Husband's Surgery in 2 Weeks

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alicomp
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 2/22/2010 8:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been reading these posts for the last two months, however this is my first post. My husband will be having daVinci surgery in two weeks. Is there anything you suggest I/we do before the surgery, kind of as a way to make him feel good and not worry? Is there anything you wished you had done before your surgery/treatment? I hope this doesn't sound stupid...I just know the few months after surgery will not be fun for him. (We just got home from a big vacation, so that was a nice thing to do before surgery.) Thank you.

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4829
   Posted 2/22/2010 8:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the site and sorry you have to be here...
 
Lots and Lots of sex comes to mindcool
 
But really - tell us about hubby's medical journey so far - age etc....
Age 54   - 5'11"   205lbs
Overall Heath Condition - Good
PSA - July 2007 & Jan 2008 -> 1.3
Biopsy - 03/04/08 -> Gleason 6 
06/25/08 - Da Vinci robotic laparoscopy
05/14/09  - 4th Quarter PSA -> less then .01
11/20/09 - 18 Month PSA -> less then .01
Surgeon - Keith A. Waguespack, M.D.


alicomp
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 2/22/2010 8:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry I didn't include my husband's stats:
Age 60
No history of PCa in family
Treated for prostatitis since 2007
PSA 4.5
Biopsy 12/09: 8/12 had cancer 5% - 50%
Gleason 6
daVinci scheduled for 3/9/10 at UNC

Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 2/22/2010 8:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HW Prostate Cancer. Glad to have you and your husband. Will be glad when his surgery is over and he is on the other side, what we call the recovery side.

A few facts about his case would be helpful, so we can learn more about his PC journey.

Remember, there are no stupid questions here, so ask anything you wish.

And please keep us posted.

David in SC
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence:  1 Month     ED:  Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4,  Caths #11 and #12 in at the same time, 2/8-Cath #11 out - 21 days


Tamu
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 626
   Posted 2/22/2010 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
alicomp,

First of all this is major surgery even though the Da Vinci helps with recovery. To help recovery your husband should exericse between now and the surgery. The two of you can take a couple of walks a day. I walked about 5 miles a day split between morning and evening. I do wish my wife and I had sex more often before the surgery. My surgery was planned for three months but really did not get to me till about two weeks prior. The long vacation was good as we did the same thing.

Intimacy is good right now. For us men this surgery is more then just physiological. It is not just the removal of a problem but a change to who we are. Your husband will be different. Your lives together will be changed. Take this time between now and the surgery to celebrate your current lives and enjoy yourselves. I am not trying to make the post op sound bad but just presenting the reality of the situation you will be dealing with.

Tamu
Diagnosed 7/6/06, 1 of 10 core samples, 40%,Stage T1c, Gleason 3+3
Da Vinci on 11/01/06, Catheter out on 11/13/06
56 Years Old
Post Op Path, Gleason 3+3, Approx. 5% of prostate involved
Prostate Confined, margins clear
Undetectable PSA on 12/18/06, 6/25/07, 1/8/08
No more pads as of 1/13/07
Began injections in April '07
 


James C.
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 4462
   Posted 2/22/2010 9:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HW. I will echo what Tamu said. Cherish each day you have. Lovemaking, walks, ,cuddling, time spent together now will strengthen the bond you have now. What you two will face after the procedure remains to be known, but live the time before it to the fullest. Now's the time to start cutting out outside distractions of families, jobs, things of that nature. It's time to turn inward, and it's healthy to do so. Let the feuding relative, family member, or demanding life fade- for now. There will be plenty of time for it later.... I wish you both a fast and normal recovery.
James C. Age 62
Co-Moderator- Prostate Cancer Forum
4/07 PSA 7.6, referred to Urologist, recheck 6.7
7/07 Biopsy: 3 of 16 PCa, 5% involved, left lobe, GS 3/3=6
9/07 Nerve sparing open RRP 110gms.- Path Report: GS 3+3=6 Stg. pT2c, 110gms, margins clear
32 mts: PSA's: .04 each test since surgery, ED Continues-Bimix .3ml PRN or Trimix .15ml PRN


geezer99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 990
   Posted 2/22/2010 10:35 AM (GMT -6)   
What everyone has said. Plus, he should realize that his lifting will be very restricted (10 lb max) after the operation, so if he has any projects in mind that are more than that, he might feel better to get them done.
Age at diagnosis 66, PSA 5.5
Biopsy 12/08 12 cores, 8 positive
Gleason 3+4=7
CAT scan, Bone scan 1/09 both negative.

