Your feelings sound about right to me. My day of diagnosis was a grim one for sure, and then I ran through the emotional gammut. They all made their appearances; fear, dispair, anger, frustraton, discontent, fear, sadness, melancholy... Oh? Did I mention fear? Anyway, the answer for me was to study the topic, and to then take action to the extent possible, excluding immediate radical medical intervention. Two years later, I am in the best shape ever in my adult life. I am have a wiry physique, well toned from the practice of macrobiotics and Yoga. After some search, I found a rather eminent and published Urologist who follows me for PCa. So far so good.
The consideration of Prostte Cancer is part of my life, but there is so much more. It preccupied me at first, and visits back with a round of paranoia, now and then. Ultimately, that's probably healthy thing, reminding me to continue to do everything in my power to improve my lot.
All best on your journey.