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Hitting the ED wall

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Prostate Cancer
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henry5
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2008
Posts : 24
Posted 12/14/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -8)

Hi All,

At 46 its been almost eighteen months since surgery (nerve sparing). Still clear!

After using trimax (yep a very small dose does work!!) for a while, and getting tired of it, Cialis etc. I've simply given up.

Havent felt this low before.

Was very positive after surgery, cancer gone. PSA excellent. Really fit.

Also, let the exercise go, put on weight, poor pelvic floor routine...boy does that all come back to bite you!!! Stream slowed down, peeing too often. Missing the bowl.

Anyone been here before?

John

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BillyMac
Veteran Member
Joined : Feb 2008
Posts : 1858
Posted 12/14/2009 2:58 PM (GMT -8)
Gee Henry you're an infrequent visitor. Welcome back. Much the same boat here I'm afraid. Things going well, start to relax, the pelvic floor exercises ease up, general exercise eases off and then the weight creeps back on. I have the same slowing down and increase in frequency..........I put it down to becoming slack all over. After the Christmas -New Year break I'll really have to shape up.
All the best and continued zeros,
Bill
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goodlife
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2009
Posts : 2692
Posted 12/14/2009 4:51 PM (GMT -8)
Not sure what order to put your issues in :

Sex is a hassle, no exercise, weight gain, depression

No exercise, weight gain, sex is a hassle, depression

Depression, no exercise, weight gain, sex is a hassle

Alll of your issues are common to PC. It is important ( in my opinion ) to put it in proper perspective. Depression is a very common thing for men who have had their manhood assaulted, their mortality questioned, and have wet pants besides. If depression is the leading cause, then seeking out professional help is the answer. Once you get that under control, the rest of the things will fall in line, as you begin to feel good about yourself.

If the added weight, or sex is the primary issue, those also can be corrected by seeking different kinds of professional help. There are personal trainers, health clubs, and others to give you assistance in the exercsie/weight gain area. There are professional sex counselors, who can help you and your partner in that area.

Lastly, there is Healing Well. I doubt that you can post anything here that several men have not dealt with already. I think you will find a bunch of guys who have had to deal with all of the above issues, and they are still in various stages of solving them. You are not alone in this fight.

Thanks for posting, and keep in touch. Talking is good for all of us.

Goodlife
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Worried Guy
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2009
Posts : 3790
Posted 12/14/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -8)
Henry,
Forgive my impetuousness for I am but an upstart while you are grizzled veteran. But I have found my pea/pee gravel test range in the back yard to be quite invigorating. I get a perverse pleasure each morning by seeing how far I can shoot. (And I live in Rochester where there is some snow on the ground.) There is something about cold air, the freedom to spray at will and going for the distance that brings out primal urges hidden deep inside us Y chromosome holders. Good thing there are no trees (or neighbors around.)
I won't bore you with the calculations but I used distance to help improve my control. I'm still incontinent and have ED but I do get a buzz when I set a new record. A simple pleasure.
One 40 pound bag of pea gravel from Lowe's can work wonders. You'll get exercise, save water, improve your control, and it sure is fun.

Stick around. You will find all kinds of advice from caring guys who have been through the same dark period you are passing through now. It is temporary and holidays seem to bring it out in spades. Know that it will get better.

Jeff
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goodlife
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2009
Posts : 2692
Posted 12/14/2009 6:08 PM (GMT -8)
Gotta admit, I almost strained my bladder muscles when I tried to outdo Jeff's golf tee markers on his pee gravel range.
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geezer99
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2009
Posts : 990
Posted 12/14/2009 7:57 PM (GMT -8)
First to attend to Henry's question. You might want to search this site for those with experience with penile implants. When I first heard about them I was completely turned off, but good reports from some of the brothers have shifted my thoughts.

