On Behalf of a friend..............................

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/30/2009 11:36 PM (GMT -6)   
He isnt used to these forums yet and time is of the essence so i figured i would step in on his behalf so we can get a discussion going. His father was urinating blood so he went to the doctor. Long story short A biopsy of the prostate was immediately ordered. The results of the biopsy were given briefly over the phone and i do not know the specifics. But he has what was described as Late Stage prostate cancer that requires surgery followed by radiation (that is our understanding).

One major thing. His father doesnt know. His English is not strong so they always talk to his son and/or wife about his prognosis. They have a meeting with the doctor on Jan 7. to discuss the future course of action. He has to tell his father, before the meeting with the doctor, that he has prostate cancer. Not really asking for anything specific regarding replies just wanted to tell of his current situation. Amin, my friend, is only 19 years old and knows nothing about prostate cancer. not an easy thing to tell your father. Is late stage an extremely scary word or might it just be the case that surgery is the only way to proceed. No reason to panic as of yet correct????

dont hold back. does the word late stage carry a great deal of significance with it. obviously early stage is what you'd rather hear but that is not the case unfortunately..............

any and all advice would be appreciated. sorry i just kinda rambled on and on. i didnt know where to start or exactly what to say so i just typed away.

thanks in advance for any and all replies.............


Cajun Jeff
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 4119
   Posted 12/30/2009 11:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Sean/amin, Not a lot of info here to be specific. My guess is that your friend's father has advanced Prostate Cancer. If that is the case there are still treatments. How well these treatments will work in anybody's guess. How does you friend tell his father?

I am a kind of direct preson. I got my biopsy results on the phone from my Dr. Your friend's Father knows he had a biopsy. I recomend your friend sit with his Dad and just say it. Biopsy came back positive. We have an appointment to talk to the Dr about what treatments are recomended.

This is just my thoughts. Please keep us posted.

Jeff T
Jeff T Age 57

9/08 PSA 5.4, referred to Urologist
9/08 Biopsy: GS 3/4=7
10/08 Nerve sparing open RRP- Path Report: GS 3+3=7 Stg. pT2c, margins clear
3 mts: PSA .05 undetectable

10th month PSA <0.01
1year psa <0.01
ED- 5 mg Cialis daily, pump daily, going to try MUSE next. Next step injections.

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/31/2009 12:07 AM (GMT -6)   

thanks for the quick reply. yeah thats about all there is to it. just a matter of getting yourself up to the task and being strong enough to tell your father. that is a hard job for a kid. he doesnt want to scare his father to death but as you said he knows he had a biopsy and knows it might be serious. He is obviously nervous about the results even if he doesnt show it around his family. I can understand not wanting to ruin the holiday's for his Dad but he is going to have to be the one to break this news before the Jan 7 meeting. not an easy task. Advanced prostate Cancer... what type of treatments are we talking about. is surgery followed by radiation a possible scenario????

I know its mere speculation at this point and with limited information there is probably no need to go into treatment scenarios. just looking for a little good news here I guess.

this is scary stuff. but educating yourself about something that is completely out of anyones control cannot be a bad thing in my opinion.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 847
   Posted 12/31/2009 3:33 AM (GMT -6)   
"Late stage" is bad, but the fact that the doctors are contemplating surgery is a good sign. For really late stage, where the cancer is known to have escaped the prostate, there is no point in surgery -- the horse has already bolted.

As well as surgery/radiation, there is also hormone treatment. Using that, it is possible to survive for many years with PCa -- so there is still hope.

