John, yeah, I hear you, and trust me, I believe that all of us here feel the same way about the same things, but perhaps at different times.
My surgery was 13 months ago, and I am still with complications, still on another catheter, my 10th in all. When I had my surgery, I thought, this is it, the right thing to do, get rid of this cancer, heal up, move on. PC can have a mind of its own.
Sorry you feel the way you do, but thankful you decided to come back here again. You are at a very young age to be dealing with all you have been dealing with.
Depression usually comes in small steps, and if one is not careful (speaking first hand knowledge here), it can take you over. If you need to talk to your dr. about that, then by all means, even my GP is great on that subject.
With the set back I have had and still have going on in the past year, I have gotten slack (like Billy said above), I tell myself now, that as soon as I can be rid of this catheter, I want to start fresh, to get back into serious walking, to cut back on my beloved sweets, to start feeling like a human being again, instead of a patient constantly. I want 2010 to be the good year that I thought 2009 was suppose to be.
We are all here for you, you can vent ,you can talk about anything you want anytime you want, we will listen, and share with you.
You are not alone with your feelings.
Please stay in touch, and we can help each other.
David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence: 1 Month ED: Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - began IMRT SRT - 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 in 35 days, 12/7/9 - Cath #10 in place