Robotic surgery 03/03/09 Catheter Out 03/08/09
Pathology: Lymph nodes & Seminal vesicles negative
Margins positive, Capsular penetration extensive Gleason 4+3=7
6 weeks: 1 pad/day, 1 pad/night -- mostly dry at night.
10 weeks: no pad at night -- slight leakage day/1 pad.
3 mo. PSA 0.0 - now light pads
6 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day
9 mo. PSA 0.00 -- 1 light pad/day ED remains


arb
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 2/23/2010 8:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Alicomp,

I posted it somewhere here, but here are things I remember:
-get an extra leg bag for the catheter from the hospital (in case of a leak)
-do the kegal exercises
-get extra surgical tape-use to retape after 'sponge bath'
-set the overnight bag (large one) in a bucket at night (in case of a leak or overflow)
-use neosporin around the tip where the catheter goes in to help prevent infection and reduce any pain
-do the kegal exercises
-shave the upper right area of the inner right thigh--where they'll tape the cath (trust me, you don't want hair there)
-if he's tall, get a toilet seat 'riser'.  Walgreen's has them for about $20 and will make it easier (it was a lifesaver for me)
-do the kegal exercises
-get a pair or two of xxlarge sweats (or bigger if needed) as it's easier with the cath
-go to winterpark urology associates (florida) website-they have great instructions for kegals and before/after surgery
-also bought a 'donut' foam ring at walgreens--seemed to help with riding in the car or sitting on a hard surface
 
Most of all, let him know that you are there to support him no matter what they find and that things will be ok....as they will be.  He'll want to be out of work for as long as they let him (or can afford it)  I began doing walks on day 2 around the house (inside) and was walking outside by day 4.  A little bit each day.   Did I mention the kegals??  Do them now and then continue to stop any leakage!

Good luck to you both and God bless!

Aaron
Age: 45 years old
Oct 2005 PSA:  3.6
Jan 2006-biopsy 12 needles
Feb 17-Diagnosed
-upper right quad positive (3 needles)
Gleason: 3+3
Stage: 2
May 2006 PSA: 10.2
June 26 2006 DaVinci Robotic Surgery 
    
 PSAs nondetectable for 3 years now!! 
 


arb
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 2/23/2010 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I forgot, journal everything about this trip....including meds/drs/appts/etc It will help later. Livestrong site has one for free--just pay shipping!
Age: 45 years old
Oct 2005 PSA:  3.6
Jan 2006-biopsy 12 needles
Feb 17-Diagnosed
-upper right quad positive (3 needles)
Gleason: 3+3
Stage: 2
May 2006 PSA: 10.2
June 26 2006 DaVinci Robotic Surgery 
    
 PSAs nondetectable for 3 years now!! 
 


defender3
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 2/23/2010 8:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Be careful about shaving prior to surgery, you may want to ask what their policy is as some hospitals will cancel your surgery if you shave yourself. I specifically asked my doctor about shaving and he said I should not. The hospital where I had surgery does a close clipping vice shaving as shaving tends to take a layer of skin or opens the skin so that it could be more prone to infection.

keysailfisher
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 2/23/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
This thread has alot of information.
 
