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My 45 year old husband just diagnosed last week!

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Prostate Cancer
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Sleepless09
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2009
Posts : 1268
Posted 3/12/2010 7:08 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Karen,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband. Not the sort of thing you want anytime, and especially at 45. I was 66 when I learned I had PCa last April, and I figured I was too young!

However, if you've managed to get a consult with Eric Estey for da Vinci at the Royal Alexandra Hospital in Edmonton you're in excellent hands. I live in Winnipeg and I flew to Edmonton to have my surgery done by Dr. Estey last June. I researched da Vinci surgeons in Canada, and at major medical centers (or, "centres" as some like to say in Canada just to be a tad snooty) in the United States and picked Estey as THE man I wanted. When my wife and I met with him (and I met with a number of surgeons of the open and da Vinci persuasion) we both left elated and knew we had met the man I wanted to do the surgery. We were also very impresssd with the Royal Alexandra Hospital when I went for the pre-surgery meeting.

My wife, who was an OR nurse, isn't an easy person to impress but she (and I) gave Estey, and the hospital a straight "A" report card. Like I said, I checked him out with everyone from OR nurses who'd worked in his OR to urologists who had worked with him, and urologists who knew him by reputation and listening to him at conferences, etc., and every report was glowing.

One thing I'd urge you to do is to have your husband's slides re-read. I'd call Estey's office and see if he has a pathologist he likes to use and then get the slides sent to that person. If not, use your contacts to find out who reads lots of prostate tissue and is respected. I had an uncle who had his slides re-read and was told he didn't have cancer at all. That led to more reads and in the end it was clear he didn't have cancer, just some abnormal cells. In my case, my second read came back with a higher Gleason score. That didn't mean it was correct, and the first was wrong --- but I went with the worst case as the one I had to deal with and that had a major impact on my treatment decision.

Please do report again and keep us posted. If you care to write me with any particular questions, feel free. My email address is below. I check it from time to time.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
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gold horse
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 366
Posted 3/12/2010 7:11 PM (GMT -8)
Jeffani please continue with your story,that was something.glad you are ok.
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gold horse
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 366
Posted 3/12/2010 7:18 PM (GMT -8)

Hi Karen I was 46 when pc hit me,I when for surgery because I could not deal with cancer inside of me.

I could not wake up every morning leaving with the enemig.so the doc killed the enemig and I am very happy thanks God

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Dilbert61
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2009
Posts : 21
Posted 3/12/2010 7:30 PM (GMT -8)
Good evening,
I was 47 when diagnosed. My father, uncle and grandfather had prostate cancer so it was not a suprise--just how early. I opted for surgery and now am 9 months out, no leakage and dealing with ED. As my wife reminds me, deal with the issues one at a time, the cancer is out, two PSAs of non-detectable--then move on the next steps. I with you well and remember even though we all share our experiences, yours will be uniquely yours. Take care and both of you keep your chin up.
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Franchot
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2009
Posts : 131
Posted 3/12/2010 11:59 PM (GMT -8)
As John T stated a Color Doppler test could help make what direction you want to go with treatment much easier.

I'm a AS believer WHEN the criteria is met. I'm relatively young and elected to go that route.

Jeffaine,

Please continue with your story or start a new thread about it. I, also, am glad to hear that you are okay after your ordeal. And I'm sorry to hear it was such an ordeal.
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kuls
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2010
Posts : 57
Posted 3/13/2010 9:54 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks for the support and excellent info everyone!!

Sleepless......you have NO idea how much I appreciate you giving me information regarding Dr. Estey and your experience with him!

Jeffaine.....PLEASE continue with your story in another thread! It's important for us to hear it, and therapeutic for yourself in the telling!!


An update.....

Our consult with the Radiation oncologist (Dr. H.) on Thursday went extremely well. He spent one and a half hours with us discussing AS and various other modalities, including Brachy.

My husband's young age (longer predicted lifespan) is the ONLY reason I'm worried about AS....there just isn't enough published data that includes men (in large sample numbers) in his age group. None of the doctors I work with, including "Dr. H." that we spent 1 1/2 hours with last week, are trying to push us in ANY treatment direction....they're just providing us with the information and stats for all the different treatment options, and reassuring us that there's no need to jump into anything immediately.

