I was active on this board a few years ago, and have recently started following again (I got on the other day to record my last GOOD check up).
Just remember, it ain't over 'til its over. PCa is no death sentence, bad pathology isn't either. Neither are positive margins, PSA recurrence after surgery, or long-term PSA recurrence after all local treatment is exhausted. THere are many, many people who've had all these things and are still walking around. I look at cancer as a cosmic crap shoot. THere are pople who have initally good prognosis that don't fare well, and there are people with pretty bad initial numbers that are doing just fine (I'm in that category). THere are people like Mike Milken who were told they'd be dead in 2 years that are alive and well 24 years later. You just don't know.
I think its important to understand what various bad outcomes your hubby might face. Being mentally prepared to face bad news is important. Face time with our doctors is a precious commodity, and you'd rather use this time asking questions and seeking guidance that sobbing and saying "oh, My God", over and over (been there...done THAT!)
Being realistic is good, but being positive is better. Its so easy to drive yourself nuts with all this stuff (been there, done THAT, too!)
Fortunately, you're at the right place on this forum to keep yourself centerd....GOOD LUCK!
Age 49 - pre-surgery PSA 39 (at age 45)
Open Radical Prostatectomy 6/9/2006
Pathological Stage T3a, Positive Surgical Margin
PSA rose to .24 in November of 2006
6 month hormone therapy initiated December 1. 2006
36 sessions of IMRT Ended Feb 1, 2007
PSA as of May 25, 2007 undetectable
PSA as of November 29, 2007 undetectable
PSA as of May 14, 2008 undetectable
PSA as of November 25, 2008 undetectable
PSA as of May 22, 2009 undetectable