Neal
age 45
psa 3.09
Biopsy results 12/9
Left side base 3+3=6 21% 2/2 cores positive
Left side mid  3+3=6 100% 2/2 cores positive
Left side apex 3+4=7 88% 2/2 cores positive
Right side - 0/6
CT & Bone scan negative
Davinci Feb. 5th 2010/ cath removal 2/16
 
Gleason-3+4=7
Extent of tumor-Bilateral
Extraprostatic Extension-Absent
Seminal Vesicles-Negative for tumor
Surgical Margins-Rt apical margin focally positive
lymphovascular invasion-Suspicious in areas of capsular involvement
Regional lymph nodes-One node negative
Stage-T2c NO Mx
Incontinence-yes


Purgatory
Elite Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 25380
   Posted 2/23/2010 8:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I will back what Defender just said about the shaving part. When I go to pre-op for my surgeries at my local hospital, they make a big deal about them not want the patient to shave anything off on their own in preperation for surgery, for the reason of infections and the liability it could cause.

For the average man having surgery here, they will only be on a cath for 7-14 days tops, a few exceptions of course, and during that length of time you shouldn't have too much trouble with fastening the catheter to the thigh, or enough time to deal with serious adhesive burns, i.e. tape burn.
Age: 57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.3
3rd Biopsy: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3
Open RP: 11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09
Path Rpt: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin
Incontinence:  1 Month     ED:  Non issue at any point post surgery
Post Surgery  PSA: 2/09 .05,5/09 .1, 6/09 .11. 8/09 .16
Post SRT PSA: 1/10 .12
Latest: 7/9 met 2 rad. oncl, 7/9 cath #6 - blockage, 8/9 2nd corr surgery, 8/9 cath #7 out 38 days, 9/9 - met 3rd rad. oncl., mapped  9/9, 10/1 - 3rd corr. surgery - SP cath/hard dialation, 10/5 - 11/27 IMRT SRT 39 sess/72 gys ,cath #8 33 days, Cath #9 35 days, 12/7 - Cath #10 43 days, 1/19 - Corr Surgery #4,  Caths #11 and #12 in at the same time, 2/8-Cath #11 out - 21 days


DS Can
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 2/23/2010 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome alicomp,

Tell your husband that you love him and make sure that he knows that you will be there for him.  If he wants to talk, listen.  If he wants to hug you and hold you, hug him back.  If he wants some privacy, let him have it.  Mood swings should be expected.  Unless he enjoys it, don't hover over him like he is can't do anything.  If you have doctor appointments, go with him, four ears are better than two. 

Find the best place to have the recliner during recovery and let him try it out after his exercising.  He will want lots of lounging around for two to three weeks after surgery, then he can go back to being Superman.  Best wishes for a successful surgery and great recovery,

Dan

 


PSA 01/07 1.2, PSA 01/08 1.9, PSA 01/09 2.5
BIOPSY 02/24/09  PCa DX age 52
Right: 3+3=6, 3/6 cores 10% involved,PNI-Y
Left:  3+3=6, 1/7 cores <5% involved,PNI-N
LARP 04/09/09 nerve sparing. Final pathology:
GS 3+4=7, Margins uninvolved, 2 lymph nodes negative
Catheter out 04/17,1st no-pad day 05/03
Followup PSA 05/28/09,08/20/09,12/08/09 <0.1
 
 


dogyluver
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 2/24/2010 1:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Doing little things that the drs. don't tell you. Purchase several pairs of hip-hop pants that either button or zip all the way up on the outer part of the leg, sold a sporting goods stores:Dick's, Dunhams, a note pad and pen for questions to ask drs.
men's guards, chucks, white wash clothes and many of them, ice and ice bags chances are that his scrotum will be swollen and this is normal so try not to be alarmed, soup, throat losenges, vinegar for rinsing the catheter, light meals, tylenol, surgical dressing and tape, vasoline for catheter or surgilube, no matter what your husband says make sure he uses it. My husband insisted that it didn't work and refused to use it, until his penis was so sore and irritated that he was in tears and couldn't walk. alcohol pads for cleaning the tip of the catheter. Loose fitting briefs for after the catheter comes out, his abdomen will be swollen and tender anything tight fitting will be painful. I hate to say it but male Depends, for the first couple of days after the catheter comes out. My husband also used the Depends with the tabs not the pull up type while the catheter was still in so that he could feel somewhat human. A vegetable laxative such as Senna any kind of pain medication will cause constipation, and constipation is very painful after a prostatectomy and suppositories are a big no-no after surgery.Also depression is extremely common for men after a prostatectomy even though they won't admit to it.
Get little things to keep him busy while in bed, card games, pc games an exersize band and stress squeeze balls. Also, get something for yourself, this is a very difficult time for both of you. You need to keep yourself strong for him, he will go through the physical pain, but you will go through pain as well. If you need the time to cry, showers are a great help.Have him get a hair cut the day before and trim toenails, rubber sole slippers toes enclosed. Things to watch out for post op check the tubing of the catheter freguently make sure it is flowing signs of build up are salt like chrystals in the tubing it and it became cloudy and thick looking
You may need some type of reminder when catheter when catheter comes out that he needs to urinate every 2 hours, my husband initially didn't have the sensation to urinate and need reminders he felt that he didn't need to go but he did. At first the stream was weak, but gradually gained strength. The only time he had the sensation was night time. Then it was hourly.
My husband still has incontinent issues especially standing still. He is ok when sitting, laying down, or when moving running walking but constant movement but as soon as he stands still there is leakage.
Be his rock, you are the soarse of his strength right now, he probably won't admit it (most men won't). Men generally don't or won't ask questions, so you need to do that for him. I think it's our roles as wives.
Ask when to start ed meds, many drs recommend as soon as catheter comes out. This is to restore natural blood flow and not to achieve an erection. Also manual message to the penis again not to achieve an erection. It is usually 6 to 8 weeks post op before it is ok to start trying to have an erection. He may have successful enough to have sex or he may not it depends on if nerve sparring surgery was able to be done. Also his diet, and physical health also if he smokes or drinks play a role. Even though he may not be able to have an erection, he still will be able to have an orgasm. My husband didn't think he would be able to, but has since found out otherwise.Urine leakage is common during sex, especially during an orgasm it's like urine replaces ejaculate. And at about the same force and amount.
A really helpful sight the I found was Ladies only prostate.org this is an online support group. This is a group of wonderful ladies that will provide you with support, you can ask anything or say anything they are wonderful.
The best of luck to both of you.
April 09 PSA 3.2
May 09 DRE enlarged prostate
July 09 PSA 5.2
July 09 Biopsy 5 out of 12 malignant
Gleason score: Primary 3, Seconary 4 Total 7
August 24, 2009
Radical Open Prostatectomy Andocarcinoma of the prostate
% of 4 and/or 5: 1-25%
% of 3    76-90%
Androgen deprivation effect: Negative
Apical involvement: Positive
Apical marginal involvement: Negative
Extraprostatic extension (EPE): Negative
Margin: Negative
Bladder Neck Shave: Negative
 
Areas of involvement: Right and Left lateral, posterolateral and posterior and left anterior apex and mid prostate
Principle area of involvement: Right and left lateral, posterolateral and posterior apex and mid prostate
Focality: Multifocal
Volume: Medium(100 Sq mm)
Ejaculatory Duct: Negative
Seminal vesicles involvment (SVI): Negative
Vas deferens N/A
High Grade PIN: Positive
Neuroendocrine differentiation: Negative
 
Pathologic Stage: pT2c NO MX


alicomp
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 2/24/2010 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you to everyone for all of your ideas. Alice

soulmate 101
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 2/24/2010 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Wonderful advice here on this thread. I'll add my thoughts, even if redundant:

Savor each day together and the familiar ways that you express affection to one another. Make love often. Keep your communication with each other wide open. There have been rough patches post surgery where I thought that if my husband and I were not such natural communicators with one another, a wedge could easily have been driven between us.

My massage therapist reminded me that the body has muscle memory, I tried to give my husband wonderful memories, told myself that we would enter a season of sleep and healing, but that the memories would help in the waking up process.

Keep a journal to process your own journey, just for yourself. Allow yourself your own reactions, feelings and space.

Be ready for two steps forward, one step back at times.

Sending best wishes.
soulmate
Husband, age 57, diagnosed in December 09, after PSA velocity increase from 2.71 to 4.34 over one year prompted a prostate biopsy.
Gleason 4+3 = 7 stage T2c, laparoscopic nerve sparing Da Vinci robotic radical prostatectomy 1/13/10, clear surgical margins no lymph node or seminal vesicle involvement.
Let the healing begin...


engineer55
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 121
   Posted 2/24/2010 7:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Get some draw string pants, easy to find online
Dx'ed 5/08 one core 2%  out of 12  3+3 gleason
DREs all negative
PSA was in the 3-4 range then jumped to 7
I have the enlarged prostate, on the order of 100cc.  After taking Avodart for 3 months  my
PSA was cut in half.
I did Active S for a year but concluded that I didn't want a life
of biopsies and Uro meetings.
DaVinci on 6/24/09  UCI Med Center  Dr Ahlering, long surgery based on size and location
Final was 5% one side all clear, but had a huge 90 grm prostate
Now we work on pee control, ok at night but sitting is a big problem.


soulmate 101
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 2/24/2010 7:44 PM (GMT -6)   
yes! Drawstring pants!

also, our doctor put my husband on colace twice a day immediately after surgery for the first two months, and he has had zero discomfort regarding moving bowels.
He was on a clear liquid diet also for three full days post op. I believe that easing things gently back into his diet has been a tremendous help. You might ask your doctor his thoughts on this.
Husband, age 57, diagnosed in December 09, after PSA velocity increase from 2.71 to 4.34 over one year prompted a prostate biopsy.
Gleason 4+3 = 7 stage T2c, laparoscopic nerve sparing Da Vinci robotic radical prostatectomy 1/13/10, clear surgical margins no lymph node or seminal vesicle involvement.
six weeks post op: leaking has stopped, no more pads, soreness in wounds has dissipated. ED: inconsistent results with Viagra, just started using Manly, with some promising results. In good spirits. (thanks to you folks)


dogyluver
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 2/26/2010 12:57 PM (GMT -6)   
An addition to what I had stated in my previous post was many of the larger hospitals provide a service that is called Reiky therapy or touch therapy. This was a complimentary service for both of us provided by the Cleveland Clinic. It was very relaxing and of a great deal of help for both of us. They also supplied with relaxation music. This was very helpful especially since his room was across from er with helicopters and ambulances arriving all hours of the night.
This surgery was life changing for both of us, it has proven to us how strong we are together and that we will let nothing bring us down. As difficult as it has been, we have grown closer and stronger than ever and continues to do so. So try to keep that in mind. We have adapted and so can you.
Good luck to you both.
kstpam@yahoo.com
April 09 PSA 3.2
May 09 DRE enlarged prostate
July 09 PSA 5.2
July 09 Biopsy 5 out of 12 malignant
Gleason score: Primary 3, Seconary 4 Total 7
August 24, 2009
Radical Open Prostatectomy Andocarcinoma of the prostate
% of 4 and/or 5: 1-25%
% of 3    76-90%
Androgen deprivation effect: Negative
Apical involvement: Positive
Apical marginal involvement: Negative
Extraprostatic extension (EPE): Negative
Margin: Negative
Bladder Neck Shave: Negative
 
Areas of involvement: Right and Left lateral, posterolateral and posterior and left anterior apex and mid prostate
Principle area of involvement: Right and left lateral, posterolateral and posterior apex and mid prostate
Focality: Multifocal
Volume: Medium(100 Sq mm)
Ejaculatory Duct: Negative
Seminal vesicles involvment (SVI): Negative
Vas deferens N/A
High Grade PIN: Positive
Neuroendocrine differentiation: Negative
 
Pathologic Stage: pT2c NO MX

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