I appreciate you sincere care and offer to help. I wish all of us here at HW lived close enough to help one another at times in real life.
My wife is wanting to take time off work to help me get through the last 2 weeks, but I hate for her to use up her PTO hours to drive me 13 miles each way. It's not the driving there and back that wears me out. It's the radiation.
My techs saw the difference in my face today, and wanted to know if I needed any pain meds. I thanked them, told them I had some at home, plus can't take them and drive.
They did say, that with RT, or SRT in this case, the toxcity of radiation poison not only builds up through the 5 treatments during the week ,but builds up with each passing week. They said it was evident that my body was very sensitive to it, some of us, some of us aren't. I knew this would be a rough path for me in particular, one that I had hoped and prayed I wouldn't have to travel for the second time in my life.
Yes, I am nearing the end, but it will still be a long 10 treatments in my book. When I left there, took both women to help me up again, felt kind of stunned and dazed to be honest. Searing pain in my penis and rectum, entire abdomen was sore and swollen feeling, very sensitive to the touch, and of course ,the SP catheter tube exit felt like it was on fire. By the time I changed back into my street clothes and started walking away, was so nasueated that for the first time, thought I was going to hurl.
This SRT just has to work, that is what I keep convincing myself, would hate to think all this additional pain and suffering was ultimately in vain. The jury is still way out on these results.
The support here is great. And like I have told anyone that will listen, for whatever little bit of good I do here for others, especially our newly dx friends, I still take more from here than I can possibly give.
I know my current story isn't a pleasant or particually happy segment, but I feel duty bound to give an honest first hand account of how SRT came about for me so soon, and what that journey is like.
For the 90% of men that breeze through RT and SRT, I am not jealous, I am genuinely happy for them.
David in SC
Ps Sometimes one doesn't know how much of a fighter they are, until they are in the ropes. Right now, I honestly feel that my brain and self determination is way stronger than my weakening body is at this point. If I were to listen to the pains of the flesh right now, I would drop out of SRT and call it quits.
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place