I needed to read your post several times before I answered, wanted to make sure I understood where you were coming from.
First, all of us have gone through a period of fear and depression after getting a prostate cancer diagnosis. I would have to say that is an expected and normal reaction. Some men also go through a period of anger and denial. Since you have a treatment plan in place, sounds like you are past that point.
You also expressed a very supportive wife (a most important assset), I am married to a caring nurse. You have friends, family, and even a dog. So you already have a core of your support team in place. Many of us have that, but there are those that have to fight this alone, and that is sad.
I have never been on the hormone part of your treatment plan, but many here have. But remember, just because something can cause certain side effects, it doesnt mean it will to you, just means it could. We have several brothers here that have gone your route, with the seeding and the IMRT, so there is a lot of available help when and if you need it.
You being a recovering or recovered drug adict concerns me when in relationship to the subject of anti-depressents. I am a big believer in them for anyone that really needs them. In my more distant past, I was on Lexapro for about
3-4 years. When I decided to stop using it, didn't feel I needed them, I quit cold turkey, never had any withdrawal problems and that was probably 5 or more years ago. But every body reacts differently. If you feel you need them, then you should have good
open talks with your GP and any other doctor that is or will be treating you, make sure that each of them knows your situation, so there won't be any mix up.
I have been on Ambien for over 10 years. There were periods of non-health insurance when I didn't have any for 2-3 months at a time, and I didn't have a problem, other than having a harder time of not getting to sleep. I should add that I come from a family of insomniacs.
Also, you will find the support, encouragment, and general care here with the brothers and sisters at HW to be genuine and great. This place has been an important part of my dealing with prostate cancer. Real friendships have been made here.
We don't judge another person's treatment choice. We try to be honest with the posts, yes, sometimes, you will read some heartbreaking things, other times: you will crack up laughing from some of the clowns and smart "a" here, and we all cheer together when any of us gets some good news, a good test result, etc. We call it a brotherhood, and in reality it is.
Prostate Cancer can be a mean basterd (misspelled on purpose), and for some, a really tough fight. There are no dumb questions, and knowledge about
this cancer is the single best way to abate your fears and worries. There is strength in knowledge.
We are here for you, I hope you keep posting, and keep reading.
We may fight different battles on different days, and sometimes our paths go in different directions, etc, but there is one thing for certain, we hate this thing called Prostate Cancer, and we battle together as a team against the beast. You are welcome to be a part of our team, can't have enough warriors. We will help you fight too.
David in SC
57, 56 dx, PSA: 7/07 5.8, 7/08 12.3, 9/08 14.5, 10/08 16.33rd Biopsy
: 9/08 - 7/7 Positive, 40-90% Cancer, Gleason 4+3Open RP:
11/08, Rht nerves saved, 4 days in hospt, on catheters for 63 days, 5th one out 1/09Path Rpt
: Gleason 3+4, pT2c, 42g, 20% cancer, 1 pos margin