Second, with all due respect to brother Jeff, let me remind you that all of his pee gravel results are questionable because he has failed to conform to the PGA (pee gravel association) rules for course layout. Just as in base ball, the P -ers mound is to be elevated ten inches above the P -ers target. This allows the contestant to get a good wind-up and put some momentum behind his P -itch
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Purgatory
Elite Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 25448
Posted 12/14/2009 9:59 PM (GMT -8)
John, yeah, I hear you, and trust me, I believe that all of us here feel the same way about the same things, but perhaps at different times.
My surgery was 13 months ago, and I am still with complications, still on another catheter, my 10th in all. When I had my surgery, I thought, this is it, the right thing to do, get rid of this cancer, heal up, move on. PC can have a mind of its own.

Sorry you feel the way you do, but thankful you decided to come back here again. You are at a very young age to be dealing with all you have been dealing with.

Depression usually comes in small steps, and if one is not careful (speaking first hand knowledge here), it can take you over. If you need to talk to your dr. about that, then by all means, even my GP is great on that subject.

With the set back I have had and still have going on in the past year, I have gotten slack (like Billy said above), I tell myself now, that as soon as I can be rid of this catheter, I want to start fresh, to get back into serious walking, to cut back on my beloved sweets, to start feeling like a human being again, instead of a patient constantly. I want 2010 to be the good year that I thought 2009 was suppose to be.

We are all here for you, you can vent ,you can talk about anything you want anytime you want, we will listen, and share with you.
You are not alone with your feelings.

Please stay in touch, and we can help each other.

David in SC
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jacknoon
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2009
Posts : 27
Posted 12/15/2009 12:35 AM (GMT -8)
....Oh Yes ...The Black Dog......I went for trip around the world 3 months after my prostatectomy...Went to all the more interesting countries like Egypt,Russia...Also drove route 66 before returning home to Australia....This took my mind off the whole drama....I also used meditation to escape....Was tempted to get some jolly pills,but took the other path and tried to keep my mind off it all.....The bottom line is that you are not as good as you were...You have just aged a bit quicker in that department.....Its the glitch on your life mission......You come around when this fact is accepted...Whatever you have now and whatever you get back in the future is a bonus.....I still have negative days...But on the whole I have accepted it all....and am now regaining a great sex life...In some ways better than before....
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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 12/15/2009 10:15 AM (GMT -8)

John,

Yes!!

You appear to have reached a degree of depression further then I did but you are a lot younger and if I was your age going through the ED stage I would probably be at the same place.  As you were I was really flying high after the surgery knowing my cancer was gone and probably would not return and when I stopped leaking it just seemed the recovery was going great.  Then the ED doldrums hit.  The pump was humilating, uncomfortable and I just could not see it as the answer.  The ED drugs did not even give me a single boost.  The injections worked and are the only thing that has kept some degree of intimacy going between my wife and I but our sex life before PCa was never a planned event and the quality of the spontaneity was great.  That is why two months ago I decided to have a penile implant.  I am actually having that done this coming Thursday.  There are risks and I know them and accept them but without the penile implant I can see our sex life slowly evolving into nothing and I am just not going to surrender to it.  When I discussed with my surgeon before the surgery the treatment of ED if I had it afterwards he laid out the process.  Pump, drugs, injections and implant.  He said that in most of the cases his clinic has handled, which in the hundreds if not thousands, most men using injections eventually either move to implant or just taper off until there is no sex.  If you have not already you should investigate implants.  You can search the web and find personal testimony from men and wives that have gone with the implant.  The implant has evolved a lot.  I will be having the AMS 700 LGX implanted.  This implant is a three piece device.  It also provides for both length and girth improvement over previous implants. 

The best way to kick the depression is to take control of the situation instead of letting it control your life. 

Wishing you the best and praying for you.

Tamu

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Piano
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2008
Posts : 847
Posted 12/15/2009 1:31 PM (GMT -8)
Tamu, good luck for Thursday -- I hope it all works out well for you.
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henry5
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2008
Posts : 24
Posted 12/15/2009 1:34 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks guys. :)

Hey Tamu, all the best for Thursday as well.

John
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Purgatory
Elite Member
Joined : Oct 2008
Posts : 25448
Posted 12/15/2009 2:51 PM (GMT -8)
Tamu,

Hope that implant surgery goes well for you. That's a huge step, but when it works for you, probably be all worth it.

David in SC
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