keep positive? or being real

well put qjenxu,
That is exactly what i hope my surgeon did on Sept 17th.
My first psa test is Dec 11th and then I will know for sure. Good luck, Wes

Jennifer --- it would be wrong, and foolish, to tell you not to worry. But, your priorities for your surgeon are pretty much exactly the same ones I gave my surgeon and we agreed on. Going in they said I had a 90% plus chance of never having cancer bother me again. Coming out they still say the same thing. Yes, there is the ten percent, but you have to focus on the 90%. You know about the PCa, so that's what you're worried about. Put it into perspective though. We all face risks as along as we're alive, be it H1N1 flu, heart attacks, or being hit by a bus.

You're husband is going into a lottery with a fist full of winning tickets. He's already a winner. Unlike thousands and thousands of other men out there, he knows he has PCa and is about to be treated and very likely cured. Celebrate!

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

Jennifer,

I wondered where you went. Haven't seen your posts for a while.

You are going to one of the best doctors in this part of the country, and one of the top hospitals in the world.

The nomograms that predict success rates for cancer cures, are in your favor. As high as 90 % of men are treated successfully.

It's ok to be a little nervous, but really, you have a lot of factors with early detection, good doctors, good hospitals, and lots of options for a long and happy life together.

Be sure and smile around your husband. He is one having some nit so nice things done to his body next week.

Good luck !

Jennifer, glad you came back to keep us informed. I know exactly what you are feeling as the wife of a PCa patient. There is simply no way to know exactly what your husband's situation is until that surgical pathology report comes in.

I know that reading some of the stories is very scary ... but, realistically, the statistics are greatly in your husband's favor. If you look at the statistics, roughly 30% of men who have surgery need follow-up treatment whether it be adjuvant or salvage. That means that 7 out of 10 men are doing just fine. When you think about it, that may be the best odds you can get with any type of cancer.

I know it is far easier said than done to tell you not to worry. What you are going through is perfectly normal, and I suspect that the waiting and wondering is harder on the partner than on the patient. My husband wasn't worried - and still isn't - but there is rarely a day that goes by when I don't worry about his next PSA test. But, worrying gets us no where and accomplishes nothing.

Right now, focus on getting your husband and yourself through the surgery and recuperation. The future will take care of itself.

Sonny and Sheldon have given you excellent advice. Try, please, not to worry about what might be as hard as this might be.

Anytime you feel the need to vent, come back ... we're all here for you and your husband. And, many of us will continue to pray this his surgery is a blazing success, and that his life is filled with those little donuts (zeros)!

Jennifer,

I was active on this board a few years ago, and have recently started following again (I got on the other day to record my last GOOD check up).

Just remember, it ain't over 'til its over. PCa is no death sentence, bad pathology isn't either. Neither are positive margins, PSA recurrence after surgery, or long-term PSA recurrence after all local treatment is exhausted. THere are many, many people who've had all these things and are still walking around. I look at cancer as a cosmic crap shoot. THere are pople who have initally good prognosis that don't fare well, and there are people with pretty bad initial numbers that are doing just fine (I'm in that category). THere are people like Mike Milken who were told they'd be dead in 2 years that are alive and well 24 years later. You just don't know.

I think its important to understand what various bad outcomes your hubby might face. Being mentally prepared to face bad news is important. Face time with our doctors is a precious commodity, and you'd rather use this time asking questions and seeking guidance that sobbing and saying "oh, My God", over and over (been there...done THAT!)

Being realistic is good, but being positive is better. Its so easy to drive yourself nuts with all this stuff (been there, done THAT, too!)

Fortunately, you're at the right place on this forum to keep yourself centerd....GOOD LUCK!

Thanks so much for everyone ‘s comfort and encouragements. By reading your comments again and again, I feel lot stronger now.

I didn’t go away from this site these days and never will, because you guys/gals are the best! I was trying to finish up my work before I take one week off from work next week. That means less goof off time during the work. I read your posts every day but haven’t have time or mood to post anything.

Well, last Wednesday afternoon I got a call from hospital saying they haven’t receive the biopsy slides yet that they couldn’t do the surgery if they don’t have it. It was totally due to miscommunications between lab A labB and hospital. After a heart attack kind of shock, I pulled each lab medical records staff together managed re-request and finally sent slides out. By Friday afternoon, being told nothing canceled next week. Learned lesson here: never trust those people, do hundreds of follow up if something is really important.

Well, I kind of having those fear feelings for a while just you guys said it is perfectly normal. I didn’t say anything here because I don’t want add negative post here but last night, I was truly need your shoulders and you guys/gals again, gave me the support as always; now I can face my husband with reloaded confidence and strongness.

Today, I told my husband that we should have a celebration for your up-coming surgery by empty your prostate well (learned from here ). He looked at me thought I was crazy, saying you don’t celebrate surgery or celebrate give up the prostate. I answered of course it is celebration, because you will be much healthier and we are formally on the path of reaching success. He was very much agreed.


Thanks my dear brothers and sisters for your wonderful heart, soul, and your strong mind. Once again, I regained myself from your words.

I will keep you posted. Monday is the pre-op. Tuesday is the surgery.

Your Jennifer

Way to go Jennifer, I think you sound very together about the whole situation. Will be ever so glad when you tell us that your husband is safely on the other side of surgery, on the recovery side.

Keep your hope, keep your faith.

David in SC

Jennifer,

It is so great to see that SMILE back on your face. I am so glad that things are moving along for you and your husband.

However, as much as we are so glad to see you here, don't you have another job to be doing. It can take a while to empty a prostate. Besides, tell your husband it's the last time you get to argue over who sleeps on the wet spot. LOL

We are all sending you our love and support. We look forward to the good news that we know awaits us after the surgery. Please find the time to let us know, don't leave us hanging here.

Bless you and your husband,

Sonny

Jennifer, when I read this: "I answered of course it is celebration, because you will be much healthier and we are formally on the path of reaching success. He was very much agreed." I grinned from ear to ear.

Any sane, sensible, rational, assessment has to come to the conclusion that Tuesday is a banner day for you and your husband (John, if memory serves.) Tuesday morning he wakes up with PCa and a couple of hours later, bingo, chances are excellent PCa is history.

I too will be anxiously awaiting news on Tuesday.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless