Welcome to the club that no one wants to belong to. So glad your wife found this forum.
The few stats that you provide seem to indicate that your PCa is similar to mine.
Once I received my dx of PCa, I took my walking very seriously and walked very briskly for an hour each day. Walking is easy to do and really clears the mind, particularly if you are down in the dumps.
With walking and portion control, I lost 15 lb between the dx and my surgery which I believe really helped in my recovery.
First I had to decide on AS or an immediate treatment. You will find a good deal of debate about that here!
I think way too many surgeries are being done and that AS is, if recommended as an option by your doctor, certainly an option that should be considered seriously. There is one caveat however and that is you have to get past the psychological barriers!!
With regard to myself, the question about AS was whether I could deal with the psychological pressure of letting the identified cancer stay in me when the opportunity to have the stuff I knew about removed was available. I knew that I personally could not deal with that so I chose not to follow the AS route.
After deciding not to go the AS route, I considered the other options. My oncologist had outlined all of them. His recommendation was that for my age and health, surgery was recommended.
I did extensive research. Sometimes I thought my mind would explode with all of the information. In the end, in my mind it came down simply to what I believed was the best option for me. Removing the prostrate would give me the best chance of being cancer free. Other options would still be available if some cancer reamained after surgery.
It was surgery first, then I'll look at other options if need be.
As for the type of surgery, my oncologist said that he could see better with DeVinci but with my situation he liked the fact that he could feel during surgery.
I elected open surgery. It was very important to me that I had total confidence in my doctor. I did not seek a lot of opinions because I was lucky enough to have one of the top oncologists in our country located in a hospital 15 minutes from home and after talking to him for 20 minutes, I knew this was the person I wanted to do my surgery.
From what I have read, I believe that at this time, it cannot be predicted that an individual will have better outcomes with one or the other surgery. To me each of these surgeries is very much an individual experience and you cannot rely on what happened to others to be an indicator of what will happen to you.
This post is way longer than I intended. Today is a holiday for us (Family Day) in Ontario, Canada and I am not out doing my usual volunteer work. I hear the family stirring so I had better end this.
Each individual's PCa journey is unique. As Sonny said in an earlier post today, there will be bumps and flat tires during the journey. Individual bumps and flat tires cannot be predicted ahead of time and so we make our decisions based on what we have learned and what we feel is best for us as individuals.
I hope that you will continue to post with us, let us know about the bumps and flat tires. I also hope that you will find some comfort and useful information here.