA did not go to undectable the chance that it is a local recurrance is very good and radiation could give you your cure. 
Age 69
DX 8/13/08 , PSA 4.0, Biopsy 14 samples 1 positive 12% of sample,
Gleason Score 4+4 =8  Bone scan and MRI negative
Da Vince surgery on Oct 17, 08 Florida Hospital Dr Vipul Patel
Post Gleason report  4+4 = 8 Lymph nodes on both sides negative
margins Negative  Stage II (pt2a) 
Cath out on October 29th left in longer due to small leak.
11/19/08 dry no more pads
12/2/08 first PSA <0.1
 3/6/09 6 Month PSA 0.0
6/3/09 9 month  PSA 0.1
7/14/09  PSA still 0.1
10/15/09 PSA 0.3
10/26/09 surgery to remove 3 clips in bladder neck that formed stones and caused burning and pressure for 9 months.  Finally relief but may now be looking at radation.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1804
   Posted 11/11/2009 8:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, you and your wife will definitely be on my prayer list.

I am so very sorry about your recent turn of events. As I told David (Purgatory) a while back, your situation (like his) reminds me of a quote that's been attributed to Mother Theresa. Something along the lines of "I know that God never gives me a cross heavier than I can bear but sometimes I wish He didn't have so much confidence in me."

Hang in there, can sure many of us will be hoping and praying for the best for both of you.
Husband diagnosed in 2/2008 at age 57 with stage T1c. Robotic surgery performed 3/2008. Stage upgraded to T3a (single small EPE in posterior left). Perineural tumor infiltration present. Apex margin, bladder neck and SV negative. Final Gleason 3+4 SA. PSA: 0.0 til July 2009. August 2009 PSA was 0.1, in September it was 0.3 Met with radiation oncologist, CT scan and bone scan clean. Third PSA on October 16 - PSA BACK TO UNDETECTABLE! Next PSA scheduled for early December. No radiation treatment at this time!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 2210
   Posted 11/11/2009 8:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear of this latest setback. Monday I went to a veterans day service at the Middle School my grandaughter attends and it was well done and I was impressed with the school and the kids. But being in a war and having been wounded were a piece of cake compared to the hardest thing that I ever dealth with, and that was my wife's battle with breast cancer 15-16 years ago. I didnt have control of the outcome and my emotions were all over the map. Not sure how I would have done if I had also been dealing with PCa. But here we are 15 years later, still in love and she is very supportive and we will get thru all of this. My hope is the same for the two of you, and at the end of the day the bond between you and your wife will be even stronger. Be blessed my friend.
Dx with PCA 12/08 2 out of 12 cores positive
59 yo when diagnosed
Robotic surgery 5/09 Atlanta, Ga
Catheter out after 10 days
Gleason upgraded to 3+5, volume less than 10%
Margins not involved
2 pads per day, 1 depends but getting better,
8/5 1 depend at night only
 started ED tx 7/17, slow go
Great family

English Alf
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2208
   Posted 11/11/2009 9:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Thinking of you and your wife at this difficult time for both of you
With my Best Wishes from Holland

Age at Dx 48         No Family history  of Prostate Cancer

Married 25 years, and I cannot thank my wife enough for her support.

April 2009: PSA 8.6  DRE: negative. Tumour in 2 out of 12 cores. Gleason 3+3.

RALP (nerve-sparing) at AVL-NKI Hospital Amsterdam on 29th July 2009. Stay 1 night.

Partial erections on 1st and 2nd Aug 2009, Catheter out on 6th Aug 2009. 

Dry at night, but wearing pads 24/7

Post-op Gleason 3+4. Tumour mainly in left near neck of bladder.

Left Seminal Vesicle invaded, (=T3b!)

no perineraul invasion, no vascular invasion. clear margins,

Erection 100% on 15th Aug 2009   Stopped wearing pads on 21st Sept 2009

Pre-op style intercourse on 24th Oct 2009 !! No use of tablets, jabs, VED etc.


Worried Guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 3729
   Posted 11/11/2009 9:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm sure you've heard this quote many times before:
"In the event of the loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. If you are traveling with small children or someone else who needs assistance, put on your own oxygen mask first, then help those sitting next to you."
There is still time for you to put on your own oxygen mask. Please don't let the window slip by.
I hope to see both of you in Feb.

