Thank You - from a lurker

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Deacon's Wife
New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/30/2009 8:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Just had to say “Thank You” – I have been lurking for over a year – yes that’s right over a year. I would never have made it through the past year without you guys. My husband was diagnosed with PC in Oct 08 after much prayer, though and education the decision was made that he would have possible nerve sparing surgery on Dec 2 08. Surgery did not go well as his colon was nicked during the removal of his prostate. This led to a 2 week hospital stay. After several trips to the ER and 5 catheters more surgery in April then self catheterize for several months we are getting there. It has been a long hard year! BUT there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t think it is a train this time. He is dry, does not have to wear anything – has had 2 PSA test with less than 0.01 results. Sex is still a challenge but with the help of pills we almost there!
I have taken away so much information from this site that has enabled me to a very active part of his recovery. I had no idea what to expect – my plumbing works a bit different than his. I have seen and helped him with stuff that no wife should ever have to see or do. Kinda like child birth – there are just some things a husband and wife should not share – LOL . My heart broke from him so many times and his determination only clarified all the reasons we have been married all these years. Knowing that we were in it together made us both push harder when the nights were long and the days even longer.
If I told you I would not trade this experience for anything – well that would be a lie! I would trade it for sun filled days at the beach, more days shopping and not knowing all the nurses on a first name bases. Heck I would trade it for most anything that did not involve bodily fluids~
BUT I could not let you guys roll into a New Year with a great big ole THANKS.
I know I need to put all that stuff on my signature – but for now
61 years old
Oct 08 dignosed – PSA was less than 4 but had gone up 1 point since the previous year – due to family history doctor sent him for biopsy
Biopsy – 8/12 positive
Gleeson 4/3
Dec 2 08 Surgery
April More surgery

Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4119
   Posted 12/30/2009 9:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Deacon's Wife, You are very weclome her. Thanks for giving us a look into you life. I do hope then next surgery fixes things up for you guys.

Jeff T
Jeff T Age 57

9/08 PSA 5.4, referred to Urologist
9/08 Biopsy: GS 3/4=7
10/08 Nerve sparing open RRP- Path Report: GS 3+3=7 Stg. pT2c, margins clear
3 mts: PSA .05 undetectable

10th month PSA <0.01
1year psa <0.01
ED- 5 mg Cialis daily, pump daily, going to try MUSE next. Next step injections.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 347
   Posted 12/30/2009 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome, i think there are alot of lurkers. This is a GREAT place to get support and information. Keep us up to date.
age 45
psa 3.09 at time of physical
Biopsy results 12/9
Left side base 3+3=6 21% 2/2 cores positive
Left side mid  3+3=6 100% 2/2 cores positive
Left side apex 3+4=7 88% 2/2 cores positive
Right side - 0/6
Probability of seminal vesicle or lymph node involement below avg. 5.9%
Relative risk of seminal vesicle or lymph node involvement 32.7% decreased risk
CT & Bone scan negative

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1267
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Deacon's wife ---- thanks for saying hello.

Now that you've hung your husband's bodily fluids out of the closet to dry --- so to speak --- I hope you'll keep in touch and let us know how it goes. We all feed off each other here, and your post gives me strength as I know it will others.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Age 67 in Apil '09 at news of 4 of 12 cores positive T2B and Gleason 3 + 3 and 5% to 25% PSA 1.5
Re-read of slides in June said Gleason 3 + 4 same four cores 5% to 15%
June 29 daVinci prostatectomy, Dr. Eric Estey, at Royal Alexandra Hospital Edmonton one night stay
Flew home to Winnipeg on July 3 after 5 nights in Ramada Inn  ---  perfect recovery spot!
Catheter out July 9, so far, so good
Final pathology is 3 + 4 Gleason 7, clear margins, clear nodes, T2C, sugeron says report is "excellent"
First post op PSA Sept 09  less than 0.02
PSA on Oct 23 test again less than 0.02
Oct 1st 09 -- dry at night, during day some stress issues, but better every week. 
Feel free to email me at:    

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2692
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Deacon's Wife,

Thanks so much for sharing. Sometimes my wife wants to know why I am on this forum. There are some days I don't know.

But when people like you share, it makes us feel as tho this is a worthwhile effort.


