Welcome here to HW Prostate Cancer, glad to have you, and just to let you know, venting anytime you want is one of the priveliges of member ship here.
What was your original goal when you made your choice for surgery? It was to eradicate the cancer and prolong your life. You are coming up on 2-years with PSA's of zeros. You should so thankful to the God that you say you are still mad. Many of us would trade what we have in the other departments for what you have going on with your Zeros. You do realize you are a member by default in our Zero Club.
There are men here that have been through surgery just like yours, then shortly after the surgery failed, then they went through RT or SRT and go through the gruel of raidation treatment, and then later the radiation fails, and then they move on to HT or perhaps nothing, because they ran out of curative means to deal with their cancer. In retrospect, you are doing excellent with the cancer itself.
With a Gleason 7 situation, no need to second guess, you did the right thing for you.
The other important thing you said, your wife loves you anway. That is wonderful, there are those there not fortuante to have a loving wife and partner, and they go through all we do alone. When I was waiting for surgery, my wife of 35 years and I discussed at length, that I might not be able to ever have natural errections again, the I would no longer be able to have "wet" sex, etc.
We have been best friends since she was 18, if I ended up with ED or even ED with incontinence long term, it would do nothing to diminish what we have together. And she knows that if the roles were reversed, I would be there 100% for her.
You have a lot going on for you, my friend, stick with us, and we will help you work through your frustrations.
David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence: 1 Month ED: Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped 9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 43 days, 1/10 - Corrective Surgery #4, and Caths #11 and #12 in at the same time