It's all simply a matter of time.
Unless you are among the very small percentage who won't recover within a year, then it just takes time. Doing Kegels regularly & correctly does reduce the time to continence recovery, but even if you don't do them you will (most probably) eventually regain continence. While wearing pads is frustrating, I encourage that you channel your frustration energy into motivation to do the Kegels religiously rather than allow it to overwhelm you into lower levels of commitment...which is what you described is happening.
If your doctor hasn't provided you with materials & instructions for Kegels, there are other doctors who post very good instructions online. Here's one which addresses all the questions you asked in your last posting: http://www.urologyteam.com/female-urology/kegel-exercises (don't be thrown off by the portion of the URL that says "female-urology"; it also addresses men's post-RP needs)
I've heard of one doctor who holds a 4-hour training session for all his RP patients on combined topics of pelvic floor rehabilitation treatment (Kegel exercises) and sexual function rehabilitation. In my view, this is a best-in-class medical care.
Again I thank you for your help. I'm going to read that link right now. Due to the comments from all of you guys, I am recommitting to the kegels& will keep you posted.