I have said this before on this forum, that I as a male feel as tho sickness is a weakness, Males are supposed to be strong, the leader, the one who takes care of everyone else.
When we are sick, it is a blow to our ego and self esteem. It takes a while for us to build it back up.
Meanwhile, we don't like a lot of mothering and worrying. We want to handle it ourselves.
I would say just let your husband be as self sufficient as you can. Just so he knows you love and care for him, and are there if he needs it. Sometimes just a snuggle together, a hand in his, or a walk outside is enough to help him through. This is a big jolt to our system. Our mortality, our future, our relationships all become kind of jumbled until we can sort it out.
Just give him time. He'll be OK. Maybe in a few weeks he will invite you along, but if he doesn;t, don't take it personally. It is just his way of handling it.
Good luck to both of you. It has been said before here, this is a couples disease. Our partners have to bear a lot of pain and suffering too. But you can make the difference here, just let it happen.
Age 58, PSA 4.47 Biopsy - 2/12 cores , Gleason 4 + 5 = 9
Da Vinci, Cleveland Clinic 4/14/09 Nerves spared, but carved up a little.
0/23 lymph nodes involved pT3a NO MX
Catheter and 2 stints in ureters for 2 weeks .
Neg Margins, bladder neck negative
Living the Good Life, cancer free 6 week PSA <.03
3 month PSA <.01 (different lab)
5 month PSA <.03 (undetectable)
6 Month PSA <.01
1 pad a day, no progress on ED. Trimix injection
No pads, 1/1/10