Larry, I have heard your voice all along this rugged path, and it has helped, and I appreciate your care and concern. We need each other here at HW.
I did nothing special with this SRT. It was either agree to it, or wait and let the PC come back and get me. At 57, with a beautiful wife of almost 36 years, 3 great kids, and 2 grand kids, I was not about
to give in or give up.
The radiation for me was a big deal to consent. i don't think some here understand fully, but what i went through in the past soured me completely on any type of radiation. It was a painful traumatic event for me back then, so when I knew my PC was back, I was mentally devestated. My radiation oncologist and my uro/surgeon knew that I was 100% against doing the the SRT.
But I had to look beyond my fears and apprehensions, look deep inside. I don't know when I will die, or how, I know that I could still die in a car wreck next time I leave the house, or have a massive heart attack, but we can't live thinking that way.
I feel I still have some good years left to me, got almost 30 years in the world of accounting, finance, and IT, somewhere, someone will want to hire a guy with my experience and reputation. I am not through with my creative side. I still have other books in my head waiting for me to write and get published. Really getting into the film making genre, still hoping to make a mark in the world that way.
And then when I look at my family, they love and need me, at least for as long as I am allowed to be here.
So saying all this, I had to bite the bullet, I had to do the SRT, and despite wanting to give up when it got hard, I suffered on with the pains and fears (and trust me, I am no superman, I don't play the macho man game, I am very sensitive to meds, treatments, and don't have a natural high pain tolerance) and just kept on keeping on, day by day, week by week. Determined, that I will not give up of my own free will to prostate cancer. If it ever takes me out for good, it will only because it beat me into the ground and there was nothing left I could do.
That is the message I want to leave about
the experience I just went through. We have brothers here that have suffered all kinds of terrible setback and painful events. I feel and emphathize with each and every one. I know too, that their loved ones suffering too, watching their dads, their husbands, their lovers, etc as they endure what they endure.
We need to stick together. The depth and degree of true care at HW among us is special and unique. It's real to me, we have a lot of people that really care. There is strength in numbers, and we need to be as one, to help each and every brother through the twists and turns of prostate cancer. Excuse my French, but PC is a true ******, and I hate it for what it is and what it does to us, but we can fight it together, learn from one another, help one another, encourage one another, and claim victory when we can. That's what it is all about
Peace be to you,
David in SC
57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.33rd Biopsy
: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3Open RP:
11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09Path Rpt
: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence: 1 Month ED: Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys cath #8 33 days, 11/2- SP Cath #9 in place