Dr. H. even said that if my husband (Dairn) opts for treatment right away, he'd probably recommend surgery (he's a little young for Brachy), but that if he really WANTED brachy, he'd be willing to do it. He also said he'd be willing to monitor Dairn's PSA levels if he wants to go the AS route (even if it's just for a short time), and if at any time Dairn decides to change his mind, he can pursue any treatment option he chooses. Dr. H is currently monitoring 4 patients who are roughly the same age as Dairn. He's been doing AS with one of the guys for 4 years, since he was 42, and his PSA has remained quite stable. He's also had a couple of guys who tried AS, but couldn't carry on with it because it caused them too much stress knowing their cancer was "still in there". There has been one patient that progressed a little more quickly than he liked to see, so they immediately proceeded with treatment. The fellow happened to choose surgery, with good results.

The Radiation and Medical oncologists here in Canada are on salaries, so they don't get paid on a per-patient basis. There's absolutely no incentive (at least not monetary) for them to push patients in any direction.

I HAVE to share this with you.....it's pretty funny!! When we were in with Dr. H, he was telling Dairn that he could decide at any point in time to go for treatment rather than continuing with AS. He told him that the majority of patients who stop AS do so because it becomes too stressful to have to go for the PSAs and wonder each time "is this gonna be the 'bad' one?". My husband replied, "So what you're saying is that if I'm so stressed out that I can't get an erection, and I'm wetting myself anyway, what's the point?" LOL!!! DID WE EVER HOOWWWLLLLL!!

The one thing we certainly have going for us is that we have a great relationship, and we are talking about absolutely EVERYTHING with eachother! We had a bit of a cry out in the hot tub last night.....I guess I started it when I told him how proud I was of him for being so open and honest, and for how well he's handling things! He's always been able to discuss things with me, but he's usually quite private around other people when it comes to such personal matters. There are a few guys that work for him that he's quite close to, and he told me that when they ask hwo he's doing he discusses his concerns about quality of life, etc. I'm SOOO happy he has found the strength to talk openly about it with other men, and develop a little support network for himself!

I think we're definitely going to get the slides reread by a specialist, and I will contact Dr. Estey's office on Monday to see where he suggests having them sent. Dairn IS considering doing AS for at least a while, so our comfort level will be much better if we can get some reassurance prior to taking that route. I'm also going to see whether a color doppler or MRI would be of any value. The other thing we don't know is his level of Free PSA.

Understandably, he's not sleeping very well....thoughts and fears that you're able to keep at bay during the day have a way of invading your brain at night! He hates taking pills of any kind, but I've told him that at the very least, he's going to try taking a Gravol before bed tonight and see if it helps! How many of your wives have become "bossy cows" since your diagnosis??? LOL!!!!

Having said all this, I think Dairn is leaning toward having surgery, but not immediately.

We're looking forward to our upcoming trip!! We're not going to go to Sedona this year, as we went there last year.....BEAUTIFUL place!! When we get back, we have a consult with a very reputable local urologist to discuss open radical prostatectomy. Also, since there's been sufficient time since the biopsy, Dairn will be able to have another PSA test. The appointment with Dr. Estey is April 12th!!

Thanks again, and I'll keep you posted!!
Karen

Post Edited (kuls) : 3/13/2010 10:58:10 AM (GMT-7)

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James C.
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2007
Posts : 4464
Posted 3/13/2010 2:36 PM (GMT -8)
Welcome to the forum. Sorry you must be here, but I hope you have found a place to share and draw from..
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lawink
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 621
Posted 3/13/2010 3:38 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Karen!

We are also in Edmonton . . . .Bob was diagnosed in the Alberta Urology Institute where Dr. Estey and his wonderful colleagues practice.  Bob's laproscopic prostectomy was performed by Dr. Evans and we have been nothing but satisfied with the entire experience, even though it's something one would rather NOT have to deal with.

Bob was about 12 years older than your hubby, but still younger than some.  We opted for surgical removal to know the cancer was out.  That was a personal choice and neither of us was comfortable with anything else.  Bob was a good candidate for laproscopic, so we chose it as the least invasive route.

We are in Arizona right now enjoying the sunshine where we've been all winter.  You enjoy your visit to the "land of the sun" and use the time to relax before dealing with your visit to Dr. Estey.  I've always heard he's the best and his colleagues are skilled surgeons themselves.

Feel free to email us if you have any further comments or questions about the Institute.  In our case, nerves were not spared and I'd be willing to share my letter with you to our drug plan which has resulted in coverage of erectile dysfunction meds.

Good luck you two.

;o) Linda & Bob

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