If you can find out more details about the biopsy results, we could give better advice.
Age 63 at diagnosis, now 64.
No symptoms; PSA 5.7; Gleason 4+5=9; cancer in 4 of 12 cores.
Non-nerve sparing RRP on 7 March 2008.
Two nights in hospital; catheter out after 7 days.
Continent; no pads needed from the get-go.
Pathology showed organ confined and negative margins. Gleason downgraded to 4+4=8.
6-week : <0.05
7-month: <0.05
13-month: 0.07 (start of a trend?)
19-month: 0.09 (maybe)
After a learning curve, Bimix injections (0.2ml) worked well. From 14 months, occasional nocturnal erections. Have "graduated" to just the pump.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 137
   Posted 12/31/2009 3:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Maybe your friend might like it if you sat with him when he talks to his dad?????
70 years old (1939) USA citizen
Prostatic carcinoma dxed June 2009 by PSA (7.0) and then Bx
PSAs yearly since 2001 ranged 1.52 to 7.0
Neg. CT and Bone Scan
4 of 8 biopsies positive (all right side) Gleason Score 3+4=7
Robotic assisted total prostatectomy and node excision July 2009 in Luzern, Switzerland by Dr. A. Mattei in the Kantonsspital
pT2c G3 pN0 (0/14)
Catheter out in 5 days (home in 3 days)
No incontinence
Positional neurpraxia resolved in 5 months.
Potency: beginning tumescence??? at 3 weeks post-op. Still happens at 3 months PO. Nearly usable one month later. At 5 mo. with 100 mg Vitamin V, pretty good.
3month PSA less than 0.01

English Alf
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 2217
   Posted 12/31/2009 4:25 AM (GMT -6)   
My thoughts are with you and your friend and his father as you face such a complicated start to the New Year.

I expect your friend's father may already have an idea about what's going on, so that it may not be impossibly difficult to tell him.

Was it explained to your friends father why he was having the biopsy? Because I would hope that it was. If he was told that the test was to try and find out if he did or did not have cancer then he will have been aware that there are only two answers to that and may already have considered the idea that he is going to get bad news so that when it does get given to him it will merely be unwelcome rather than unexpected. He will also have realised that things cannot have been okay inside him when he started peeing blood, or when doctors started sticking things up his rectum.

I am English and live in Holland, I can understand and speak Dutch well, but I have nevertheless been confronted with several situations over the years where that situation has been made more complex by the language aspect. I can therefore only suggest that you and your friend might also like to try and find someone (perhaps at the hospital) with the combination of medical and language skills to help explain things.

Despite this may I wish you a Happy New Year


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 1858
   Posted 12/31/2009 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
This prostate cancer world is a scary place when you first come into it. But, the more you learn the easier it becomes to deal with it. It is not possible to give an accurate description of what may follow regarding treatment and successes without knowing the details of the biopsy. Don't be hesitant to bring your friend here to ask any questions he may have about PCa and any treatments. He should find it easier to tell his father if he knows a little about the disease and what can and can't be done. The fact they are even contemplating surgery may be a good sign. If his son can post the biopsy results answers may be a little clearer.
1/05 PSA----2.9 3/06-----3.2 3/07-------4.1 5/07------3.9 All negative DREs
Aged 59 when diagnosed
Biopsy 6/07
4 of 10 cores positive for Adenocarcinoma-------bummer!
Core 1 <5%, core 2----50%, core 3----60%, core 4----50%
Biopsy Pathologist's comment:
Gleason 4+3=7 (80% grade 4) Stage T2c
Neither extracapsular nor perineural invasion is identified
CT scan and Bone scan show no evidence of metastases
Da Vinci RP Aug 10th 2007
Post-op pathology:
Positive for perineural invasion and 1 small focal extension
Negative at surgical margins, negative node and negative vesicle involvement
Some 4+4=8 identified ........upgraded to Gleason 8
PSA Oct 07 <0.1 undetectable
PSA Jan 08 <0.1 undetectable
PSA April 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
PSA August 08 <0.001 undetectable (disregarded due to lab "misreporting")
Post-op pathology rechecked by new lab:
Gleason downgraded to 4+3=7
Focal extension comprised of grade 3 cells
PSA September 08 <0.01 (new lab)
PSA February 09 <0.01
PSA August 09 (2 year mark), <0.01
PSA December 09 <0.01

My Journey: www.yananow.net/Mentors/BillM2.htm

Elite Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25393
   Posted 12/31/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Just not enough info here to make any kind of meaningful answer. On the surface, if they are talking about doing surgery and radiation, then it might not be fully advanced prostate cancer. They don't usually advocate surgery if they feel the cancer has escaped the prostate gland itself. And if it were fully advanced, it would be showing spread elsewhere where surgery would do no good.

Perhaps a followup here when more information is available would help both you and us in understanding the situation.