Good luck to you and your husband. I think most all of us married guys can honestly say we don't know how we would have made it without the help of our partners.

Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic  4/14/09   Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved  pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free  6 week PSA  <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED.  Trimix injections

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 762
   Posted 1/1/2010 5:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Deacon's Wife,
I agree with Goodlife wholeheartedly. You have so much to share which can help others so keep posting when you want to. It is a big leap to take but as you have seen most of the time all runs well, questions are welcome, info is shared, and lives are lived well. This was the first forum I ever posted on - reluctantly at first as my hubby could not access the info himself, but in the end, it has been also a great source of info for me in each and every way. A warm welcome to you and hope things continue to improve for your hubby. Lana
Creed_three (Lana) - with husband "CJ" now aged 52 yrs (49 years at diagnosis).
PSA (2002) 2.1. (2006) 3.5.  1 x 5% core of 12 positive at biopsy. Open Radical Prostatectomy with nerve sparing April 2007 Sydney, Australia. Gleeson 3 + 4 = 7. 2 small multifocal lesions. Contained. Undetectable <.1 PSA since: June 2007-0.01, Oct 2007-0.02, April 2008-0.02: Oct 2008-0.03, Nov, 2008-0.02, April 2009-0.03. Next PSA April 2010.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 1/6/2010 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   


I am also a Deacon's wife.  My prayers are with you all. My husband is still hesitant to become involved in this support group, but it has been such a blessing and source of strenght to me. God bless you all


Mike H
Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 1/6/2010 11:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Deacons Wife,

Your post made me feel like an underachiever. I only lurked for 9 weeks!!! Sorry you and your husband had such a rough go of it but it sounds like you have turned a corner.

My wife and I have experienced a few major life challenges including her breast cancer, and my prostate cancer and we always say the same thing:
"We are experts in a subject we'd prefer to know NOTHING about".

Best of luck to you both. 2010 WILL be a very good year for you. This site is a great place for education and comfort. Welcome.

8/12/09 Diagnosed at 49 years old. DOB. 6/11/60

10/29/09 Surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, NYC
11/25/09 Catheter Out (4 weeks)
99% continent the day the catheter came out
Wore the pads for 2 weeks to be safe but had minor drips at most.
12/16/09 First PSA (7 weeks) < .05 Undetectable

2003 Biopsy Negative
7/23/09 Biopsy Positive. 10% cancer in 1 of 12 cores. Gleason 3+3=6.

Post Surgical Pathology:
Gleason 3+3=6
Tumor confined to prostate
Seminal vesicles not involved
Bladder neck not involved
Surgical margins free of tumor
Lymph nodes not involved

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 655
   Posted 1/7/2010 8:09 AM (GMT -6)   

Greetings, Deacon's Wife.  I am very grateful to another Deacon's wife - my own - who has taken very good care of me over the past two years.  This forum has been a great place for me over the past couple of years and we trust it will continue to be for not only you but for all the other lurkers out there.  Doesn't matter if you post or not - everyone is welcome here and those of us who do post are pleased that we can give back a little of what we have learned through our experiences. 

Look forward to continuing to hear from you from time to time.  David

Diagnosed Dec 2007 during annual routine physical at age 55
PSA doubled from previous year from 1.5 to 3.2
12 biopsies - 2 pos; 2 marginal
Gleason 3+3; upgraded to 4+3 post surgery
RRP 4 Feb 08; both nerves spared
Good pathology - no margins - all encapsulated
Catheter out Feb 13 - pad free Feb 16
PSA every 90 days - ZERO's everytime!
Great wife and family who take very good care of me

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 1/7/2010 2:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Deacon's Wife,
Welcome to the live discussions at HealingWell. I was a short time Lurker here as well, but it is perfectly fine to watch and learn for anyone seeing these posts. First I want to introduce you to my journey:

I am 3 years down the road with this disease but I am very thankful that I have been very lucky to run a string of undetectable PSA's in spite of advanced prostate cancer. There is much to be hopeful for and I have made it my motto to "Stay Positive"

Again, you are most welcome to ask any questions, and I know that you will receive great support here.

Happy New Year to you and of course the Deacon!

Prostate Cancer Forum Co-Moderator

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