James C.
Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 11/11/2009 9:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, as usual you have gotten good, straight on advice. You CAN do your own treatment and be there to help you wife. It isn't an either/or, it's a together we will both do it and win. AAs per you request, my prayers will be with you and I will pass your request along to our prayer group. Know that many people, all across the world, will now be holding you and your wife in their hearts and thoughts.
James C. Age 62
Co-Moderator- Prostate Cancer Forum
4/07 PSA 7.6, referred to Urologist, recheck 6.7
7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS 3/3=6
9/07 Nerve sparing open RRP 110gms.- Path Report: GS 3+3=6 Stg. pT2c, 110gms, margins clear
24 mts: PSA's: .04 each test since surgery, Bimix .3ml PRN or Trimix .15ml PRN

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 384
   Posted 11/11/2009 10:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, Keep the faith and you can make it through this latest battle. A secretary here at the office is fighing breast cancer with Chemo and her husband is also undergoing Chemo for a neck/lymph gland cancer that he is fighting. Their Dr. told them it's a first for him to have a husband/wife under going chemo at the same time.

Blessings to you and your wife.

Age 55 / age at diagnosis 54, PSA 5.1
Robotic surgery 08/12/09 at Vanderbilt, Nashville TN. 
Final Path report:
20% of the prostate Invovled
Tumor graded at T2C
Overall Gleason 3+4 (7)
Lymph Glands Clear, Positive Margin Noted in Right Apex
First post Surgery PSA - 0

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 284
   Posted 11/11/2009 12:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, glad your wife has you to help her through this dip and her to do the same for you. You're a great team and I'm putting my money on the both of you!

Our best,
Diagnosed 8/2008 Pre-op psa 4.2, Age 60 at dx
7 of 12 biopsies positive 3+3
DaVinci LRP 11/08
Post Op pathology clear margins, confined to prostate, absent extraprostatic extension, vascular or perineural. Gleason 3+4=7, 5-10% of 4 and location in right mid-gland.
3 month psa .1 2/09, 6 month .1 5/09, 9 month .2 8/09
broke ankle bones 6/09
9/21/09 Bone scan clear, psa still .2
next psa and chest xray 11/13/09

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 11/11/2009 1:12 PM (GMT -6)   
You may want to talk to your doctors about using hormone therapy as a way of safely delaying more aggressive action.

For you and you wife I will pray for both cure, which is God's gift to the body, and for healing, which is God's gift to the spirit.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads
6 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 744
   Posted 11/11/2009 3:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, I'm sorry to hear about your wife's battle with Multiple Myeloma. Someone in my family had Multiple Myeloma also. Sure isn't an easy battle. I believe with Multiple Myeloma, they also can do stem cell therapy...All the best!

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/11/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I've got you covered on the Buddhist front.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 11/11/2009 4:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I respect other's beliefs. I believe in my God and I pray to Him in His Son's name to be with you and yours. Wes

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2691
   Posted 11/11/2009 4:43 PM (GMT -6)   

If PC is a kick in the N*ts, this must surely be a kick in the gut. I'm sure you feel like the wind is knocked out of you.

Take some deep breaths my friend, and relax a little. ( I know this isn't an easy thing to do ) I think the guys are giving you solid advice about trying to keep the radiation going. Soemhow I think you will find a way to wrk it out.

You guys are on the top of my prayer list.

Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED.  Trimix injections

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 784
   Posted 11/11/2009 6:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Sonny, please don't wait, things could get worse with your Pca, I feel for you, as my wife battled a blood condition called Immune Thrombocytopaenic Purpura, (ITP) which was destroying her platelets and immune system, nearly lost her 3 times, but she has been in remission now for three years.

I am so sorry to see you both in this situation, and hope her medical team can work out an answer.

Best Regards, Mal.
age 67 PSA 5.8 DRE slightly firm Rt
Biopsy 2nd July 07 5 out of 12 positive
Gleason 3+4=7 right side tumour adenocarcinoma stage T2a
RP on 30th July,

Post op Pathology, tumour stage T3a 4+3=7, microcsopic evidence of capsular penetration, seminal vessels, bladder neck,are free of tumour, lymph nodes clear, no evidence of metastatic malignancy, tumour does not extend to the apical margins.

Post op PSA 0.5 26th Sept.
PSA 23rd Oct.0.5 seeing Radiation Onocologist 31st Oct.
Started radiation treatment on 5th Dec, to continue until 24 Jan. 08.
Finished treatment, next PSA on 30th April.
PSA 30th April 0.4
PSA 30th July 0.5
PSA 27th Oct 0.4 (I am now 68)
PSA 11th March 09 0.5
PSA 3rd August 09 0.6
next PSA January 2010 (I am now 69)

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