Posted 11/21/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -6)
Hello and welcome, Loudie.
Your guy just had one of the more complext surgeries there are. Just 4 weeks ago. Pain is a very personal and subjective thing, regardless of open or robotic surgeries. As far as pain meds go, there is a good spectrum of choices, if what his doctor gave doesn't seem to help, get your doctor to script something different. Post surgery, I had the best luck with Loratab 7.5. I was on the 10's before, but they didnt seem to work as well as the 7.5. Any of those types of pain pills are very constipating, so to compensate, I would take 2 OTC stool softeners each night, and it did a pretty good job of balancing out things.
When you get the chance, go to the Control Panel here at the top, and set up some basic info on your guy. It would help us understand his journey so far.
As far as ED, way, way too soon to be thinking or worrying about that part. There will be time ahead for that too. As a group, we range the whole spectrum: from guys that have no ED from day 1, to guys that still need help 2 years later. Most are somewhere in between.
The most important thing: is finding out that his cancer is gone. Never lose sight of that. Most men and their wives/girlfriends would agree, that they would rather deal with the frustration of some incontinence and/or ED and be alive free of their cancer. The alternative to that thinking sucks, I think you would agree.
In a good, lasting ,loving relationship, we all realized, male and female, that our intimacy and level of love is not dictated by whether the man can or can't have an errection, etc. True love spans those problems, and there are always alternatives, great time in life to expand one's imgagination a bit, and be willing to try new dimensions.
Your guy has been through a hell of a lot on the inside, so some anger, frustration, and even depression can seep out, which is normal and to be expected. But he needs to understand, that you have been through a lot too, and he needs to think of how all of this effects you. Together, you too can come together and beat this this thing.
Hope we can help you here. THis is the best of the best on the web for patient to patient care. We are here for the both of you.
David in South Carolina