Please keep us posted, and good luck

david in sc
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence:  1 Month     ED:  Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 in place

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 12/31/2009 10:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow -- having to take care of your father is a tough task for a 19 year old. He is lucky to have you to help. As others have said, the fact that the doctors want to do surgery and radiation is a good sign -- they are still thinking in terms of a cure.

As far as telling his father -- of course the dad knows and worries so keeping him in the dark is no kindness. On the other hand many people hear cancer and think death, which in the case of PC is very frequently NOT the case. Is there an older family friend or relative who the son could enlist to help break the news? Having an older person there might make it easier for the father to hear what was said.

In any case, we are here to help -- any information that you can add will let us be more specific. Note that at the very top if the topics list there is a link to many good sources of information about PC
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads
6 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day

Jim B
Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 12/31/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I really have to agree with everyone who has pointed out that having the surgical option is good. The doctors would not recommend that if the cancer has already spread beyond the prostate. In that case other options would be offered. I also agree that it would be beneficial to check with the hospital to see if there are any language assistance options available. The hospital may be able to provide someone who not only knows the language but has experience in dealing with these matters. I wish your 19 year old friend and his father good luck and consider him lucky to have a friend such as you who is willing to seek some answers for both of them.
Dx age 48 PSA 11.58
Biopsy Nov 04
4 of 6 specimens positive
gleason 4+5=9
Perineural invasion at two locations
40 radiation treatments Jan-Mar 05
PSA May 05 0.07
Aug 05 - 0.15; Feb 06- 0.92; Oct 06- 0.55; Sep 07-0.42; Mar 08-1.13 Aug 08-2.26
Nov 08-3.98; Jan 09-5.81; Mar 09-9.02
Bone scan in Nov 08- one spot in pelvic region 1.9cm with SUV of 11
Bone scan in Mar 09-two spots. Original now 2.5cm with SUV of 22 and 2nd spot less than 1cm with SUV of 7.8
Bone scan in Nov 09 - NO CHANGE WOO HOO!

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 1/1/2010 12:21 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah i know the information provided was not very in-depth.  when they have the january 7th meeting i will provide more details and get some feedback from all of you.  thanks for taking the time to reply.  Amin doesnt really know how to handle any of this and this forum is going to be a great outlet and source of information in the days and weeks to come.  have a great new year everyone and thanks again.  i wish you all the best with your condition and recovery.  this is all greatly appreciated.  we will be getting back here shortly to post a new, more informative thread for some additional feedback.  cant thank you all enough.  enjoy the night everyone.................................

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 3149
   Posted 1/1/2010 12:59 PM (GMT -6)   
If you happen to read this it was mentioned late stage and "requires-surgery and radiation"????
That does not pass the smell test totally, you have many possible choices that you don't even know about. Requires??? Is highly suspect, the docs don't agree on which treatments are necessarily the best, they do agree on making money (most of them anyway)...sorry to say but in my 8 opinions with 'late stage or highly unusual stats' I saw more than a patient should be subjected to and verified such thereafter. Heard opinions that were totally opposed by 'experts' and agendas and even b.s to the patient...hope your road is better than this.
Get an education asap to realize what are the facts in your case. Not an education from anyone person herein including myself....read...study: A Primer on Prostate Cancer-The Empowered Patients Guide (Dr. Strum) is your best friend for knowing more about the facts, get the book from the bookstore herein!!

(Dx 2002- so far doing pretty well inspite of the what the 'experts' suggested as some of my choices..can be difficult to separate the wheat from the shaff) Your case is not directly comparable to another patients...this is PCa...has plenty of exceptions and non-defined areas as you will hopefully find out.
(fyi surgery and radiation has to be $100,000 or much more within the USA) if you go that route hope you have proper insurance or consider it wisely
www.hypertext.org has some info in 3 different languages for PCa folks (might be useful to know, spanish, french??, english)
OTHER FRIENDLY SOURCES OF PCa EDUCATION:  www.yananow.net       www.prostate-help.org       www.paactusa.org 

Youth is wasted on the Young-(W.C. Fields)

Post Edited (zufus) : 1/1/2010 11:11:35 AM (GMT-7)

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